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Original poster

Shocked: sex education in year 1 ?! [angry]

111 replies

LlZZlE · 01/07/2015 22:22

Hi, my little girl is in year one, she was 6 in March.

The school are planning on showing them a video next week that the parents were told was "about the difference between boys and girls" and we were told it was part of the science curriculum. We were asked if we would like to see it,and a few of us went along. WELL! This video is more like sex education. It talks about men and women "using their sex parts to make babies" and it also states that "a girls clitoris and a boys penis sometimes goes hard" and that "it feels nice".

Now, I am far from prudish, and I am open and honest with my child, but I (along with a few Mom's that saw the video) think this is far too much information for children aged 5 & 6. I personally believe this is encouraging the sexualisation of children and I am very angry that when we asked the teacher before seeing the video, we were told categorically that it was not sex education...this is why so few of us went, as the teacher was so nonchalant about it. Angry

May I ask, when did your child start sex ed in school, and do you think this is too soon?

Many thanks.

OP posts:
Madratlady · 02/07/2015 14:50

Sounds ok to me, there's nothing wrong with knowing the correct terms for body parts or that those parts are involved in the making of babies. I imagine most 6 year olds have figured out that those bits can feel nice too. Unless they are going into details about the act of sex itself then I don't see the problem.

WombatStewForTea · 02/07/2015 17:10

I know the exact video you're referring to. It is part of the channel 4 living and growing series. And it definitely is aimed at ks1! It's quite old and from before the new regulations came in. It is also still the best resource I've come across for teaching SRE!
That being said, we use that video with year 3 and year 4. Our parents kicked off this year because they didn't want their child to know they had a clitoris. Problem is that as adults you look at it from a sexual perspective. For the Kids it's just a body part! No different from saying you have an elbow or ear lobe!!
I'm of the view point of the earlier the better when it comes to sex ed!!

attheendoftheday · 02/07/2015 18:28

I honestly can't see why teaching something factually accurate upsets people so much. My four year old knows all of that!

I think knowledge about your own body prevents early sexualisation rather than encouraging it.

I actually like the fact it talks about the clitoris alongside the penis, I don't want to perpetuate the myth that sex is all about men and for their benefit alone.

StarlightMcKenzee · 02/07/2015 22:26

' There is no longer an option to withdraw your child.'

Whaaaaaat? Not even from the videos?
There better bloody be!

Mopmay · 02/07/2015 23:14

Id rather they did it really early. If they all know it from then, far less of an issue come year 5-6! It's natural and I don't see the point in not telling them ?

Tigsley2 · 03/07/2015 00:19

I suspect this is the Channel 4 video that was 'recalled' . .. as a school you had to ask for the 'new version' .. I chose to remove DD from the session ..

it was full on.. and personally I don't feel a 6 year old does need to know the anatomical terms - or that it is 'pleasurable'.. not at 6! She is still a child -

Here is a link explaining the main differences..
www.spuc.org.uk/campaigns/safeatschool/livingandgrowingalternative

BeaLola · 03/07/2015 00:41

MyDS had this last year in year 1. His school had the version that didn't mention clitoris and there were a couple of other words/ phrases that were removed. I think it shows a cat giving birth ? He was very unphased by it. He is due to see the year 2 video next week. We asked to see it - purely because the permission letter talked about the topics it covers eg family resemblance, family tree etc . Our DS is adopted (which he knows) but I wanted to know what it was going to say so that I could use same/similar terminology. I have chatted to his lovely teacher about it. I am more concerned that he may feel "different" to his friends but in an unhappy way . To date he is really settled with us and doing well and happy.

My DF last year whose daughter was in DS class was horrified that I had told my DS that girls had vaginas .... Apparently I should have told him they were called noo noos. !

gallicgirl · 03/07/2015 09:27

I understand that people want to protect their children from sexual knowledge but why don't people want their children to know about their body? If that child were ever molested she would have to explain she was touched on her noonoo and how is that going to sound to the police or courts?
I know of an almost 10 year old whose mother has told her babies are a gift from God and are cut out of mummies tummy in hospital. I respect the mother's right to tell her that but blimey , she's going to be confused in sex ed.

gallicgirl · 03/07/2015 09:32

That spuc 'fact' sheet has some very dubious claims.

AuntieStella · 03/07/2015 09:41

" If that child were ever molested she would have to explain she was touched on her noonoo and how is that going to sound to the police or courts?"

I don't think that's going to matter. NSPCC has an intermittently appearing but long running TV ad campaign along the lines of "it doesn't matter what you call it, just tell someone".

Also, there is an important point about which resources for which age group.

I remember a thread here, which started much like this one, with lots of people telling that OP that she was BU (much like this thread). But, then it was pointed out that the video was one of the FPA (I think) series, and they had shown the younger primary children materials intended for top middle and start of secondary schools.

The tone of the thread changed a bit.

It is possible to both firmly support SRE, and also expect it to be well taught and age-appropriate.

OP hasn't specified which video it is. So yes, it might be inappropriate. Or might not.

BarbarianMum · 03/07/2015 11:01

Your daughter is "pretty innocent"

Does that mean she doesn't know that boys have willies? Or that mummies and daddies make babies together? Or that it feels nice if she touches herself between the legs?

Not sure that knowing any of that would make her less innocent. And I think there is a big difference b/w being aware of your own body and how babies are made (this is biology) and sexualisation of children.

Anyway, withdraw her if you like but I'd have been quite horrified if my sons hadn't known all that at 6 (actually they may not have known about the clitoris) - it isn't dirty, you know.

StarlightMcKenzee · 03/07/2015 14:30

Okay, so THIS is I presume a part of what will be shown. I understand my daughter will be shown this appalling reinforcement of misogyny should I consent, which I will not.

If you're going to teach about the differences between girls and boys you must be careful to ensure it also educates to both, equality.

I care a lot less about the sex video which I have also seen. It seems a lot more equal.

Seryph · 03/07/2015 16:18

Starlight - That didn't actually seem too awful to me. I don't agree with women labouring on their backs if it can be avoided, just because it makes the whole thing more difficult, but the vast majority of women in the UK do still labour like that. Often with much more intervention than a touch of gas&air.
There wasn't any screaming, or male doctors holding the woman down and forcing forceps on her. It was very calm and perfectly normal.

plantsitter · 03/07/2015 17:06

Starlight can you say what it was that offended you in that clip? I didn't think it was too bad.

Apart from the dad's jacket, which I definitely don't want my 6 year old to be forced to watch at school where she should feel safe.

titchy · 03/07/2015 17:33

Maybe there should have been a male midwife!

WombatStewForTea · 03/07/2015 17:44

That clip is different to the one the OP is talking about. It's the same 'series' but a completely different unit and designed for a completely different age range!

Roobo · 03/07/2015 17:46

This sounds exactly like the video we show to our year 2.

The parents are generally all fine with the video, until you get to the word 'clitorus' then everyone freaks out. People are very uncomfortable naming female sex parts.

Your school seems to be going about it all very strangely though op. I'd withdraw on that alone.

StarlightMcKenzee · 03/07/2015 19:42

Well the clip I posted shouldn't be shown to ANY age.

'but the vast majority of women in the UK do still labour like that'

because our girls are set up to expect it, with the default being that a woman's body cannot be trusted to do what it is designed for without a cheerleading team all around her whilst she surrenders herself stranded-beetle style with nothing more than something to suck on (sold as pain relief which it isn't) to take herself away from the humiliation

It's irresponsible for figures in authority to show that kind of propaganda to children who will most likely embed those pictures and use them to shape their expectations.

titchy · 03/07/2015 19:57

Not sure the father and one midwife is a cheerleading team.... And what else could have been shown that wouldn't frighten them?

TRexingInAsda · 03/07/2015 21:07

My 5 and 2 year olds know the difference between girls and bys is that boys have a winky and girls have girl bits. My 2 year old knows if you play with your winky it goes big - he says it and demonstrates quite often. I think it's the word clitoris that people are reacting to. It does seem a bit grown up, but if we're happy for our boys to be discovering they can play with their bits, then we should be happy for our girls to do the same, shouldn't we? They probably know the stuff in the video already, they just don't know the name, and they don't know that it's ok and everybody does it - and they should know that.

bikeandrun · 03/07/2015 22:57

Starlight was it misogyny when the paramedics gave my DD gas and air when she had a open fracture of her arm, wtf? seemed like pretty effective pain relief to me. Nothing wrong with that film.

StarlightMcKenzee · 04/07/2015 00:10

What? Where have I said g & a was mysogynistic? I just said it wasn't pain relief, and it isn't. Doesn't mean it didn't help your dd with her fracture though.

titchy · 04/07/2015 00:19

I think posters are just trying to work out exactly what was mysoginistic about that clip starlight... I can't see it but am happy to admit I might be looking at it wrong.

Original poster
LlZZlE · 04/07/2015 02:48

By "my daughter being pretty innocent" I mean, she is happy watching CBeebies, she doesn't watch music videos, or teen shows (unlike a few in her class). Of course she knows that boys have a penis...I said innocent not sheltered!
I have actually been in touch with my cousin who is a deputy head, and she's done a bit of digging for me. The Child Protection lead and the executive head in her school are horrified. They think they are in breach of position of trust and it sounds like this is a Y6 video. They thought it very dangerous to tell children that it was nice feeling when sex organs are hard as it will cause experimentation before the child is old enough to cope with it. They suggest I should go to the authority and tell them my concerns and she assured me that I am not alone in thinking it inappropriate. Now, before any of you jump down my throat, this is what the professionals WITHIN a school think, and I am posting this information for those who, like me, are concerned about whether it is age appropriate. Clearly, this is aimed at much older children, and I fully intend to seek further advice from the relevant authorities. This doesn't mean to say that I don't feel sex ed is important, or that I will wrap my daughter in cotton wool, and I certainly will NOT be teaching her that it's "dirty", as someone suggested...not once have I said any of it was dirty, please, do not put words in my mouth!!!

OP posts:
mrsdavidbowie · 04/07/2015 05:38

Have you actually spoken to your school directly about this? Aoologies if you said further up the thread...

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