Shocked: sex education in year 1 ?! [angry]

[LlZZlE]

Hi, my little girl is in year one, she was 6 in March.

The school are planning on showing them a video next week that the parents were told was "about the difference between boys and girls" and we were told it was part of the science curriculum. We were asked if we would like to see it,and a few of us went along. WELL! This video is more like sex education. It talks about men and women "using their sex parts to make babies" and it also states that "a girls clitoris and a boys penis sometimes goes hard" and that "it feels nice".

Now, I am far from prudish, and I am open and honest with my child, but I (along with a few Mom's that saw the video) think this is far too much information for children aged 5 & 6. I personally believe this is encouraging the sexualisation of children and I am very angry that when we asked the teacher before seeing the video, we were told categorically that it was not sex education...this is why so few of us went, as the teacher was so nonchalant about it.

May I ask, when did your child start sex ed in school, and do you think this is too soon?

Many thanks.

Zinnher there is nothing weird about teaching children about how their bodies work.

My children knew at 4yo about how tummies processed food, about how lungs work and why it is important to look after them and not smoke. In fact they've been to the local science centre and seen health lungs and damaged lungs in a display.

Would you rather they sat and watched Peppa Pig all day?

In my experience small children are interested in everything it's just a matter of engaging them and presenting the information in an age appropriate way.

Our year 2's will be watching this video next week. I don't have a problem with it - better they learn correct facts than hear random things elsewhere and become scared, embarrassed and confused about the whole thing.

How are other parents reacting to this? Will you be the only parent taking your child out of it? If so, maybe consider how that will make your daughter feel? She will probably wonder why she is one of the few not going and it will probably just increase her curiosity. If school are doing it, i really dont think you can avoid the topic, she will hear things from other kids and will ask you so you'll still have to broach it.

The masturbation bit is definitely year 6. It has caused a stir at our school, but again, these kids are on the verge of secondary school so anyone who thinks they won't hear stuff like that when they're surrounded by hormonal teenagers is kidding themselves. Again, better it is explained calmly and sensibly in my opinion.

Yes Zinnher. She knew all that because she was interested in the human body and had a pregnant mother. She also grew up on a farm and reproduction was a fact of life. She was also interested in a zillion other things. That's 4yo dc for you. They're sponges. I could list hundreds of things she didn't know about that another 4yo might know all about because those things interest them.

DS is 3.10 and 'See Inside Your Body' is his current favourite book and as such, knows all about lungs and the heart and where food/drink goes and how we absorb nutrients. I've read that book enough times to recite it in my sleep. Out of interest, I've just asked him if he knows where babies come from and he said "a sperm and an egg join together and the baby grows inside a womb. That's inside a woman that is.". So, there you go. He's gone back to building a lego fort now.

"Your 4 year old knew all that! The 4 year olds I know don't really care about their bladders and lungs and are not remotely interested in sperm"

Sounds like the 4 year olds you know have already internalised the message that bodies are things we shouldn't ask questions about.

Another yes here Zinher. My 4 yo knows about her heart, lungs, kidneys,etc why would she not? She sees her brother's penis so she has asked about the differences between them (she also sees her dad's penis, my genitals and the genitals of children at school when they all go to the toilet). She has noticed her brother's penis getting hard and asked about that, as well as why there are men's and women's toilets.

"Your 4 year old knew all that! The 4 year olds I know don't really care about their bladders and lungs and are not remotely interested in sperm"

My eldest was most certainly asking all of this at age 3, never mind 4 and we had one of those great Usborne Look inside books so she could see where everything fit together. She knows about periods, sperm and eggs and where babies come from and has done for well over 2 years (she is now 8).

She knows these things because she asked about them, not because she is oversexualised and she is certainly not traumatised from having the information. She was also able to employ this knowledge calmly in school recently when friends began having a breathless and highly ill-informed conversation which included one friend expressing a great deal of (fear based) misinformation about how her body might change in the future. I am proud my daughter had the knowledge to know that what she was hearing was garbage and that she felt confident to come and ask me, using the correct terminology for the body parts. She devoured 2 books from the school library the next day and when finished with them stated 'now when X says xxxx again, I will be able to tell her where she is wrong.' This is EXACTLY why children do need this information at this age. I would FAR rather she receive it from her professional and thoughtful teacher than some other kid on the playground!

Whether you like it or not children will discuss these things on the playground. There will be children who have older brothers and sisters who will tell them things and show them online content. Children need to have calm, age appropriate knowledge. The video is not 'teaching masturbation', it is simply saying that genitals feel nice and change physically when touched: something most here agree their children are already well aware of by this age. This is not encouraging masturbation - I doubt there will be a child in the room who will not have touched themselves there at some point. It is simple, biological fact and I would certainly disagree with the OP that she has been misled and that this is some kind of back door sex education.

I've met hundreds of four year olds who can't point to their ankle or brow never mind talk about bladders and kidneys ... Have they all internalised the message that we don't talk about bodies or are they just normal four year olds?

They generally know that there is a baby in mummy's tummy and that boys and girls are different

I don't see the problem with children Learning these things, my youngest is four and a couple of months ago asked how babies wrre made, she knew they grew in a ladies tummy from an egg, I explained they grew when the egg was joined by a sperm /'seed'. She knows she has eggs and her brothers have seeds and that they are in their balls/scrotum. She calls her privates a vulva, as that is the name for the bit she can see. And that she has two 'holes' one for wee and one for a baby to come out of. She hadn't asked how the seed gets to the egg yet, but when she does I will tell her.

I just talk to all my kids about this stuff in an age appropriate way, natter of fact and simple. They know they can ask us anything and have done, I have had conversations that made me cringe like when ds1 then age nine asked about blow jobs as someone at school had said about them. He was horrified by the idea, I just said that when he was older and in a relationship it might be something they wanted to try but that as with all Sex you must both want to do it and if at any point you change your mind and want to stop that is fine. I said part of the fun of Sex is finding out what you like, and that though it sounds gross to him now he may like it when he is older, or he may not and that is fine too.

Our Year 2s learn the correct words for their genitalia, including clitoris. What makes this inappropriate?

Ive seen the video today there is nothing shocking about it at all. Why are you so shocked. Its a cat lying with kittens and a few illustrations, most of it is really boring. Its life and they will find out about it in the playground if they havent already. It is better for it to be discussed in a proper way with proper language. What is wrong with saying it feels nice. What do you think will happen?

There is nothing to be scared of - they are learning reproduction - you need to think about why you find it so shocking and scary, I can guarantee your daughter wont.

It will make her feel weird being kept in when her peers will see it and talk about it and to be honest if you are so panicked about it you will probably make her squirm. You should read up on it and get to grips with it rather than being hysterical.