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gutted for my little boy

123 replies

Bubblesquirt · 18/04/2017 03:51

So he goes to a catholic school is in nursery there and hasnt got in to reception. Absolutely devastated been sat here crying. Hes been given a school 10 min drive away and im due another baby in october. C section, therea no way im gonna be able to get him there. Has anyone appealed and had any luck. Were in manchester area.

OP posts:
Bubblesquirt · 18/04/2017 20:16

Nothing that makes me think ill get it but iv emailed and asked to go on waiting list just incase. Wont be putting unborn child into a nursery school in future πŸ˜‚
Just that he is settled has child minder has friends and it is 5/10 minute walk away.
If i dont get it i know hes going to a decent school just further away. Think lack of sleep made me hysterical this morning πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

OP posts:
Ionacat · 18/04/2017 20:45

I had a section with DD2 and was in hospital a week beforehand on top the other school mums were amazing, so many rallied round to help so DH could get to work rather than take lots of time off. We didn't even ask, the offers flooded in!

HonorBright · 18/04/2017 21:13

Are you a practising Catholic? Which category on the admissions criteria do you feel he qualifies for?

smellyboot · 18/04/2017 21:40

Nursery places have zero bearing on reception places. Most do use school nursery as its cost effective and for siblings in Manchester you know that you will get into the same school. If you are in parish and RC its normally a safe bet too but DC have to be baptised etc Even in the lost over subscribed RC schools, RC in parish get in really. I assume OP that if you are 5-10mins from the original school than you are maybe not RC?

ohtheshameshameshame · 18/04/2017 21:48

Completely irresponsible everyone saying they drive so soon after c section. I spoke with my insurer and you are not insured until 6 weeks or if a doctor writes a letter for sooner.

How on earth could you know if you were able to do an emergency stop. A genuine one. Ridiculous.

ohtheshameshameshame · 18/04/2017 21:49

You can't test an emergency stop. The point is its unexpected and an emergency πŸ™„ give me strength!

Devilishpyjamas · 18/04/2017 21:53

I spoke with my insurer and you are. And a surgeon upthread said there's no 6 week wait and my dr's said if I felt fine I could drive.

You do a pretend emergency stop in your test....

ohtheshameshameshame · 18/04/2017 22:02

Well different insurers must have different rules. I was told by the consultant not to drive for at least six weeks. I wS fed up after four, phoned my insurer and was told absolutely not. Yes you do practice it in your test, not usually when your abdominal muscles have been sliced in half right enough and it still isn't a true emergency stop. If you plowed into someone and it transpired your driving ability had been even slightly impaired by a c section then your insurer would not pay out.

Campfiresmoke · 18/04/2017 22:04

Ohtheshame you could do an emergency stop without an emergency as long as it is safe to do so (nothing behind you). I used to have to practise them when I was learning to drive.
I drove 2 weeks after CS with the agreement of the doctors who said as long as I felt capable of doing an emergency stop it was fine. Everyone is different but if recovery is uneventful I would say most women (not all) would be fine well before 6 weeks. I know OP has said this doesn't apply to her due to underlying problem but just wanted to say my story.
OP are you Catholic?
Nursery usually has no bearing on school places - what were the admission criteria for the RC school and which do you think they have failed to apply? You can only win at appeal if there is something they have done wrong in allocating places. Unfortunately appealing just because you really really want a place won't work.
It sounds as though you are coming round to the idea of your second preference so hopefully that will work out for you.

wickerlampshade · 18/04/2017 22:04

Completely irresponsible everyone saying they drive so soon after c section. I spoke with my insurer and you are not insured until 6 weeks or if a doctor writes a letter for sooner.

my insurer said you can drive when your Dr says you can. I'm a GP, all my GP colleagues, and all my obstetrician friends say at a week or so, go and sit in the car and mimic an emergency stop and if you can do it then you can drive.

are they/we all irresponsible? and you are qualified to overrule that opinion how?

Devilishpyjamas · 18/04/2017 22:04

Surgeon upthread says no muscles are cut in a c-section which is why recovery is quick and doesn't need 6 weeks.

Campfiresmoke · 18/04/2017 22:07

Ohtheshame your insurers would pay out if you had been declared medically fit to drive I.e. If your doctor said it was ok. My insurance said that was fine. How could they say your ability to drive had been impaired by a C section if you were medically fit?

ohtheshameshameshame · 18/04/2017 22:13

How can I possibly overrule an opinion? Hmm I can offer my opinion and that opinion can be different to yours. I feel it is irresponsible. I'm not overruling anyone or anything.

I stand corrected regarding the muscles. I still feel it is major surgery and your driving could be impaired. Yes I think it is irresponsible. I am entitled to think that.

ohtheshameshameshame · 18/04/2017 22:20

And since when did one have to be qualified to offer an opinion on an internet chat forum?

welshweasel · 18/04/2017 22:30

Everyone recovers from surgery at different rates. It would make absolutely no sense whatsoever to have blanket policies in place that say after operation x you can't drive for x weeks. That's why such policies don't actually exist. Same for how long you need off work after an operation. On average most of my patients need a fortnight off after the most common surgery I do. But I've had people back at work after a couple of days and equally some people need three weeks or longer. Calling people irresponsible for getting on with life when they feel able is just ridiculous.

ohtheshameshameshame · 18/04/2017 22:41

Thanks for your opinion. Clearly the policy does exist in at least some places. My consultant said quite clearly 'do not drive for at least six weeks'. I spoke to my insurer after four because I felt good and I was bored and they said I would have to get a letter from my GP.

While you are not offering your patients this information clearly some other surgeons are.

staffy777 · 18/04/2017 22:41

I felt like hell 8 weeks post CS and didn't drive until 8-10 weeks. Yes I had a toddler to get to nursery but we were able to walk. Pushing a heavy buggy wasn't very easy either though...

But this is a temporary situation. You will get through it.

Be open minded about the alternative primary.

thatdearoctopus · 18/04/2017 23:15

I asked my orthopaedic consultant if/when he'd give me the OK to drive again after I'd broken my leg and he said that they won't commit themselves to that. Imagine if he said, "Oh yes, you'll be fine," and then I crashed leaving the hospital? It had to be my decision, presumably in discussion with the insurance company. By the sounds of it, they all vary as to what they'll allow.

CoteDAzur · 19/04/2017 00:15

"I can offer my opinion and that opinion can be different to yours"

With all due respect, you don't have the right to an opinion on a subject you know so little that 2 hours ago you thought abdominal muscles were sliced in half during a CS.

Kudos for your self-confidence there, though, thinking your opinion should have at least the same weight as that of someone who has actually been to medical school and is a practicing doctor Smile

Headofthehive55 · 19/04/2017 04:17

And often Drs offer opinions on to how quickly they think someone will do this and that and are quite quite wrong. I think you can offer your own opinion based on personal experience but obviously it may not be the same as someone else's experience. Driving is so much more than whether you can do an emergency stop! You might not feel comfortable with the seat belt for example or can't twist due to bruising etc.

Devilishpyjamas · 19/04/2017 06:31

And if you couldn't cope with the seat belt you wouldn't then drive. The point was there is no blanket 'you must not drive for 6 weeks' rule. It sounds as if the OP has additional issues that may make driving difficult for some time after the CS - but it was reasonable to reassure her she may well be driving long before 6 weeks - as many on here have done (with approval from their medics and their insurance company).

Devilishpyjamas · 19/04/2017 06:34

The various Dr's on this thread seem consistent in their reply that you don't have to wait 6 weeks.

Obviously no-one in their right mind would drive if they felt they couldn't do so safely - but certainly after my third c section I felt able to drive very quickly (it was anaemia that was more of a problem than the c-section TBH)

ohtheshameshameshame · 19/04/2017 06:51

Cote My opinion has been formed by someone I trust with a medical degree. I am entitled to it. I didn't realise that we could only comment on things we were qualified in.

I stand by the fact it's potentially irresponsible without being cleared by a doctor. Not medically qualified to comment on a random thread but I am medically qualified enough to determine if my abdominal surgery has healed enough to get behind a wheel of a car?

I know people know their own bodies but posters coming on saying 'oh I drive after five days' puts additional pressure on women whose bodies might just not be ready.

Why do so many people think six weeks? Is it mass hysteria? Are we imagining it? While I respect the opinions of the doctors on this thread (and clearly I must bow down to their superior intellect) it is also very clear that many other doctors are giving out contradicting information.

CoteDAzur · 19/04/2017 07:08

I don't believe for a second that "someone with a medical degree" told you that "abdominal muscles have been sliced in half" in CS.

Ignorance is excusable but this insistance that you know stuff when you clearly don't is just silly.

You just found out that you were wrong - CS doesn't involve cutting abdominal muscles, so recovery can be quite quick, depending on the person and her surgeon. Lick your wounds, swallow your pride, and change your mind. There is no shame in that.

ohtheshameshameshame · 19/04/2017 07:17


If you had read the full thread you would see I did that already regarding the abdominal muscles thing.

Did you read my last post? Are you being deliberately obtuse? Where did I say that someone with a medical degree told me that?

I'm sorry you got out of bed on the wrong side today but you can take your argumentative and goady posts elsewhere thanks.

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