Advice please on delayed school entry for summer born. Has anyone done it?

[PetaPipa]

I am not sure whether my dd should start school at the beginning of reception or delay one, two or even three terms. She has a late July birthday so is very young in the year, but is fairly mature. I love her nursery and she is really happy there - part of me would like her to stay there longer and grow in confidence and to just enjoy being a preschooler for longer. However, on the other hand, I am very concerned that delaying her start in school could affect her socially. So, I'm looking for advice!
If you delayed your child's entry to school do you regret it, or would you do it again? Why?
Are there any parents of summer borns who wish they had delayed entry to reception? Why?
Thanks in advance for any replies!

Have you checked that the nursery would keep her? Quite a few won't.

Hi, yes, they would definitely keep her. In fact they positively encourage parents to delay entry.

I have a summer born and I DIDN'T delay, and I don't regret it one bit.

DS is in Yr 1 now, and I can't imagine what it would be like trying to catch up if he hadn't been there for Yr R. In Yr R they spend a lot of time playing, and gradually getting them used to more structured activities. To go straight from nursery to a more structured day, whether it be Yr 1 or late Yr R would be very difficult for a child, particular one that is younger than everyone else, because regardless of when they start, they will STILL be younger than everyone else.

For the same reasons as pinto we decided against delaying too (Aug born twins) and don't regret it. They are doing well and the teachers have always said you wouldn't know they were youngest in class.

DD2 is summer born. I won't be delaying entry. Having been through reception with DD1 I think they would find it really hard to join in term 3.

Thanks Pintof, that's good to know that you don't regret it. I'm worried whichever decision I make will be wrong! but I do think really it will be better for her to start at the beginning with everyone else. I think I am just sad that she will only get three terms in the nursery that she loves so much. I am being over-dramatic but I feel as if she is missing out on a year of childhood. I think I need to get over that and then I will be fine! Sorry. Just venting really.

Are you on Facebook? Join the group
"Flexible School Admissions for Summer Borns" Lots of experts and you can look up success stories from your LEA (it's a postcode lottery some are very receptive others incredibly opposed)

There's actually a meeting in parliament to discuss it on Wednesday so hopefully things will be clearer then but the upshot is:

The new guide lines from the DfE state that all children can delay starting school until 5 and summer borns can apply to start in reception rather than yr1. The LEA (or admissions authority for the school if not LEA) have to listen to your request and take into account the best interest of your child, you should not have to produce professional evidence for your application to be considered. It is illegal for them to have a blanket "no" policy. You will need the backing of the head teacher possible schools your child might attend. If your application to defer is accepted they are then have to give you equal priority to kids in the "correct" school year during the admissions process for each school (previously they tried to dissuade you by saying you'd be bottom of the pile). You would the withdraw your application for this year and apply again next year. If it's rejected you have the option of attending part time or delaying but missing out on all or part of reception.

In practise at present some LEAs (e.g Hampshire) seem to often grant the request based on parental opinion that it's in the best interest of the child. Others (e.g. Kent) almost always refuse even when a child has SEN or was extremely premature. You should also contact possible secondaries to make sure your child would be able to "continue their deceleration" i.e. not be forced to miss year 7 which occasionally has happened in the past.

If you wish to have your voice heard before the meeting on Wednesday email:
[email protected] with #startingschool in the subject to explain why you'd like the opportunity to delay your child's start to school without missing out on Reception.

But definitely join the Facebook group, lots of experience on a local and national level.

There are also lots of people on that group who have kids who have delayed a term or two, gone part time etc. Or ended up not delaying despite originally wanting to so it's a great place to go for advice.

Yes, I did with ds1 but think it was different then.
He is August born and started in reception the following september when he was 5.1, not sure if you could do that now though.

Thanks Two, that's really helpful. I'll take a look!

I have an August born DS and didn't delay and he has been fine - but he is quite sociable and outgoing and loved nursery.

I work in a Reception class and think it would be very hard for one child to start a term or two later than all the others - both socially and academically they would have so much catching up to do.

August born DS currently in reception.

We thought about deferring entry, but in the end didn't.

Partially I do regret not deferring.

DS is academically able and would have probably learned at least as much 'academic' stuff at home with me/at his great Montessori nursery as he is learning at school. Academically, it would have been no problem for him to start later. If not an advantage. But academically he is ok at school too.

Socially it has been very hard. It has been taking everything out of him. E.g. he strongly dislikes school because he is slow at lunch and ends up having the bigger kids (next shift) sitting with him after all his mates have left. He very much wishes he could stay at home. I am quite distressed that at 4.6 he already dislikes school.

Emotionally it has been brutal. He was very confident and mature for his age in many ways before starting school, but now he has to fight for attention all the time, being one of thirty. I feel he is just to young for that. And it has had effects: He has stopped wanting to tell everyone about everything; he doesn't say hardly anything anymore. It feels as if he has stopped believing that he is worth anyone's attention. And has developed totally untypical behaviours which to me are clear signs that he is struggling with lack of attention.

The time outside of school is, sadly, very very short (get home-read-half hour playing alone while I make supper-suppertime-bedtime) and with a new sibling at home as well, it is not really possible to make up for all that by giving him more attention at home.

Yes it would have been hard for him to start school later, as well. But he might have been more 'ready' for it. I don't think making someone start something earlier will help them if they are simply not developmentally ready for it. He would have had similar struggles if he had only started in April but he would have been 8 months older and all that more mature and perhaps more able to deal with these things. Rather than struggling through two miserable terms of reception which hasn't done anything except teach him to dislike school. It most certainly hasn't taught him how to deal with no longer being the centre of attention. Apart from making him unhappy. It hasn't taught him how to eat faster. But he has learned to hate lunchtime. Etc.

I did, delayed til Easter for my Summer born, so he had a term of reception. He has some SN though, which means he is even less mature than his peers. Started part time too, going full time in Y1. Nursery were great, happy to have him until he started school.

Meita your sadness really comes accross in your post. ((Hugs)) to you and your DS. You made what you thought was the best decision.

My summer born (very end of June) DS is in Year 3 now and I honestly don't think it would've made any difference if he'd started one term later or even two. A lot of those with summer born children had the option of picking their child up at lunchtime until the new half term- is this an option for you?

DS was very prem so should be in the year below. He was/is slow with physical tasks (which included toilet training, dressing, use of cutlery etc). I have been delighted with how he has coped. Remember, there is a truly massive range of abilities (in all things) in every year group. However, if I had a prem with social, physical and learning delay I would fight for them to be put in their correct year.

DD is a mid-July child and I didn't even think about it. I found it vital that she is not left behind in nursery and also I didn't want her to play catch-up.

She is average but this is part because she has suspected ADD (we are currently in assessing-state). She can do a lot better but I think this is part of each child, not necessarily because she/he is a winter/summer child. I know very capable Summer ones and Autumn ones being trailing behind.

In the past teacher got around 20-30 children each January so they got a whole new set to start teaching but with just 1-2 I think there is no time or resources to help.

If you delay I would check how much your pre-school is doing for these children. DD's nursery wouldn't touch phonics or simple maths so we would have had to do this at home. The Reception exceptions are a lot higher now, check the new curriculum carefully and make sure the pre-school knows about it.

I would be interested to know why your pre-school is encouraging parents to delay, is this a general approach or just for some parents. As I said not every Summer child would necessarily benefit.

Have you actually looked at the school? Because Reception is usually very much an extension of Nursery.

You may have to jump to the correct year group at some time, and if she goes in late she will be a new girl in an environment where everyone else has formed friendship groups and got used to how school works.

Hi all, thanks so much for all the replies. Meita, I'm so sorry to hear your son is not enjoying school. I wonder if he could do some half days to spend some more time at home? Has anyone any experience of doing this in reception?
Dd's nursery is Montessori so they do a lot of phonics and numeracy work - definitely as much as she would do in reception and possibly more as there is more one to one attention. I'm not really concerned too much about the academic side - she is no genius but she's bright and would get on fine either way. I'm mainly worried about the social side really. I want her to start with her peers to make friends but concerned she's going to find it very stressful and tiring, which is why I'm now wondering whether she could do a half day of two a week.
I'm not sure exactly why they encourage delayed entry but I think they feel that 4 is too young to start school. I think it is part of the Montessori philosophy. however they don't put any undue pressure on parents to do so and I feel free to make my own choice, I am just finding it really hard!

Are her friends from nursery going to be starting school in September? If they're a big part of what she loves about nursery and they go without her, she might feel left behind. My DS is March-born but quite old for his age and played with some slightly older boys in nursery, and when they all left for 'big school' ahead of him he was absolutely distraught and took a long time to settle back into the nursery environment.

Cynical head...delayed entry = more money for them.

Although as a disclaimer my one and only experience of a Montessori school was appalling - clearly run for money and profit. Yes all the boxes were ticked with the Montessori philosophy - but I was gutted that the "get the numbers on the register/get them in the door mentality" shone through quite so strongly. Hated it. Did not go back after one or two taster/trial sessions.

Good point Spider, I expect most of them are, but it's hard to know how close she is to them. although she's been there since September she still apparently does a lot of standing on the edge watching and only very rarely gets involved in games. This is why I'm so concerned about her social abilities and I'm worried that she'll be completely overwhelmed in a school playground. One to one she can play brilliantly with another child - long role-play games, but groups seem to be tricky for her. I feel that being at nursery longer might develop her confidence with this but I get the point that she will still have to move at some point and may have missed out on making friends.

Oh and very young/relaxed about maturing DS was a June baby - I was really worried. He was fine. Reception teachers are generally aware that developmentally they probably have a 2 year range of children iyswim. Calender wise it may be 12 months but in reality you will have your quick to mature September borns who may well be on a par with Y1s and relaxed about maturing August borns who are potentially still at some nursery level. They will adjust and adapt and nurture accordingly.

School playground wise reception often have a separate outside space to use. In addition reception classes often have comfy quiet places they can escape to if overwhelmed (would sometimes come to pick DS up and find him waking up from a catnap on a pile of cushions).

Thanks MyFirstName, that is reassuring!