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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Teacher row

117 replies

Wedny1 · 03/03/2017 19:12

My 9 year old teacher called my son a disgrace for talking in line am I being over the top but isn't that a bit harsh I've told him I'm not happy and am going to take the matter further

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

llhj · 03/03/2017 21:30

Am I missing something here? I thought to be a disgrace means to lose another's respect. Is there another 'urban dictionary' meaning out there? Why are people so aghast at this term?

missyB1 · 03/03/2017 21:31

OP Your son has certainly disgraced you by getting himself into trouble at school.
You don't need to have words with the teacher, have words with your son instead.

PerspicaciaTick · 03/03/2017 21:34

I think kicking someone in the head is criminal rather than disgraceful.

Bertie345 · 03/03/2017 21:38

Snoring hell 😴😴😴😴😴

EveningShadows · 03/03/2017 21:41

What's the snoring for?

Wow, would love to meet u at parents' evening

Theimpossiblegirl · 03/03/2017 21:42

It's not like she called him a disruptive little shit (of course, I'm not implying that he is, it's just an example of a worse description).

bloodymaria · 03/03/2017 21:43

I think kicking someone in the head is called for being a disgrace I think talking in line is hardly in the same concept

This makes little sense without punctuation, are you saying that kicking someone in the head is a proper reaction to being called a disgrace?

mrsBeverleygoldberg · 03/03/2017 21:43

Yeah Bertie, I'm a qualified teacher too!

Scabetty · 03/03/2017 21:45

Bertie, we know you know you are talking shite. Give up trying to make sense

Feenie · 03/03/2017 21:47

I think she gets that, and is hoping pretending to be asleep will make it go away.

Scabetty · 03/03/2017 21:48

😂😂

mrsBeverleygoldberg · 03/03/2017 21:48

5moreminutes, I do say to the dcs if I need to go Beverley Goldberg on their (school's,) ass at school !
She says that anyone who hurts my baby I will hurt ten fold! Each time I offer they say no!

JenniferYellowHat1980 · 03/03/2017 21:49

Perhaps as a primary teacher of a class who have spent 90% of their time at school with her this year, she does feel that his behaviour is a disgrace to the work she's done with them.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 03/03/2017 21:54

Snoring hell

Are you 5?

coolaschmoola · 03/03/2017 21:54

From the reaction of some people on this thread I'm thinking there is a lack of understanding of the word disgrace. If op's son had already been told to stop talking and carried on then 'disgrace' is the correct term.

Not a wannabe either. Just another teacher who has spent most of the last week teaching older teenagers whose parents regularly undermined their teachers. Their inability to take responsibility for themselves is shameful. I spend much of my time parenting my students - teaching them personal responsibility, how to speak to others and how to manage conflict because every time they haven't like something their parents were straight into school. It really sets them back socially and academically because until they've learnt how to behave appropriately they can't learn.

I feel like I'm on Nethuns!

laurzj82 · 03/03/2017 21:58

Exactly what jam donut said

GallivantingWildebeest · 03/03/2017 22:03

Calm down, op. If you really feel you have to, find out what really happened next week.

But I'd talk to your son about his behaviour and improving it.

I don't think it's that bad that his teacher called him a disgrace. Ffs. Lots of entitled parents on here this eve! Perhaps his behaviour really was disgraceful?

ilovesooty · 03/03/2017 22:04

Parents like Bertie and the OP make me profoundly glad I don't teach any more. It's hardly surprising that they seem to be raising children who can't behave

Crispsheets · 03/03/2017 22:08

Had she called him a fucking disgrace , fair enough. But disgrace? Nothing wrong with that

storynanny · 03/03/2017 22:08

Whether or not the teacher thought his behaviour was disgraceful, it is not an appropriate way of speaking to a 9 year old.
In my opinion that is. I have been a primary teacher for 38 years and never worked for any head who would have wanted his or her staff to speak to a child using that phrase. There are much better ways of correcting behaviour.

OopsDearyMe · 03/03/2017 22:08

Wow suck it up Mum, jeez poor little darling!

The boy is 9 not 3. If you react like this to him being told off, then he's probably a flipping nightmare! If he's doing something wrong then he is a disgrace! What would you prefer some fluffy bunny talk...

Dear God we are all going to hell in a hand cart !!!

AmeliaLeopard · 03/03/2017 22:09

OP, labelling the child instead of the behaviour is poor behaviour management. Teachers are human though, and make mistakes. The vast majority of teachers I know are very good at being in 'teacher mode', but even the best occasionally slip in to their normal selves.

If you think the teacher is generally good and slipped then leaving it is probably best. If you aren't happy to do that, a quiet word 'DS was very upset at being told he was a disgrace' would seem appropriate.

Having a go at the teacher isn't appropriate. In fact, it is almost never appropriate to deliberately berate someone if they make a mistake in their job.

Equally, do deal with DS' behaviour. It isn't an either/or situation. "Yes, DS, I understand you were upset and that makes sense. However, your behaviour up t that point was unacceptable."

Hoppinggreen · 03/03/2017 23:06

To all you lovely teachers on here - if any of you called my 9 year old boy a disgrace and he came home and complained please be reassured that it would be him not you I would be cross with.
Teachers are human beings who put up with plenty of crap from kids who have no boundaries at home due to parents who think that their little darlings can do no wrong. They do make mistakes sometimes and I have actually had to speak to my dc's teachers on 2 occasions but I always made sure of the facts first and , wasn't confrontational and it was over something much more serious than saying my child was a disgrace ( when they were)

VintagePerfumista · 04/03/2017 06:21

Funny how Bertie (before falling asleep) was so interested in this thread she joined MN specially to post on it.

Pleased to see sanity is prevailing though, but I do look forward to hearing the outcome.

"some twats on here" -yep. I imagine that's what they say in the staffroom on such occasions.

QODRestYeMerryGentlemen · 04/03/2017 06:38

"Well really children shouldn't take notice of being told off by teachers, TA's or dinner ladies. Only mummy and daddy are allowed to tell you off darling"

Pretty much word for word what A N Other mum said to her precious DD in front of mine in about yr 2 ...

Her dd got booted after one year of 6th form as she was a disgrace 😉

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