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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Primary education

Oh, God - she has brought home...

95 replies

UnquietDad · 22/09/2006 15:54

... the s*dding "Class Teddy".

I thought we'd left this behind in nursery. So now we've got to make up some exciting things that she and Teddy did this weekend. And we were going to have a quiet one. She can't really write "Teddy and I sat and watched Cbeebies while Mummy did her marking and Daddy read the Guardian", can she?

Why couldn't we have had him two weeks ago, when her grandparents came to visit and we went swimming? Aaaaaaaagh.

And I suppose we've got to try and match - or outdo - what's already in the book. Well, the last child to have had him seems to have been basically illiterate, but the one before is pretty good.

Oh, joy.

OP posts:

Report

Blu · 22/09/2006 16:03

I'm dreading this, as class-genius-and-conscientious-mum has set a standard with a full multi-media collage of Teddy's sodding weekend - photoshopped photo-story, fabric collage, soundtrack...

BettySpaghetti · 22/09/2006 16:03

"Teddy didn't feel very well at the weekend" (accompanied by a photo of comatose Teddy surrounded by empty wine bottles, beer cans, over-flowing ashtrays and half-dressed Barbies etc).

Rhubarb · 22/09/2006 16:04

Just make summat up!

Teddy accesses daddy's porn on the pc.
Teddy named in divorce papers!

SoupDragon · 22/09/2006 16:04

Shame it's not firework time - you could have launched him into space tied to a rocket.

SoupDragon · 22/09/2006 16:05

I think we need a Mumsnet Class Bear you know.

UnquietDad · 22/09/2006 16:07

Hmm, a theme is emerging here.

Teddy examines the furnishings and debates if his host family is middle-class...
Teddy goes shopping for Boden...
Teddy helps fill in the school preference form...
Teddy drives the 4x4...

I think you'd all better not comment on the strapping-him-to-fireworks bit.

OP posts:

AvaLou · 22/09/2006 16:07

She may just use her imagination and come up with some great stuff. When I was in primary schol I wrote in my weekend news book that I had been a bridesmaid, complete with illustrations. The teacher got suspicious when this happened for four weeks running.LOL

badkarma · 22/09/2006 16:09

We strapped teddy to a rocket and sent him into lebanon. We also packed him a lunch, he had Greggs sausage rolls and fruitshoot, he should be fine..

badkarma · 22/09/2006 16:10

OOps I forgot

UnquietDad · 22/09/2006 16:10

8:01 Teddy was woken up
8:02 Teddy had his milk
8:03 Teddy was burped
8:04 Teddy was put down again for precisely one hour

OP posts:

badkarma · 22/09/2006 16:11

LMAO... Looking forward to getting the class mouse home now

frumpygrumpy · 22/09/2006 16:17

How about Teddy was extremely cheeky and made us all cross. He was shown the naughty cupboard and by Sunday he was slighly better behaved. He stank to high heaven though so we bunged him in the washine machine and then he hung on the line til twilight came. He tried it on with one of daddies slippers and I think he should be confined to barracks from now on.

I bloody hate teddy home from nursery/school. One of the parents at ours took the smelly little hairy thing on a bloody speedboat on loch lomond. I could only boast fish and chips from the local . Why are they always ugly teddies and smelly?

UnquietDad · 22/09/2006 16:20

"Teddy kept getting out of bed, hitting me and screaming, and we had to tell him this was not asseptable (sic). He went to stand on the naughty step."

OP posts:

BettySpaghetti · 22/09/2006 16:22

"Teddy spends the weekend getting rogered senseless by the pet rabbit"

Blu · 22/09/2006 16:30

Actually, Frumpy, we have 'fluffy' dauntingly pristine cream dog.

Mercy · 22/09/2006 16:37

Class Teddy, Red cards, Golden Time?? Have never heard of any of these things!

rofl at this thread though!

batters · 22/09/2006 17:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moondog · 22/09/2006 17:05

lol
I did a cross dressing teddy once.

We had him three times and on one of those occasions,took him to Turkey with us (where we spent the entire month panicking about losing him)

I have to admit it got completely out of hand.I fashioned an entire book of Anatolian exploits for said bear.
He went to view Mt Ararat,learnt how to bake bread in the village,conversed with headscarved ladies,enjoyed a Turkish BBQ in the park,hung out with Kurdish kids,waved farewell form the aircraft steps and much much more.

They bloody loved it at school!

SoupDragon · 22/09/2006 18:16

How the $$$$ do you drop a wardrobe on a gerbil??

ScummyMummy · 22/09/2006 18:22

yeah pamina- explanation please. Smacks of gerbil baiting to me. Wardrobe v gerbil sounds like a most unfair fight...

CalifornifamousFanjo · 22/09/2006 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

batters · 22/09/2006 19:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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SoupDragon · 22/09/2006 20:01

frumpygrumpy · 22/09/2006 20:02

ROFL

But of course

morningpaper · 22/09/2006 20:02

This happened to me. I took photos of:

Teddy in the Barbie car with two topless Barbies and some beer

Teddy in the highchair with the baby and she chewed his ear

Teddy grating carrots

Teddy having a ride in the tumble drier

Teddy tied to a chair leg with string

The diary was filled with stories about Daddy drinking whisky and Nanna chain smoking all weekend (all true actually).

Nursery never said anything.

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