Letter for being late at school

[MsMarshmallow]

Little one brought a letter home from school today. Apparently she has been late 10 times since the beginning of the school year (Code - L: late arrival before the register has closed) and now they are asking for the reasons.

To be honest, there is no especial reason! Most of the days we just missed the gate for a couple of minutes because [insert reason here]. Maybe one day she was crying because X or I had to stop to tie up my shoe lace or we forgot her book bag and had to go back... who knows! FGS we are talking about being 2-minutes-late! Oh yes, the rest of the days we were on time, phew! ;)

Anyway, what I would like to know is: is this a normal procedure? What will happen if I don't reply to them? And what otherwise, should I make up the reasons for each day (since I don't remember)?

Thanks for reading and for your advice, if you have any.

Your DC should leave in enough time that any little problems will make you on time, and you usually arrive early.

What would your boss say if you were late 10 times without a decent reason?

We were spectacularly late once after ds had a nosebleed that wouldn't stop and necessitated a whole change of clothes. We were also 10 minutes late another time when the baby sort of violently exploded out of both ends literally as we were going out the door and both she and I were covered in it (she was in a sling). I had to sign in, grovel and I was mortified even though we had good reason. Oh and in the first term we were late because ds refused to go and I dragged him kicking and screaming and partially dressed (with baby in a buggy) onto a bus so he couldn't escape. It took a while because the little bugger kept trying to run away.

Consistently late by 2 mins means you're not leaving enough contingency time.

That said I know who will be late each morning and for pick up because I see them as I walk home. One lives less than ten mins walk away and one lives next to the school. Do you live close by op? I'd lay money on it.

The fact that the OP has disappeared when faced with a critical reaction to her attitude says it all really.
There are people who when confronted with a letter like this, are mortified and recognise there is a problem and deal with it.
Other people (like the Op it seems) are unwilling to recognise there is an issue, but are just interested in if they can avoid being in trouble. Hence the questions about what the school can do about it and what excuses she can give.
There is a whole class that needs to start their day in a focused way and the OP needs to recognise the bigger picture, rather than 2 minutes of her time. There is a lack of respect for the other children and staff, in taking the attitude that they don't matter and can just wait.
The right response is to apologise, not make excuses and say (and mean) that there will be an improvement.

I think it's obvious why the OP had disappeared, she has been well and truly slaughtered by 99% of you. I can honestly say I would not stick around either.

I agree that 10 times is a lot to be late and I agree this needs to be addressed. Also like many of you here have never had my children in late for school and my children also live the furthest away from the school.

I will probably be slaughtered myself by saying this but I do not agree with many of the attitudes on here, like butter wouldn't melt. I also do not agree with abbreviation of swear words. Some of you have probably made the OP feel like the worst mother ever who does not value her child's education. I'm sure she said she was not late for registration but late on the gate, therefore her child or other children would not be affected education wise, though I agree it would make her own child feel a little uncomfortable being late on the gate.

Let's remember this site is to offer other mums friendly advice. We're all mums, we're not perfect and we learn along the way with friendly help and advice. I do not believe this mum does not value her sons education or deliberately intends to be late with a carefree attitude as such a mum would certainly not be posting on such a site.

OP
If you have been brave enough to return, try thinking that school starts 10 mins earlier. My bedroom clock is set 10 mins fast and so is my car clock. I can't say if this helps greatly as I do know it's fast lol, but sometimes I'm laying in bed and jump out of bed in shock looking at the time :)

To think you may be confusing this site with others if you think its purpose is to be 'friendly' at all times.

Advice is often clear and to the point, and (as long as not rude, which this thread hasn't been) does not need to be fluffied up.

I do however agree that abbreviation of swear words is mealy-mouthed and unMNetty - the norm is to write the fucking epithets in full.

"I'm sure she said she was not late for registration but late on the gate"

She said in OP code L. So yes, late for registration.

My mum used to be laid back about getting to school and teacher said we needed to get in on time. I wen home and told my mum and she came into school and roared and shouted at the teacher! I am a tescher myself now. It's not on.

Teachers are under huge pressure to meet desdlines, settle the class etc. parents need to support them.

No, you are mistaken, she said late BEFORE registration!

I didn't know it's all about being MNetty and being sheep. I'm so glad I have my own mind and opinions :) :)

Elsie I think you essentially missed the OPs point though.

She wasn't looking for advice on how to sort out her morning routine so she could actually get her child to school on time.

She wasn't expressing any sense of regret that her child has been repeatedly late; and she shows no insight whatsoever as to why she actually needs to sort this out.

All she wanted to know was whether it is 'normal' for schools to send letters about latecoming and whether she can get away with ignoring th letter.

It is from this attitude that posters are drawing the conclusion that she is not taking her child's education - or her parental responsibilities - seriously enough. She has both a moral and a legal responsibility to ensure her child attends education. That includes being there on time.

Being a responsbile parent does not include repeatedly taking your child to school late and then whining about receiving a letter. Being a responsible parent means putting the child first. It means getting of your backside early enough in the morning to do the things that need to be done early enough that you arrive in time for the start of the school day. The OP didn't come here looking for 'friendly advice' on how to improve her time keeping. She came looking to find out if she can dodge repurcussions for it. Not the same thing at all.

If arrival is before or during registration, marked present. If late for registration, but register not formally closed, code L. If register closed, marked absent. It says in OP code L, therefore late.

It's all on DofEd website if you want to check attendance code regulations. Schools do not have discretion on this.

Is it sheep-like to be accurate?

In which case, proud to be woolly.

Elsie, why not try reading the post? Late before registration ended.
In other words wasn't there on time but got to school before registration ended.
OP Admits she's often late and isn't disputing that. Just doesn't see why she should bother to turn up on time like everyone else.

At all my children's schools there is a 10 or 15 minute window between the gate opening or being allowed in to school. We always aimed for the earliest time knowing we still had 10-15 minutes before the door would be shut. In 8 years of doing the school run for one, then two, then three children we have been properly late once when there was a serious accident and 99% of staff and children hadn't arrived at school by the time we did and once arrived after the gate had been locked but the teachers watch was fast. DS1 has been late once at secondary school when the bus was held up so no ones fault.

My children would be upset at the attention at walking into class late and I would be embarrassed and worried the staff would think I didn't take education seriously. I would hate to be late for drop off and pick up and always allow plenty of time. I have read a lot of books while waiting for children to come out of school..

Apologises, as you're right she hasn't asked what she can do for timekeeping. I think I picked that up from page 3 onwards, so yes sorry, she didn't ask for advice.

My eldest who is now 18, had a few lates in secondary school, roughly in year 10. He was 15 at the time. Their school had lates on the gate and lates for registration, my sons lates on the gate was roughly 2 mins or so. The gate closed at 8.30 and registration was at 8.40. That was their school policy. Of course though, I took it seriously, in fact I drove him to the gate lol, he was mortified and was never late again, so a lesson learnt. Funny, he's time keeping is still perfect since that.

I still stand by what I said that some attitudes are wrong here, I believe it's wrong to judge anyone especially not knowing them. Some have spotted the OP hasn't been back, wondering why but can you blame her? I certainly can't, she's been slaughtered.

Meditrina, I never said it was sheeplike to write facts, you said about the abbreviation of swearing was unMNetty, meaning there's a MNetty style. If there is such a style then that is sheeplike and I certainly wouldn't be to proud to be wooly. I rather my own style, my own views and opinions.

If I'm 2 minutes late at the GP I miss my appointment. Rightly so.

Show a bit of respect, OP and set your alarm earlier.

I interpreted I as a general swipe at posters not being fluffy enough. Thank you for clarifying that was not you intent.

The linguistic and other markers of a community ethos, and the importance of reinforcement, are of course a major topic in their own right. Some people do not instinctively grasp thir importance in so many facets of life. (Perhaps it needs a thread in Cunning Linguists? It would obviously be too much of a digression here).

Elsie, the thing is, that in most AIBU posts, whilst there may be points most other posters agree about, there is often something within the OPs post which is a grey area and causes some debate. However, there has been no real debate here, because there was not grey area. The OP started off with her question and followed up posters comments by showing she clearly was not sorry about being late or changing her ways, but was only interested in knowing if the school should have sent such a letter and if there could be any further consequences for her. Not surprisingly there was no sympathy for this, and following the early replies, you would have thought the OP would get the message. It is possible that she has not returned because the replies have upset her, but I suspect she is pretty thick skinned. She wasnt interested in people's views about lateness or about herself really, only in whether she can continue to get away with lateness.
I would imagine the OP lumps the posters here with the school staff....annoying busy bodies who don't want her to just go her own way, but have no power to enforce much, so are easily ignored.
I haven't come across that many threads on MN where the OP is totally unreasonable and not willing to recognise any element of that after the thread develops. This seems one of those cases. Of course, it maybe that she is willing to change, but can't bring herself to say so here, but effectively feels the need to defend her position regardless of whether she has been influenced by others views expressed.

If you are properly late and the registers are closed, then you get marked as an unauthorised absence for that session. 10 of those is 5 days, even if DC was in school for part of the session.