Shocked at DS's teacher this week!

[WellThisIsShit]

She made a mess of something last week, which I did mention (politely!) in an email in which I was covering a couple of other unrelated things.

I then found out that lots of parents were 'up in arms' about the problem and there'd been multiple complaints, from individual parents and group complaints. Plus an angry exchange on Monday morning in the play ground, when a parent went in full throttle, and the teacher reacted in kind. All of which was inflamed by the teacher making it clear she hadn't got a clue what the issue was, or even what the parent was talking about at all.

Anyway, big furore and much concern that the teacher isn't up to the job (I'm glad I wasn't at the school gates this week!).

The wider context is that this teacher is coming into a challenging situation and is under the microscope, as she was parachuted in two days before the start of term after another teacher left the school in a fix when they pulled out with no notice. So, ht did a lot of classroom/ teacher shuffling and DS year ended up with this completely new teacher, who is very newly qualified, and has never taught in the uk before (or lived here actually). The school is really demanding and I have often mused that the poor teachers must have to be excellent, every single day, just to keep up - utterly exhausting to think about! Also the parents are err, well, they are much more involved than alot of schools, I think, and they expect to be listened to more as well.

So, anyway, it was all a bit heated and some of the parents were gearing up to a vote of no confidence in this teacher.

All made worse by the teacher responding ineptly showing her inexperience at handling parents... being confrontational, refusing to back down on things that she really shouldn't have chosen to make a stand about, being patently untrue and embarrassing to watch unfold (like the time when she decided to be firm and immovable that there was no one of x name in her class when grandparents did the pick up, and of course everyone watching was aware that x was been in that class for the last 3yrs and was in fact clearly there! Utter cringe my awful moment!), etc etc.

So basically, situation going nuclear fast argh!

So, I was completely shocked to get a sensible, well thought out response to my email, explaining her rationale at some points, and openly taking on my thoughts at others. Admitted she'd got the particular thing X wrong, and why, and how she was moving on from it... and according to other parents who are more tapped into this stuff than me, the teacher has responded in that same way to all the other complaints too, written and also verbal, meeting parents etc.

Basically, I'm really impressed.

Takes a big person to come back from this. And tbh, I wasn't expecting it!

So really, I wanted to share it on here and do a little private cheer for her :)

I think it's the fact that you are even taking up brain space imagining scenarios where you have a plan for how you would have handled her appointment

I literally never think about things like that.

Scabbersley and Pengggwn

I think it's a reflection on the sort of school culture that has been created.

Anyone with experience of that type of culture in schools will know that the teacher will be sacrificed if it means pleasing a nasty mob of bitchy bullies.

Pengggwn
I am 100% in agreement with you!
The head should be hauling the ring leaders in for a meeting and telling them in no uncertain terms that it is THEIR school and that they won't tolerate bullying under any circumstance.

The head should keep the teacher in the classroom and send someone from SLT out at the end of the day and the children get released the way you desribe.

No direct contact with the teacher.
All communicatoon from the office.
All stupid petty whining nastiness should be shut down.

I've seen teachers get thrown under a bus though when that type of vile mob rule has become established. It was horrifying to see.

Penggywn - what if the teacher is actually crap though?

A disproportionate or inappropriate response (to anything in general) doesn't mean there wasn't any case to answer in the first place.

Two wrongs don't make a right.

If the teacher is actually crap and there are massive failings then individual parents need to follow the school complaint procedures and keep it polite and factual.

E.g. Timmy brought his book home and it hasn't been marked in 6 months. I am concerned about his progress this year.

No mention of her being new, beimg overseas trained or anything. No mention of 'and othet parents say'.

I'm very sorry indeed to hear about your son's serious health problems but you're imputing to me things that I have neither said nor implied. I have called you neither evil nor a bully, but you do seem to have bought into the school culture of letting the teacher know where she's going wrong. Let's hope you manage to turn that culture around, as you say you want to do.

Wow! So glad my daughter doesn't teach your child, talk about judgemental!

There's a right way to deal with problems, let me give you a hint, it isn't forming a lynch mob in the playground. Make an appointment, and talk calmly. Make allowances for a newly qualified teacher, it's terrifying being fully responsible for a class of children after having a mentor throughout training, and dealing with parents is a skill that needs to be learnt.

This kind of thing is exactly why I'm now a supply teacher and will never go back into full time teaching.

I really feel for the poor teacher. Especially if she is new to the profession. How will you feel if your collective behaviour makes her leave the profession? I expect you'll all be really smug and self congratulatory.

If a teacher is struggling then I am sure that the headteacher, head of keystage and (if she is new) her NQT supervisor are aware and have put things in place to help her. And, as a PP has mentioned, go through the correct channels if you want to raise an issue.

This nasty behaviour by (some) parents, never allowing a teacher to make a mistake without baying for their blood is why so many teachers have breakdowns and leave the profession. Me included.

Take a long hard look at yourself and your attitude.

Oh and in case you've decided that I must be a terrible teacher I have had 6 schools where I have done supply teaching ask me to apply for jobs. The school where I currently work the most is in the top 20 highest rated primary schools in the country. So it's not me.

chickenowner
You don't need to justify yourself. The teachers on this thread know EXACTLY what you mean and the parents on this thread show what we all know, which is most parents are very supportive and are disgusted by the actions of parents who act this way.

I find the only time I feel the need to justify myself on MN is when the 'I had a bad experience so think I'm an expert in education' brigade turn up with their teachers are so mean and on power trips. You cant ever question them because they are gods bullshit.
Then I remember part way through losing my sanity why engaging with them in any way is like playing chess with a pigeon

The responses on this thread are so much more reflective of parents and teachers than many other 'i want to complain' threads.

Maisy thank you, I really appreciate what you've written. I actually upset myself a bit by reading and responding so am a little cross with myself!!

And I agree, most parents are great, but sadly it only takes one or two to really affect your job and your life.

Not a problem chicken
You are right. It only takes a handful to really ruin the job and take the attention and focus away from the majority of parents and students who are amazing.

Same on here. Most users don't post about school things because they are happy. Some post reasonable concerns and are open to being told you are being reasonable / i see your point but maybe approach it this way.

Then there's the group who if any teacher says something they don't like it's a perfect excuse for their vent about all teachers anywhere I always imagine yhat they are the ones who are 'those parents' that get well known in school for all the wrong reasons. The difference is that in my school they are in such a minority that it's easy to ignore but on here it's like a little cheerleading team that really enjoy laying into teachers leaving people feeling the need yo justify everything. Fact is you can't because people like that aren't reasonable.
Thankfully most people are.

And to the poster who's insistently asking how I got to hear of it, a play date, and on pick up it was referenced,

As the poster who insistently asked I asked how you heard about it, you dodged the question so I asked again because your OP 100% implies you are part and parcel of the parent group out to oust this teacher. A subsequent post states you have never been a part of it, never seen it or done many picks ups where you have seen it, to emphasise how you are nothing to do with the parents. But when I raise a legitimate and perfectly polite question to ask, well how do you know about it and lo and behold, you have heard through gossip at play dates and through pick ups. So you are in some part, part of the problem and not as 100% innocent as you make out, otherwise you would have told these fellow parents there and then that what they are doing is wrong.

So......that went well.

We're not surprised the OP has backed away from this one. Despite the likeness to a AIBU thread title, we don't think anyone could've predicted this thread would blow up quite so furiously.

Everyone grab some - it's Saturday afterall

we don't think anyone could've predicted this thread would blow up quite so furiously.

Really? Given the inflammatory nature of the OP and the state of recruitment and retention in teaching at the moment, it was never going to go any other way.

Thx flissmumsnet :)
Thread seems to have calmed down since I last checked in. Still waiting for someone (mylittledragon maybe?) to explain to me how it's seen as acceptable for parents to behave in this way towards a teacher who is perceived to not be very good at their job, when you wouldn't get away with it in any other walk of life...

Fritz- I wasn't commenting on the parents response. I was commenting on the fact some posters seem to think it's impossible that a teacher might not be up to scratch. Two completely separate issues. I was commenting on the first.

*second! Argh.

if a parent is unhappy with a teacher you start by talking to the teacher then to the head and if the child has to stay in that particular class you supplement on your own.

Oh my god you all sound like a bunch of loud bullies from Jeremy Kyle

outtopasture What does "supplement on your own" mean?

I mentioned at the beginning of the thread about my daughters teacher being a shouter.
A few parents have been in the school corridor after lessons have started and have inadvertently heard the teacher shouting at the children.

Are we supposed to just accept this or complain to the HT that some children are afraid of the teacher?

As someone mentioned in another thread, on MN teachers are above criticism

The horrible truth is that if the parents have no morals are prepared to behave this badly, they probably can rule the roost. Ofsted put so much stock by what parents think, that even if its unwarranted or downright abusive often the teacher is the one who suffers.

I have had my issues with my children's teachers over the years, but like most people I ignore most small ones, politely talk about others and on one very rare occasion I complained to the head and it was resolved without need for name calling or demanding someone be sacked! My experience as a teacher has shown me that most parents are 'normal' but a small minority can destroy the job, your mental health and impact the quality of your work. One school I worked at the HT basically spent about 50% of her time dealing with 3 (frankly crazy) parents. The other parents should be outraged about this because it really impacts on the time that gets spent on actually educating children.
If you're a parent governor ask the HT how much time they spend dealing with one or two repeat customers....then make it clear you'll support them if they are being abusive to staff.

Really fliss
I think it was obvious how this thread was going to go.

Every teacher on MN would read the OP and see parallels between their own experiences of bullying, nasty parents and the situation in the OP

Most parents a wondeful and very supportive and are rightly appalled to hear the attitude of some parents towards schools and teachers.

If I'm honest, it was really nice to see overhwelming support for this poor teacher from.teachers and parents because there are a fair few teacher threads where some posters sound very much like the parents in tbis situation.