Teacher wouldn't let DS go to the toilet

[Louise1178]

What are the standard rules for toilet breaks in year 1?

I'm livid with the teacher as yesterday ds 5, wet himself at school. He says when he came in from lunchtime he needed a wee, but the teacher wouldn't let him go, he said he asked again after the first lesson and said he really needed to go, but she refused again. He held on until the end of the day but wet himself on the way to the toilet.
The afternoon runs for 2 and half hours with no afternoon playtime.

Would it be unreasonable to complain?

I let children go if I'm not in the middle of direct teaching. Quite at the teachers who don't.

But this shocked me more than any of the toilet comments:
I would have let him go once the class was settled, eg; the register had been took.

Wtaf?!

Isittheholidaysyet, if your child was in my class, she/he would be able go to the toilet at any time they choose, before, during or after school.
These are young children not adults with fully trained bodily functions.

YANBU I teach teenagers and let them go if they need to. They only get a really short break/lunch break and so it is likely they may occasionally need to go at some point in a lesson. You soon learn who is always asking and who is genuine.

If the OP had been allowed, is the teacher supposed to let him use the loo the next time he doesn't go at lunch or any other child for that matter. I don't think so!

If they only have a short break, by all means quickly go to the toilet. If they have had a substantial period to go to the loo, then sorry you'll have to hold it.

Storynanny I remember my two year old having a tantrum in a shopping centre because I wouldn't let her go to the toilet (we'd only been there half an hour and she'd already visited everyone we passed) so yes I would

What about the child who goes at lunch but needs to go again? Their bladders are smaller than adults thus holding less. Holding in too long can lead to uti's. some children have an over active bladder which means increase seeing. Aside
From uti and diabetes not all frequent urination problems will be diagnosed at the age of 5.

Vicky - you could interact with them like you do about any classroom misbehaviour if you think they're not trying hard enough to make sure they've gone at break. Physical discomfort - and sitting there desperate is bloody torturous - is not an appropriate classroom consequence.

Our lunch break ends at 1-15 and afternoon break is 2-00 is it unrealistic to think most children will manage?

That in your school. There's no break in the pm for ops child, so instead of waiting 45
Minutes had to wait 2:30 hours.

This happened to my DS a year ago, he developed a severe anxiety disorder about it. The school dressed him in girls OE shorts for 4 year olds and he's 7. I was livid! He feared wetting himself for a long time after it, needed to know where closest toilets was and kids picked on him. So teachers, think twice as it can be damaging.

Which is why I said earlier every school has different circumstances so it's no good me saying I usually let my class go if they ask and condemning those teachers who say they never allow children to go during lessons. You can't make judgements without knowing all the facts from both sides.

Catkind

My year 5 lesson after lunch starts at 1:30, they go home at 3:00
Surely a 10 year old can wait an hour a half ?
They also only have an hour and half before morning break, and 2 hours between break and lunch. I don't think that it is a big ask for a year 5 child to wait those time periods for a wee. Yes understandably some year 1 children would struggle, but the OP DS had just returned from lunch.

My point is vicky, that if they have done what they shouldn't and failed to go at lunch time, it is up to you whether the consequence for that is a telling off/house points, or sitting in pain and possibly wetting themselves. I don't think the latter is humane or acceptable in this day and age.

Catkind

A year 5 is different to year 1 granted. I don't think making a 10 year old wait a couple of hours to use loo would be much of a difficulty for them and 99.9% wouldn't wet themselves. In a year or so they will be entering into year 7 and secondary teachers won't let them out during lessons.

I sometimes think English expectation on small children is very unrealistic.
In my country, primary children have breaks between lessons, so longest they need to wait is 45- 50 minutes. And they learn to go to the loo during break quite quickly from the start, since it's quite embarrassing to ask to go during whole class lesson sitting in rows.

I am so glad my ds's school has proper system allowing children to go but not to mess about.

We have breaks between lessons too Irvine so between 45 and 60 mins

It's really important not to develop toileting anxieties and issues, as they can last well into adulthood. As teachers of young children we have so much "power" and it is our duty to make sure we use it correctly. Withholding basic human rights, such as visiting the toilet when they need to, is cruel.
Where is the compassion of these strict teachers? Infant teaching isn't just about learning to read etc.

Yeah, I think mrz's school should be a model school for all the primary.

Sounds like your school/teachers actually care about children, unlike some school/teachers I hear about on MN.

one of the teachers at my dd1 school once refused a girl to go to the loo poor lass wet her self her mother came into school and punched the teacher 😮

but she did have a weak bladder tho

You think it's okay to ask someone to wait 2 hours if they have failed to go at lunchtime and are saying they're desperate? So, you're assuming they're lying, or you're okay with them sitting there in pain for 2 hours?

Not quite year 5 but I was there in year 4 once. Needed to go 5 minutes after lunch break - I had gone in lunch break but needed to go again. It was actually the start of a bug, but I didn't know that at the time of asking. Luckily I had a teacher who was irritated but gave me the benefit of the doubt. Shudder to think of the consequences to my school career if you'd been my teacher vicky. No question at all it would have been a messy accident.

It clearly made a big impression on me to be trusted like that as I still remember the incident. I remember feeling very grown up when I went back in and discreetly told the teacher I needed to go home. And feeling safe with that teacher afterwards, in contrast to the previous teacher who didn't trust us and we didn't trust her back.

I still say no if I think the child is "avoiding" Irvine

ilovesprouts

That is terrible if the girl had a weak bladder, if the teacher knew she should have been allowed. Children without a toileting problem however should only use the loo at break and lunch, not lesson time.

Catkind

If in your situation you had told me you was poorly, I would have let you go.