?a) We as parents "we are working against the school" by showing DS different methods of addition and subtraction, etc (see previous posts)? ;
I think it must be hugely frustrating for teachers trying to teach 30 kids one way of doing things and getting them to try and learn it, to then have one child who insists that things can be done another way because that?s how he?s been taught at home. Why do you feel the need to teach your child different ways of doing things? It?s one thing helping a child with homework and helping them to do the things he?s been taught at school by reinforcing the way he?s been taught to do it, it?s totally another going against what he?s been taught and trying to bring in new methods of doing things that go against what he, and all his peers, have been taught. It must also be very confusing for the child to be taught one thing by one person, and another by someone else.
?b) HT is worried about DS socially "does he do any activities outside school, has he got any friends, etc, are we putting too much pressure on him" - felt
like saying FO!?
you need to ask yourself what makes him think like this. Why would a head teacher be concerned about one child?s social wellbeing? As parents we all want the best for our children, we all want them to do well at school, and in some instances, we want them to excel above their peers and be the best at what they do. But sometimes, as parents, we live vicariously through our children, wanting them to achieve the things we never did, and this can unwittingly result in us putting huge amounts of pressure on them without even realizing it. The ht is detached from all this, he is looking in from the outside, and he will have seen it hundreds of times before, whereas we as parents, although we strive to do the absolute best for our children, sometimes can?t see past the goals we have in sight for them. He is not trying to criticise you, he is trying to help you, and your son, to achieve the best he can. Your ds has the whole school day to learn how to do things, that?s why he goes to school. The time after school should be for playing, socializing with his mates, doing sport if he chooses, chilling out, not for continuing the education process and doing sat papers and learning different ways of doing things than the ways he?s been taught at school. If he?s doing all this extra work outside school when does he get time to be a child?
?c) HT is "very cross that I have obtained past SATs papers and DS has done them - well I might add!"
again, sat papers are for school time not for doing at home. And ?well I might add? says a lot to me about the way you feel about your ds? intellectual capabilities. The fact you seem to feel the need to reiterate that he did them well is, IMO, an indication of the expectations you have of your ds, and the fact you feel everyone needs to know how bright he is.
?e) HT wants a meeting with DH & myself "to put us back on the right track!"?
I think a meeting will be very useful tbh, and I think you should go in there with an open mind and not with your back up straight away. The man has the interests of your child at heart. He is not the enemy. Just because he disagrees with the way you?re doing things does not make him wrong, he is trying to help your ds to achieve the best he can, not just on an intellectual level but also a social/emotional one.
I have no doubt that you are doing the best for your child and that you want him to achieve the best he can, but he is only a child, and he will only be a child for a few years, there?s time for sats and exams and study and all that when he?s much older.