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Primary education

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Original poster

Shocked: sex education in year 1 ?! [angry]

111 replies

LlZZlE · 01/07/2015 22:22

Hi, my little girl is in year one, she was 6 in March.

The school are planning on showing them a video next week that the parents were told was "about the difference between boys and girls" and we were told it was part of the science curriculum. We were asked if we would like to see it,and a few of us went along. WELL! This video is more like sex education. It talks about men and women "using their sex parts to make babies" and it also states that "a girls clitoris and a boys penis sometimes goes hard" and that "it feels nice".

Now, I am far from prudish, and I am open and honest with my child, but I (along with a few Mom's that saw the video) think this is far too much information for children aged 5 & 6. I personally believe this is encouraging the sexualisation of children and I am very angry that when we asked the teacher before seeing the video, we were told categorically that it was not sex education...this is why so few of us went, as the teacher was so nonchalant about it. Angry

May I ask, when did your child start sex ed in school, and do you think this is too soon?

Many thanks.

OP posts:
Feenie · 01/07/2015 23:08

Yeees - which states parents may withdraw from SRE, but not biological aspects of human growth and reproduction

That is new - hitherto, was all in SRE and parents could withdraw. Now they cannot withdraw from reproduction aspects of the Science curriculum.

Sensible change.

Feenie · 01/07/2015 23:09

Granted, I should have said the S part was moved, not the R. But I think people got the gist Grin

Kampeki · 01/07/2015 23:25

I'm sure it isn't the "R" part that people are worried about Feenie.

Personally, I'm a fan of open, honest communication with kids about this stuff. The more they know when they're five/six, the more matter of fact they'll be about it when they're bigger - they aren't embarrassed about it at that age. I will never really understand why some parents are so afraid of giving their children information.

My DH grew up overseas without any sex education at all, ever. No information from parents or teachers whatsoever. So he found out about it in other ways. I'd far rather that our daughter learns the facts from a responsible adult...

Hellochicken · 01/07/2015 23:26

I think this is far too much for a 6 year old.

I think I was told too much aged 9 years old in school. If I ever thought about it I was worried and confused (they didnt say anything incorrect I just didn't "get it"). It was years before repeating information sunk in, in secondary school.

There was no need (IMO) for me to understand about sexual intercourse or contraception. I think at 9 years old you should just have information about periods and the most basic of information that parts from a man and a woman together make a baby.

bikeandrun · 01/07/2015 23:42

But what if they ask? my dc have always been very interested in any scientific information about the human body. I think I was the same as a small child, I remember asking my mum in great detail after seeing a picture of animals mating, do humans do the same and how and why etc. She has always been unflappable and told me yes they do, was a bit disappointed when I found out dogs don't get married and raise puppies together though.

Original poster
LlZZlE · 01/07/2015 23:47

Hi everyone, thank you for your responses.

Firstly, can I just point out, I most definitely do not have my wires crossed. My one and only child is in year 1, she has recently turned 6, and she is due to see this video next week. The Head will not tell us on which day they will see it and we were all told last week, it will only be about the differences between boys and girls. So, my first problem is that we have been mislead, and that those parents that took the teachers word for it have no idea how much information their child will be given next week.

I have no problem with my daughter exploring her body, and if any question s arise, I answer as honestly as possible. What I have a problem with is this: I do not feel it is necessary for school to bring it to their attention! My daughter is pretty innocent. Some of the others have older siblings, and are naturally going to have heard or witnessed more. My daughter if fully aware of the differences between boys and girls, and knows that "what's in her pants is hers" that noone (apart from a doctor) should ask to see or touch it. I really have no prudish worries, because I am far from prudish! I just think that bringing it to their attention like this is a bit too much for their age, and that it is encouraging them to become sexual beings as oposed to little children. If my girl says "Mommy, it feels nice when I..." then I would be honest with her, but until then, I would rather it wasn't mentioned by the school.

I have just spoken to my cousin, who is a Deputy Head of another school in the West Midlands, and she is very shocked that this will be shown to year 1 children, and says it is shown to children in KS2.

OP posts:
AliMonkey · 02/07/2015 00:02

Ours got the differences between boys and girls bodies bit in year 1. They get a video every year building on it and I think the bit about it feeling nice was in year 2. I distinctly remember other parents complaining and me saying "your kids will have worked it out already; better that they know its normal". But then parents also complained In year 4 that learning about periods would scare their girls and I was amazed that their kids didn't already know about them - even if contraception meant mum had no periods had they never asked what the bins were in public toilets?!

They got their first hint re how babies were made ("sperm from man, egg from woman") in year 3 but none of the kids ever asked how. In year 5 they got full blown cartoon video of sex and a real life birth.

I feel strongly that sex is for long term relationships and best kept until past teenage years at least but I actually think this drip feed approach from young age is best way to do it.

TheAwfulDaughter · 02/07/2015 01:04

This reply has been deleted

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DarlingDaffodil · 02/07/2015 07:18

Year one Mum here.
Our children just had naming parts of the body using 'doctor' words as part of PSHE learning.
Parents given letter listing all words that would be used [I blanched at vulva and some others] however gave permission for son to attend. Some parents did not sign permission slip and withdrew their children.
I would not be happy with that video op for my 5 year old.

mrsdavidbowie · 02/07/2015 07:26

Why would you blanch at vulva?
Its the correct word!
Do you call fingers " wigglies" or knees "knobblies"?

You are thinking of parts of the body as an adult . Children don't. They will accept the proper terminology when presented in a no nonsense way, which schools will do.
I heard a parent say she didn't want her year five child to know she had a clitoris.
Dear god.

ExpressNigel · 02/07/2015 07:28

I would not have a problem with this. I have always been careful to teach sex is to do with pleasure and only occasionally to do with making babies. Why wouldn't you want your child to know that? I don't get all the panic.

Superexcited · 02/07/2015 07:32

I wouldn't be unhappy with the video.
The school said they would be teaching about the differences between girls and boys and one of those differences is that penises go hard and get bigger and the clitoris can also go hard.

I think sex education as early as possible is crucial given that some children are victims of sexual abuse and need to be able to know that it is wrong. Not everyone has parents who can teach them about their bodies being private and not allowing others to touch them.

As for making babies: plenty of six year olds ask that question when somebody they know is pregnant and not all parents feel comfortable answering the question.

mrz · 02/07/2015 07:41

"Sex and relationship education (SRE) is compulsory from age 11 onwards. It involves teaching children about reproduction, sexuality and sexual health. It doesn’t promote early sexual activity or any particular sexual orientation.
Some parts of sex and relationship education are compulsory - these are part of the national curriculum for science. Parents can withdraw their children from all other parts of sex and relationship education if they want."

As people have said the video isn't aimed at Y1 where children are only expected to name the basic parts of the human body and the senses associated with them.

claraschu · 02/07/2015 07:44

It sounds fine to me.

All you horrified parents, are you aware that the UK has one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates in Europe? Countries with low pregnancy rates, such as Holland, have MUCH more comprehensive sex education from a young age, and a much more open attitude towards sex.

TeenAndTween · 02/07/2015 07:46

Better a bit early than too late imo.

DD year 5 has just had next instalment of SRE. Apparently some kids still thought babies came out of their mother's tummy buttons....

I know of one child at least who started periods in y4.

They aren't sexualising, they are doing the Naming of Parts in a matter of fact way, just as they would name other bits of the body. The kids won't think of it as sexual unless you make a thing of it imo.

OP - suggest you go back to the school and that you ask for clarification that the makers of the video aimed it at 5/6 year olds. Just in case the school have made an error, and to put your mind at rest. Also, have they used video before without issue?

ss412zx · 02/07/2015 07:48

I wouldn't be too fussed either way, whether it was taught then or in a few years.

What I find a bit Hmm is that sex ed is so often based taught through a video, as if either the teacher cannot be trusted to teach sex ed (appropriately, without blushing, idk?).

MrsKCastle · 02/07/2015 07:48

I'd be happy for my DDs to watch that video at that age. I would like them to come to view sex as just another natural and normal part of being a human. I'd see it as no different from viewing a video about their digestive system or their heart.

mrsmortis · 02/07/2015 09:25

While I don't necessarily have a problem with the contents of the video (it's hard to be sure without actually having see it), I would be concerned about the school providing me with inaccurate or misleading information about something like this. Or about anything that they were teaching my children really. I think that's a far more important point than the actual content of the video.

Theas18 · 02/07/2015 09:49

Knowledge is power remember that. Better sex ed leads to less teen pregnancies etc the Dutch stats prove this.

Telling them thinks before they start getting embarrassed about it is ideal. Giving them the vocabulary to express if things aren't feeling right eg " I have a sore penis it's a bit red" has got to be a good thing. I also assume there is a great deal of safeguarding stuff as well in there- again having the vocab to express any inappropriate touching etc and knowing " it feels good if I touch my genitals" probably should include " and I am the only one who is allowed to unless Mummy says it's OK at the doctors" sort of thing.

musicinspring1 · 02/07/2015 09:54

If it's the video with two children and cats in it (channel 4 I think?) then it is shown in year 3 in our school.

ReallyTired · 02/07/2015 12:03

As far as I know my little girl has doing nothing more at school than learn the correct terms. I am pleased that children are being taught the correct words for their genitils. Just think if a little girl said to a teacher "Fred has touch my ... (some slang word used by people from India)" and the teacher could not stop the child abuse because she did not what the little girl was talking about.

Knowledge is power. It is really hard to have a mature consversation with a thirteen year old about sex. My son just turns very giggly and goes bright red. Its better to give children the information when they are less embrassed and more likely to listen.

PatriciaHolm · 02/07/2015 12:08

Pretty sure ours did that about yr3...Yr 1 was more about how we grow (with shots of baby rabbits if I remember). Yr 4 was puberty/hair/periods, Yr 5 was cartoon sex and giving birth! Haven't had Yr 6 yet. It sounds as if they are doing the video a bit early.

coreyp · 02/07/2015 12:56

Can you find the video on Youtube, LIZZIE? I imagine it must be there. It sounds a bit explicit, but tbh...

It talks about men and women "using their sex parts to make babies"

This is factually true and if you don't tell children the truth then they make up quite bizarre & unhealthy stuff.

it also states that "a girls clitoris and a boys penis sometimes goes hard" and that "it feels nice".

If you're one of those boys or girls, or you've seen your little brother with a woody (usually running to loo), and you don't know how to talk about it with your parents, it's great to hear a message that it's normal body stuff & nothing bizarre or to worry about.

Sexualising children would be a video that said children should be getting ready to use their sex parts, perhaps to make babies. Did the video say that?

Elsashmelsa · 02/07/2015 13:46

We had a letter home at the end of last week saying that they will be showing 4 videos per age group which are supported by Channel 4 (apparently).

DD (also Y1 - was 6 in June) watched the exact same video as the OP's DD. It is definitely aimed for the right age group (according to the programme listing) and today they are watching the second in the series which is 'Where babies come from'. It apparently will show a woman giving birth.

I only found out about the specifics of the video because my DD's friend (Y2) watched the same one and the Mum came around last night and said that they were told about Penis, Vagina and Clitoris.

DD merely came home saying that did we know that boys and girls are different. When I asked what she'd learned, she said that some children have freckles and some don't!!! Clearly she'd missed the main point...

Booboostoo · 02/07/2015 14:18

It wouldn't bother me. My DD just turned 4 and knows all this already.