A Valentines disco? For Reception?????

[nearlythree]

The school PTA have organised a Valentines disco - well, two in fact, one for 4-7 year olds and the other for the rest of the school. Apart from the fact that it finishes after dd1's bedtime, I am furious that the school thinks this is appropriate for such young children. I know that Michelle Elliot of Kidscape has spoken out about this trend and I am shocked that dd1's school aren't more clued up. Dh is backing me on this and wants me to see the head about it. Whatever happens dd1 won't be going.

Well at the risk of repeating what others have said, at our primary 'disco' - the girls dress up in fancy frocks and enjoy dancing, the boys run round like mad things getting very excited and yes slide across the floor on their knees!! It's a party - only called a disco because there's a man at the front putting the music on in between entertaining the children. Getting them to dance to silly songs with actions (that I don't know ) like Music Man and Cha Cha Slide (I think). They absolutely love it!!! No adult connotations (sp) whatsoever.

I can sort of understand where you are coming from nearlythree.
I think we do do more grown up things for our children than is strictly necessary. I agree - a teddy bears picnic/fancy dress party would be more my taste too and my dd would think it was magical. She dances with her friends already, so there doesn't seem much more excitement is to be had at a disco.
But we're clearly in the minority here... On balance I will let my dd go to this sort of thing, as I don't want her to feel different to her friends, but I'll make sure there are many opportunities for her to truly enjoy the joy of being a child too... Does that make sense?

Last year DS made a valentine's card for his best mate. (both 5) well they love each other so why not?? Isn't it nice to have a party just about loving people?

Apparantly last year my DD led all the children around the floor marching away to "Is this the way to Amirillo", and DS is a funky dancer has to be peeled off the floor at the end of the night.

do you have any friends in the PTA you could quietly say your concerns to? may be in a joking fashion. i am sure they would be receptive..

I don't this is anything new either or trying to make our children grow up too early. I am not really young, but remember school disco parties from primary school. And believe me, I was in no way an "old" child, anything but TBH.

Blimey. The things that a debate will rage about. Really, it's fine. As many others have said, it will surely be hearts round the hall, perhaps 'wear something red' theme. The girls will giggle and dance, the boys slide across the floor on their knees in their no doubt overpriced trousers. The PTA and helping parents will be stressed up to the eyeballs, the music will be far too loud. End result - kids will have had a fab time. PTA will give themselves a well earned clap on the back for organising a fun event for the kiddies. If you're lucky, nobody will have been sick in the hall. There will be no snogging - not between the reception kiddies at any rate - and all will be well. Wish there was one at our school. Christmas and Year 6 leavers disco is our lot. Our PTA have been somewhat lacking in the disco and other fun events department.

Nearlythree, i really dont think you have anything to worry about. I have three children, the eldest being 7. All of my children have attended discos, their school holds 3-4 a year. The children absolutely love it, the girls hang around in their little groups and the boys run around seeing who can jump the highest or who can skid the furthest! They play games organised by the dj's assistant, things like musical statues, musical bumps etc. We are allowed to stay with our children at the disco, but if you are expected not to then why not volunteer to help at the disco, this will put your mind at rest as you'll be able to see exactly what goes on! Its all harmless fun!!!!

I agree with the others that a "disco" nowadays just means a party. I think that sometimes we are transferring our owon fears of over-sexualisation or growing up too soon onto our kids.

Ds is 6 - and yes, if he is at a dance/party/disco, all he does is run around laike a lunatic- and yes, he does the "sliding on the knees" thing. He's not interested in girls in the slightest.

I think it is great that the kids are having the opportunity to have some fun at the school - it's part of what makes a school an integral part of the community.

I don't know what time it is intended to finish, but it does sound like the PTA were trying to be responsible in having two sessions, one for the younger and one for the older kids.

Our PTA runs a Hallowe'en Party and this year we too split it into Infants (P1 to P3) and then P4-P7. This was partly to allow more kids to come to it, as usually it is over-subscribed. SPlitting it did mean a later night for the older kids (as "thier" party cdid't start until later), but the other positive was that it was an earlier finish for the younger kids (at 7.30).

Although as both dh and I were helping at it, it still meant a late (school) night for ds, as he obviously had to stay until the end - including the clearing up!

So - what is it with boys sliding on knees?????

My DS does this all the time.

So does mine!!! its hilarious!!! almost as if the minute they get free reign of the school hall they do the things teacher wont let them do during PE!!!!

Don't know - it's certainly not anything we taught him at home, nor does he see any pop videos which might have aging rock stars doing the 2air guitar" thing - yet that is exactly what ds is doing.

Must be some sort of playground initiation!

Budababe - had to laugh when I saw your comment: I've been reading this thread and that was the thing that really stood out. DS is 5 and in Reception and I'm pretty sure its what he spends the majority of his free time doing!

Message withdrawn

DS managed to melt holes in his trousers by slidding on his knees at a party/ disco. Peter Kay's sketch on this is so funny .

Agree volunteer to help and then you can see what goes on then you can leave early if you thnk DD is too tired. If you da have concerns it does help to be involved in these things so you can have your say at the planning stage. Personnaly I avoid the PTA like the plague , but I have freinds who are heavily involved in school activities but don't do the PTA thing.

Oh ffs - as if I think anything dodgy would be going on! Do you think I'm mad??? I don't need to be there to have my mind put at rest, I've been to enough kids' parties to know exactly what will happen. Dd1 isn't even 5 - of course I trust her (????) and no, I don't think there will be snogging.

Thanks to those of you who have given balanced views, you have given me something to think about.

To Cod and others who think I'm good for a laugh - I am entitled to have a pov like you are. It is the term 'disco' that bothers me when, for children not yet 5, there are other parties that they enjoy equally. The seven yr olds will have a very different attitude - such as the Britney impression mentioned earlier - and I don't want dd1 to pick up on this. You want the truth? I'm worried it'll steal a bit of the magic away, that the fairy balls and dressing up will no longer be wanted as big girls have discos. And life as a grown-up is shit enough without hurrying it along. You may be annoyed by what I say - fine - but that doesn't give you the right to patronise, belittle or sneer because you disagree. I'm not someone who is cruel to my children, I am just someone with different ideas from yours.

And to think I was worried about the parents at school dumping on me.

Oh, and btw, dd1 regularly makes cards and pictures for her loved ones - including big love hearts - she just doesn't need what has become a tacky commercialised event to make her do so.

I think you are worrying too much about the use of the word DISCO to be honest. It is, after all, just a word, nothing more. To me the word ball seems even more grown up than a disco - maybe as I never went to balls until I was much much older.

I think, TBH, you have to just decide how you feel about it and, as it is an optional activity/event out of school hours, you either decide to let DD go or not. But it seems unfair to try and stop the disco for everyone else who is happy to let their children go to the after school party.

oh dear

Having thought about it I do actually see where you are coming from on this. My DS is 5 and I have avoided him seeing/doing certain things as I don't want him to grow up too quickly. I like children to dress like children - hate seeing children dressed in smaller versions of adult clothes - yuck. The world does seem to want children to grow up far too quickly these days.

I think there will be no harm in suggesting that the party is called a Valentine Party rather than disco. Having read some of the replies here you will be well-armed in advance of possible viewpoints!

For what it's worth, you also need to accept that there will be differences of opinion on something like this, and that's not to say that anyone is sneering or dumping on you. Have you discussed your concerns with the other parents at your school that you mentioned? What's their opinion of it? The majority of people like me, will be wondering what the problem is with a valentines disco for children your dd's age group. The 'snogging' comments weren't serious in any stretch of the imagination, more a reaction to your earlier concerns about 'pairings off'. I'm sure the boys and girls couldn't think of anything worse than being paired off!! I wouldn't worry about the 'magic' being taken away, I'm sure the kids will find an exciting Valentines disco quite magical in itself. I don't mean to sound patronising, but if it's your first experience of school activities, when your child's in Reception, some things can seem like a big thing when really they're not. It's natural to be overprotective too. I remember what I was like when my DD started school (she's in yr 6 now.) I'm not much better now! Honestly, when she's in yr 2 or 3, you'll look back on this and realise there was no need to worry. I'd let her go, she'll have a ball. (No pun intended)

Haven't read the whole thread, but nearlythree last messages make sense to me!