Letter for being late at school

[MsMarshmallow]

Little one brought a letter home from school today. Apparently she has been late 10 times since the beginning of the school year (Code - L: late arrival before the register has closed) and now they are asking for the reasons.

To be honest, there is no especial reason! Most of the days we just missed the gate for a couple of minutes because [insert reason here]. Maybe one day she was crying because X or I had to stop to tie up my shoe lace or we forgot her book bag and had to go back... who knows! FGS we are talking about being 2-minutes-late! Oh yes, the rest of the days we were on time, phew! ;)

Anyway, what I would like to know is: is this a normal procedure? What will happen if I don't reply to them? And what otherwise, should I make up the reasons for each day (since I don't remember)?

Thanks for reading and for your advice, if you have any.

Getting up 10 minutes earlier to give yourself time to arrive on time is really no great sacrifice. Your attitude is really poor, OP.

You are not setting a very good example to your child are you if you think its ok to be a few minutes late? Repeatedly being late means that children and staff are repeatedly being disturbed. In our school children start immediately after registration on a 15 minute mental maths assignment. In these circumstances a late child will disturb those children's concentration and the late child will not then have the same amount of time to complete the assignment. Therefore late children impact on both their and their peers learning. Get up earlier or set off earlier like the majority of people do! You may get a visit from the Educational Welfare Officer if your lateness issue continues.

It's not just the school that teaches your child - you do too.
You aren't teaching her how to be organised or how to be punctual.
The real world expects people to turn up on time for work each and every day. Start to help her now by making that tiny bit of effort needed to be at school on time.
Stop being so entitled and imagining that it doesn't matter, because it does. Your disorganisation is not helping your daughter, so put her first and stop making excuses.

Ten times is quite a lot dd1 is in yr 4 now and has been late twice - once because I spotted nits on her 10 mins before we had to leave (fastest bath and de nitting known to man but still 5 min late) and once for afternoon registration when she was already in school for lunch so who knows what happened there! Dd2 has never been late. We are a 15 min walk from school and includes the time when ds was born, three children under 5 wasn't fun in a snowy winter.

We have to give a reason when we sign the late book, it might be worth thinking about the precipitating reasons. Our school does try to help parents so if your dd won't get dressed parents have been known to turn up with them in pyjamas and the child soon learns that it is better to get dressed without a fuss. If she is having tantrums then talk to the school as they may be able to help the transition in the morning - she might like being in early -dd2 was like that, much happier in a classroom filling up slowly than going into a busy full classroom.

The schools are chased by ofsted on attendance and they want to make sure that she sets up good habits so that 2 mins late doesn't become 20 mins. I doubt that they would use a fine at this stage, but maybe a warning for the future.

How would you feel if your child's teacher was showing up consistently late?

Get up five minutes earlier FFS. How is the concept that difficult to grasp?

Wow, you are getting a bit of a hard time here OP. I'm surprised I haven't had a letter yet to be honest, there are just some days when DD walks really slowly, we leave ourselves 50 minutes to do a 30 minute walk but DD can still end up being late if she's in an awkward enough mood.

Just tell them as many of the reasons as you can remember and explain you don't remember the rest, I think they are probably asking a general is there an issue that needs to be looked at rather than an explanation of each occasion. Not replying would make it look like you don't care.

OP, you asked what the school could do, the school could do nothing but the LA could prosecute for persistent lateness. It is not your school being difficult, it is your LA being accountable to the DfE for the changes they implemented in September 2013

My mum was like you. Not bothered about being a bit late.

I hated it. I was late for my first day at school - primary and secondary thanks to mum I remember storming off one day aged 9(?) As she was going to make me late again.

Now as an adult I have a real thing about being late. So much so I get to places generally about 15 mins early!

Just get there on time. It is rude.

Another one with advice to rearrange your morning so you are not late.

Or at least change the thought pattern that makes lateness seem OK.

For it does sound as if you're more concerned with carrying on irrespective of impact on others (and covering up) rather than dealing with the real issue.

Basically your tardiness is saying that your time is more important than the 29 kids and 1 teacher and probably 2 TAs that are waiting for you guys to start the day proper.

Shocking attitude and really not a good lesson for your daughter.

Send a letter apologising profusely, saying you have had a bit of an issue with getting yourself organised and it won't happen again.

You do need to instill the importance of timekeeping in your dc's. A few minutes may not really matter now, but what about when your dc's are older and need to take responsibility for themselves?

In the school where I work, students that are late are given detentions and eventually, the EWO becomes involved as has been mentioned previously.

Being late could result in missing a GP appointment, job interview or even losing a job. A pupil who was never on time, (his mother tbf, was never on time either) has just been sacked from his job, for, you guessed it, being constantly late not just to the office, but to clients too.

Good habits, start young.

You don't have to arrive at the time of the bell, you can arrive 5 mins early. Often children are supervised in the playground, or they run around with friends for 5mins...

I think the over-riding agreement is YABU and you need to get to school earlier so your child is on-time.

Make it a top priority to get there on time. I would have been constantly anxious as a child if my mother had had such a disregard for time. I can't abide being late now.

I hated being late as a child. Hated it. By the time I got to secondary Mum used to say 'tell them it's my fault....' Well it was, but I still got the flak and by then I used to pretend I didn't care so I seemed defiant.

One of my children was unavoidablylate forschool everyday by arrangement with the school (older DD's SN transport conflict) but once that was sorted, she has been late for school once when my car broke down as we were leaving for school.

I frequently tell my girls we will be late. I mean 'won't be at school before the doors open' -there's a 10 minute window between does open and start of school.

One or two minutes makes a huge difference, too. At DD3's school the infants are streamed across the whole cohort for phonics and split into small groups across the whole building. That session starts 5 minutes after register so the teacher only has 3 minutes to do register and any announcements.

BTW: the changes implemented in Sept 13 have no impact on persistent lateness. It has been actionable since at least 2004 (?) when fines were brought in, and before that since at least 1996 - possibly even 1944

blimey OP. Over the 12 years that I have been getting my kids to school ( and I still have another 4 years of primary school after this to go). I have NEVER done what you are doing. NEVER.
The only time we have been late is when there was an accident on the road which held us up.
I have 6 kids.
Get yourself sorted out fgs.

Not MNetting in the morning (wake up until school run time) might help you a bit too.

Get up earlier and leave the house earlier- it's not rocket science. Aim to get there 10 -15 minutes before bell time- give your child a chance to catch up with friends before bell time.

It's very rude to be late- you are teaching bad manners. My kids are halfway though secondary school and have never been late- not once.

There is no excuse- you are being disrepsctful to the school and others. Staff and other parents notice this disrepectful attitude too.

OP - you have been told 42 times by the Mumsnet Jury - get thee to school on time

I can't recall getting mine to school late ever. My stomach would have been in knots as a child if I had been late.

Aim for 15 mins early and you will be fine- give them chance to meet friends and play first.

I know it can make you feel a bit defensive if you are being criticised by someone but you really are in the wrong here. Rather than arrive late on occasion due to a small issue delaying you, it would be normal practice to arrive a few minutes early every morning so that a small issue doesn't make you late.

Mornings are stressful with young children but if the rest of the class can manage to get there in time there really isn't a reason you can't.

It is disruptive to your child, as well as the classroom staff and other children, to arrive late. It may mean instructions need to be repeated, children lose concentration when another child (and parent) enters the class room, etc etc.

I see you have realised that you can be fined for this but I doubt it will come to that. The best option would be to apologise and make sure you are on time in future.

I was thinking of the effect on your child too. Most children come in, chat with friends, relaxed and cheery, everyone doing the same thing together. Your child arrives after everyone else, possibly stressed and embarrassed, or even defiant. Everyone looks at her. The first feeling she gets from the teacher is disapproval. Some children get so used to the negative attention that they end up expecting and even creating it.

This is not to try to make you feel guilty, btw. You are not late every day. But I think ten times is a lot, and it does matter.

The letter home is not just about the LEA/School/teacher/other pupils. It's because it's bad for children to be consistently late. So just say sorry and try to get there on time in the future.

We had a period of cutting it fine after DC3 was born. No matter what I did, we'd have an emergency nappy, or a mislaid shoe, or something, and be jogging into the playground at 8.54 again. And sometimes we would just miss the door. Sounds like you're late about once a fortnight - I think we were nearly at that level too.

All that changed was a lightbulb moment for me that the door was open 8.45-8.55 so we should aim for 8.45 not 8.55. So that meant leaving the house by 8.30, which meant shoes on at 8.25, which meant last nappy at 8.20 ... and so on as detailed upthread. I mean, it's still possible to have a crisis (last-minute poo) but when it does we're still not late.

Set yourself a false deadline of five to ten minutes before the real time.

I frequently tell my girls we will be late. I mean 'won't be at school before the doors open' -there's a 10 minute window between does open and start of school.

Snap! Our doors open at 8.50. If I were to arrive at 8.52, which I wouldn't, we arrive between 8.35-8.45, I would consider that two minutes late! I can do it with three kids and a job?!

You talk about it being marked late when the register is open as if that's unimportant-the next step would be unauthorised absence!

Get up earlier-you are setting a dreadful example to your child. If you don't reply to the letter as you seem intent on doing, you'll probably get a visit from the school attendance officer or the EWO from the LEA. Buy an alarm clock!