Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Original poster

Teacher wouldn't let DS go to the toilet

327 replies

Louise1178 · 13/05/2017 19:33

What are the standard rules for toilet breaks in year 1?

I'm livid with the teacher as yesterday ds 5, wet himself at school. He says when he came in from lunchtime he needed a wee, but the teacher wouldn't let him go, he said he asked again after the first lesson and said he really needed to go, but she refused again. He held on until the end of the day but wet himself on the way to the toilet.
The afternoon runs for 2 and half hours with no afternoon playtime.

Would it be unreasonable to complain?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Feenie · 14/05/2017 18:51

You was poorly???

Dear god.

user789653241 · 14/05/2017 18:55

Mrz, I know you would, but I trust your judgement. And I know you wouldn't do nasty things to power trip children like some of them seems to do.

Theresnonamesleft · 14/05/2017 18:55

But she didn't know she was poorly until after she came back from the toilet. In your class she would have wet/soiled herself

Vicky1989 · 14/05/2017 19:09

True. Actually I have never a child wet themselves. I did have a boy who was a known troublemaker who threatened he would pee in the bin when I refused to let him go, I just laughed it off and he sat back down. He then bypassed the loos on the way out of class,obviously didn't need it that much

mycavitiesareempty · 14/05/2017 19:28

I knew someone would pick up on the use of the forbidden 'human rights' phrase. You cannot use it in the context of schools without someone getting on their high horse about how it undermines the teacherly way. Pfffft. This is my line in the sand. Everyone has one about something. I was prevented from going to the toilet in y3 at school despite urge incontinence. It gave me life-long issues with bladder anxiety. No-one is doing that to my child.

catkind · 14/05/2017 19:30

I didn't tell the teacher I was poorly, I didn't know it myself.

Longer term medical issues too, sometimes the symptoms present before the diagnosis. Well, always really, obviously, but you can't rule out them presenting at school near the beginning too.

catkind · 14/05/2017 19:32

feenie, you have a point there.

MaisyPops · 14/05/2017 19:36

I knew someone would pick up on the use of the forbidden 'human rights' phrase. You cannot use it in the context of schools without someone getting on their high horse about how it undermines the teacherly way
Nothing to do with being a teacher. I dislike people claiming human rights for issues that are not human rights.
It equally annoys me when a business doesn't allow something /has an expectation and people start crying human rights. It trivialises actual human rights abuses.

By all means, arrange to have a perfectly reasonable chat with the teacher about a situation you're not happy with. As a teacher I'm more than happy to have a chat with any reasonable parent. But my willingness to engage when parents yell human rights and come on all confrontational about how they'll complain about me drops off a cliff.

ConfessorKahlan · 14/05/2017 19:48

I've already stated my methods of classroom management with regards to requests to use the toilet during lesson time in my Year 5 class. As an adult, I would hate be in the situation that some of the children who are refused permission must be.

However, I am very concerned about the standard of grammar being used by some posters who claim to be teachers. The occasional typo is understandable, but some of the very basic grammatical errors in their posts are appalling.

OffRoader · 14/05/2017 19:49

School where I work Yr1 still has continuous provision; feel sorry for all these 5/6 year old children tied to desks all day.

Longest lesson is RWI for 1 hour, the rest no longer than 20-30 minutes on the carpet, then free flow. Same in year 2.

They still occasionally ask for the toilet during teaching, but it's not long to wait.

MaisyPops · 14/05/2017 20:09

The occasional typo is understandable, but some of the very basic grammatical errors in their posts are appalling
Alternatively people who are typing on their phones aren't crafting works of literature for an online message board and there's nothing to say that people must write and speak in standard English at all times in their life.

I speak and write in standard English in the classroom but outside of school use regional dialect which includes quite a bit of non standard grammar e.g. tret instead of treated.
The idea that using non standard English means somebody can say "claim to be teachers" and suggest my language is awful is just a joke.
I teach my students that there's a time and a place for dialect and a time/place for standard English. Can't stand language snobs. And I'm a linguistics graduate.

user789653241 · 14/05/2017 20:16

Maisy, but spoken and written language is different, surely? Do you write in your dialect?
(I am foreign, I always use this as my excuse for poor grammar/spelling/ etc!)

elkegel · 14/05/2017 20:16

I think though if in Y1 they are expected to hang on to break times, some teachers could do a better job of then signalling that it is now a good time to go for a wee at break times, or else kids hold on, forget, get distracted, have accidents or get UTIs.

MaisyPops · 14/05/2017 20:24

irvineoneohone
Note taking, messaging, online etc yeah I do.
It's also a well researched feature of online communication is a mix of spoken and written features. There's an entire area of research into it.

It's why being a language snob/pedant online is a pointless exercise.

Feenie · 14/05/2017 20:24

There is never a time or place to say 'you was' or to refer to the register having been 'took', imo, and I'm afraid I I do judge teachers who choose to type mistakes like that or who make them in conversation.

mycavitiesareempty · 14/05/2017 20:27

Maisypops, the right to be treated with dignity and not be humiliated, to have dominion over your own body, and free access to appropiate sanitary facilities are core human rights, are they not? Certainly that's the way organisations like HRW see it.

Infringement of human rights doesn't only come to the fore in situations of extreme repression.

Check out rights-respecting schools. It's about respecting human rights in every context.

mycavitiesareempty · 14/05/2017 20:30

But maisypops I do agree with you about grammar and spelling pedants. PPS, get yer sen some decent Noam Chomsky and Steven Pinker books about evolving linguistic forms ;)

mycavitiesareempty · 14/05/2017 20:31

Pps as in previous posters, not as in p.s.

mycavitiesareempty · 14/05/2017 20:34

I very frequently write on here and even speak in what would be considered non-grammatically regular ways. The horror! And yet I was a straight A student, got a first, and write professionally now. Imagine! All this despite growing up in dialect!

MaisyPops · 14/05/2017 21:14

There is never a time or place to say 'you was' or to refer to the register having been 'took', imo, and I'm afraid I I do judge teachers who choose to type mistakes like that or who make them in conversation.

Well I wouldn't say the register has been took because in the classroom I use standard English (Like I just said but there we go).
Standard English is only required for certain things. If someone wants to seriously judge the language of others on an Internet forum or how people text then I just think it's quite sad. Language is always evolving and it's not about mistakes. It's about different varieties of language. Thank you so much though for enlightening us with your view that anyone in the UK with a regional dialect is simply an idiot who cant speak 'properly'.

To look down on dialects in informal contexts as being "mistakes" is quite frankly snobby and judgemental.

Not only that but it also shows a total lack of understanding about language and how language works. But hey, I'm generally of the opinion that loud mouth language pedants who judge language inappropriately for the context only show themselves up by their own lack of knowledge.

MaisyPops · 14/05/2017 21:19

mycavitiesareempty
That doesn't mean the right to go to the bathroom whenever you like.

I teach children to use their breaks. If they are desperate and haven't repeatedly tried to waste time then I let them go during class. They know that I'm reasonable as long as they are.

It still doesn't mean I'm going to allow any parent to come up to me telling human rights because I made their child wait 15 mins to go to the loo.
Shall I just leave 32 teenagers unattended so I can walk across site to the staff bathrooms?

Sometimes I think half the reasons schools end up removing the discretion from staff (which my school gives me and I use!) Is because it gets taken advantage of by people feeling they can demand to be out whenever they like, sit and drink loads of water bottles and then get annoyed when they get told no.

It's simple.
Kids use breaks and lunches.
I'll generally ask them to ask me again in 10 mins if they're desperate / you can go but you need to make the time up at break etv
If they are actually desperate (and don't repeatedly rely on lesson trips) then I exercise discretion

It works just fine. They don't try to take the piss and I'm reasonable.

holidaysaregreat · 14/05/2017 22:43

maisy it is a basic human right to go to the toilet though. A 5 year old should not be made to wait all afternoon. I don't generally like teacher bashing threads but I think I would have to say something to class teacher if they did this to one of my children.
Yes of course they should go at lunch - but between lunch and end of school is quite a long time to hold on (for anyone not just a 5 yr old)

storynanny · 14/05/2017 23:24

Agree. If anyone had stopped my young children going to the toilet I would have been in to their school for a chat. With my parent hat on.

DoctorDonnaNoble · 15/05/2017 05:52

@Vicky1989 No, I think you'll find there are many secondaries when they can use the toilet outside of lessons. If my students ask when I'm explaining activity, I ask if they can wait until I have finished. If it's immediately after break, I ask them to try and make sure it doesn't happen again. A few months ago there was a behaviour issue in the toilets. We were asked to keep a closer eye. I was upfront about this with my students (who also didn't really want to be the people to discover the latest incident) and noted down who was absent (just as I would for students in their music lessons).
There are all manner of reasons why primary students might struggle to hold on for an hour and a half. I'm shocked that the general practice is to just say no!

MaisyPops · 15/05/2017 06:42

holidaysaregreat
I agree that all afternoon for a 5 year old is a long time. I'd have let them go but kept an eye on those who repeatedly don't use breaks/sit drinking loads of water in class.

What I don't agree with is people going all human rights, I'm going to kick off and I WILL BE telling the teacher exactly what I think of them.

I'm much less willing to help someone out who is rude and confrontational than i am if somebody calls up for a polite conversation. I'll gladly help anyone who is polite and reasonable. What's annoying is no matter how many times on teacher threads I (and other teachers) point this out people still seem to think the way to make their point is to be rude, aggressive and suggest people are a danger to children etc.