Just been hauled into HT office !!!!!! I'm so mad !

[alisonmc]

Hi all,
I hate my DS school! At my DS school I am probably the only parent that actively tries to help DS with his work. We read every night, he likes doing sums and other spelling activities...........so what is the problem - here goes:
a) We as parents "we are working against the school" by showing DS different methods of addition and subtraction, etc (see previous posts);
b) HT is worried about DS socially "does he do any activities outside school, has he got any friends, etc, are we putting too much pressure on him" - felt like saying FO!
c) HT is "very cross that I have obtained past SATs papers and DS has done them - well I might add!"
d) HT had DS in office on Monday for an incident "but was sorted out at the time, so no need to tell you about it" - until today that is !!!!
e) HT wants a meeting with DH & myself "to put us back on the right track!"

How ludicrous can this be ? There are thousands of children that get no help or support with their work, have severe home lives, etc - but a child who has loving and caring parents, great social life and home life is getting all this........

I am absolutely livid !

i mean really HAUl?

lordy

Alison, I feel for you here. I also have a bright son, and I am very tempted to put more work in front of him, because he enjoys doing it, and because I feel that I want to encourage his desire to learn.

BUT ... I am also aware that by moving him forward ahead of his class, that creates a problem for him, as well as for his teacher. If he is too far ahead, he will be bored by what is happening in class, and that is likely to lead to behaviour problems. He is also likely to be aliented from his peers at school, so over time playtimes can become a problem too, and you end up with a very bright child who tends to be a loner, with no close friends (actually I have to say 30 kids plus at a birthday party sounds like a nightmare. I'd much rather ds had 5 or 6 close friends).

You are obviously a very academic person, and tend to judge success in academic terms. Thats fine, but I think 7 is a bit young to go down that route.

We now exploit ds's brightness in other ways. We joined the National Trust, and take him to properties which then light his interest in History. Then he will happily read round the subject.

Similarly, play with a simple chemistry set. In other words, do educational things, but not in an academic way.

And please give him time to be bored. I think it's very important that kids learn to occupy themselves, and just chill out (as others have said). Otherwise his future wife will get sick of the "We have to be doing something" mentality.

Life isn't a competition. While it's good to have a bit of a competitive streak, it should be kept in it's place, and if your ds is getting soooo upset because he can't get the teachers method of doing sums, it sounds like he needs to reign back a bit, and ask for it to be explained again.

Is the new method this insanity about 51 +25 being done as 1+5=6, 50+20=70, 70+6=76? ie instead of

51+
25=
76

?

If my ds asked for a test paper I would assume he was a)worried to death about them or b) feeling under pressure to do well (either self inflicted or school driven)

Either way the answer would have been no.

Jeez, I think most 'future wives' would love an interested, passionate man with plenty of interests.

well there a re lots of ways of getting kdis to try and add up larger numebr in their heads ratehr than having to do column additon
they alo pratice like 31 plus 11 as bing 30 plus 10 plus 2 for a while

maths has gone up HYGELY in populaorty as kid have been taught to think through maths probs nto jsut learn tricks

I remember your other thread alison. Even in that, you did come across as 'pushy' even if you did not intend to be that way - I can see why the HT might be concerned. I still think practising SATS papers for a year 2 child is just not necessary.

Can only suggest that you go to the meeting with an open mind - perhaps they have some insights into your son's behaviour and attitude to school that may be quite useful.

From the OP, it sounds very strange that all this seeming animosity from the Headteacher should come from nowhere.
It seems an awfully aggressive response from the school to a few test papers and some extra maths.
Is this really the first time any of these issues have come up?
And if they are concerned about your DS's social situation, has he perhaps had problems relating to other people in class/school?
If it really is the only time you have been spoken to about these issues, I think I would consider looking for another school, TBH.

But aloha, if he has downtime, a bright kid will develop interests.

A kid that has activities organised all the time may have more trouble with deciding what he wants to do, developing in a more rounded way.

Just my opinion, not criticising

Aloha - yes that is exactly it. It takes far too long, steps can be missed and incorrectly represented ,etc. It's mad !

Puddle - DS started talking about SATs papers after last term holiday as it was mentioned in school. He said that he did a practice paper in school and got lots of the addition and subtraction wrong through doing the silly string method - hence why we got practice papers for him to do to build his confidence. He is now happy as he knows he is doing well and understanding the old partion method. I would not have given them to him if he thought he would be worried by them. Thankfully he sees the SATs papers as a quiz and enjoys them.

Agree with clumsymum, children have to learn to occupy themselves. And a bright child faced with nothing to do will surely put that intelligence to use and think of something to do?

Well, he won't be able to play football or tennis by himself, will he?

I'd leave the SATs papers for the school to do and concentrate on other things where you are not going to tread on their toes. Otherwise you might as well home school because you seem to do formal work with him anyway.
There are so many informal ways of stretching and challenging more able children, not just regurgitating what they do in school. Also there are a lot of maths resources available which aren't used in school, can you not pursue that route instead?

sorry didn't read carefully through the whole thread, alisonmc, but I wouldn't be satisfied with this school either and I am sure that, like you, I would have been teaching him at home. It does sound as if they expect little from the dc and their parents generally. Is there any hope of moving him to a more academic school now or in the foreseeable future?

I think hooray for you for teaching your child a simple, sensible way of adding up that makes it easy for him instead of lumbering him with a temporarily fashionable method that clearly doesn't work for him.

If he's year 2 then he shouldn't even know what a SATS paper is. Most schools do not refer to Y2 SATS as such. They do no prep, no practice papers and they are introduced merely as 'todays work'. That may well be why they're annoyed at the SATS stuff. Why would you want to do that with him? You can encourage his learning so much better in other ways such as practical learning.

Yea, Aloha; that's the method. And bloody good it is too. In my job you can see how some children finally and only understand through that method. As cod says, numeracy standards have have gone shooting up with the widespread introduction of such methods.

Humphreycushion - Yes this has come totally from out of the blue. DS has always had glowing parents evenings and reports. Never have either my DH or I been told about his behaviour. DS got two 'star of the day' awards last week and in parents evening his teacher said "he's a lovely child". We have been told he always works hard in school and even encouraged to do more with him when we have time at home.

I think the reason why I am so defensive about all of this is that our work with our DS is not new - we have been doing this for 3 years - why wait until now to bring it up ?

AfAIK SATs methods are marked as well as the correct answer so he really does need to learn the schools method however silly it may seem to you, or he could face more difficulties further down the line. School teaching is all about giving the building bricks for the next stage. Without these bricks the next level may be even more confusing.

They clearly feel threatened by you. Rise above it. If your child is happy (and he certainly seems to be doing well) then that's what matters. It does seem that some schools believe the child should be moulded to fit the school, rather than the school being for the child's benefit.

Hmmm Alison. Do you not think a better approach would have been to speak to the teacher about why he got stuff wrong, why he is finding this method hard to understand and how you could work together to help him rebuild his confidence?

I think it is more important that a child can add up quickly and effectively than the school gets its sats bolstered at the expense of that child.

But if it doesn't work for him that's fine, other methods will. Although, I have to say, in all honesty, I have never come across a child who didn't understand it sat out in basicform but understood column method. IME, the more able children hate it as it's long and they understand it very quicky. That's fine, time for them to move on. BUT, before it was taught this way, many, many children had no idea how to to calculate these questions either mentally or in jottings.

On the contrary Aloha my DS who is 6 and reasonably bright (I think) spends literally hours playing football on his own in the garden as my lawn and plants can testify. He has a Match of the Day annual which he pours over (usually when he is supposed to be getting dressed ) and then he goes out and pretends to be all sorts of foreign players and teams and coming up with score lines etc. I think this is quite educational - there is geography (locations of countries, clubs etc), maths (with all the stats in the book), reading, physical exercise, imagination (making up match scenarios etc). OTOH it does become utterly tedious and he is banned from talking about football at mealtimes.

if this is the case then it sounds like you should be able to resolve it very quickly..maybe ds has made a fuss at school and the ht just wants to get you and school working together

when I didn't understand the school methods I just let the school to their ways and did other stuff at home it's not as though there is a shortage of things to do that won't impinge on the school

just do different stuff and go to the meeting with an open mind

if you don't like it then just do your own thing at home with a view to avoiding conflicting areas of work

That was to the post about not playing football on his own. I am slow.