Complaint to school

[gwenig2]

Yesterday my 10 year old was grab on the wrist in a attempt to force her from the floor to go to the headmistress office. This was a male teacher in her school. I did post on Facebook I was upset by this but did not name the school. The new headmistress TOLD me I had to remove this or she souls report to police for slander. I have removed post, but feel more angry now as they did not apologise or give any justification for the incident, which to me is assault. I have a meeting on Monday arranged after much foot stomping today. Need advice on how to handle as feel little overwhelmed and emotional.

Ooh, there's another thread on here somewhere, with some people complaining about a poster being too harsh by telling a child at a party she had been rude.
Bet they'd love a military disciplinarian jack-booting around their child's classroom.

No I don't think low level disruption should be met with being shipped off. But I think such children should know where the power lies (and not with them). And the ones that need shipping should get shipped. If there's a need for more special schools they should be built.

I have read this thread and agree with tethers

Whether the teacher used reasonable force or not is not actually at question here. Team teach does teach moving a child from the floor. From a seated position it would be a 2 person escort if any type of 'force' was required. If a child is on the floor refusing to move the reasonable thing to do is move everything around them - furniture/people - to keep them safe. (Child and others).

95% of everything you do should be non physical. And a caring C would not leave a bruise and it does not require you to hold onto the body part - more guide, ensure you have something between you and pupil should they swing a body part backwards and allow you to move away safely should the need arise.

The OP's DD was behaving badly - doesn't mean it's then OK for the adults to follow suit.

OP - as the onus is on you to ensure you can prove un necessary force (if you believe it to be) make sure you photo bruises.

I cannot comment whether the teacher was correct or not in their actions because I wasn't there - but pulling a child up from the floor against their will is wrong if that is what happened.

What on earth is wrong with a bit of discipline?

There's no money to re-build all these special schools that were closed down because of 'inclusion'.

School staff have to act within the law Gollum.

A ' bit of discipline' is rather different from the incorrect use of restraint though.

Short of having a PC on duty in every troubled school there is no way of having enough conflict knowledge available at a moment's notice. Chances are you'd need two PCs anyway. Knowing what's required isn't the same as being able to apply it.

"Short of having a PC on duty in every troubled school there is no way of having enough conflict knowledge available at a moment's notice. Chances are you'd need two PCs anyway. Knowing what's required isn't the same as being able to apply it."

That's just not true, collum- and I've worked in a school with two full time police officers.

It was far more effective when every member of staff was trained in physical intervention and, most importantly, deescalation techniques.

In fact, the staff were better at defusing and resolving conflict than the police officers were...

"If there's a need for more special schools they should be built."

You could always start a campaign... Or open one yourself?

Good discipline has nothing to do with soldiers or police officers in schools.

Yes, de escalation techniques are the key. And extremely effective IME.

OK, the OP's DD was refusing to move from the floor - but it appears no one has worked out why or even tried to establish why. Establishing the cause of behaviour allows for everyone to work together to prevent the situation arising again. Instead there is now a situation where the 3 parties involved are all at loggerheads and no resolution has been sought. It would appear it won't either because something that could have been dealt with better has turned into a " he said/did, she said/did" situation.

I get good behaviour should be expected but as most 10 yo are not sitting on floors refusing to move and most 10 yo would be mortified at behaving that way it's fairly safe to assume there is some reason.OP has mentioned separation difficulties and problems outside the school. This young girl is 10 - not an adult - it's unfair and unrealistic to expect her deal with her emotions in an adult manner. It's the responsibility of the adults to behave like adults. And yanking a child off the floor is not an example of that. (If that is a true account of the situation)

Or, they could do as gollom suggests, and ship her off to a specially-built behavioural unit!

The line here is the bruising. IF there is genuinely a bruise caused by the handling, then that would be considered unacceptable if it resulted from handling by any care giver including parents. Bruising would indicate the application of excessive force.
As much as I understand teacher's are in a difficult position much of the time and the behaviour of the child in question was clearly unacceptable, I believe the head has no choice here but to involve the LADO, as there is an allegation of an offence against a child. This is very unfortunate for the teacher involved.
If the OP can genuinely evidence bruising occurred she should specifically ask if the matter has been referred to the LADO.

except the OP has stated her daughter bruises easily AbbyR

but as a teacher I would also want the LADO involved

The op has already said the child bruises easily, Abby. It doesn't necessarily indicate excessive force, especially as much of the "force" probably came from the child resisting.

A child plonking herself on the floor to avoid going where she was told to would be a dead weight at best, worst case is she was continuing to trash about putting other children at risk also, and would have been even harder to move.
I'm truly gobsmacked at so many people suggesting the little madam should have been left there until the spirit moved her to do as she was told.

Oh, x post again . Must type faster.

"Bruising easily" is a misconception unless there is genuinely an underlying easy bruising disorder such as a coagulation defect, low platelets. If a child has bruising as a result if parental handling then social services would be involved and a medical assessment requested. This would include an assessment of whether the child does in fact bruise easily- blood tests are done to ascertain this fact. In the absence of any abnormal findings then a paediatrician is likely to comment that children are not bruised in the course of normal, reasonable handling. I can tell you that younger children sometimes need holding firmly by the wrist to get blood samples and the nursing staff doing so never, in my experience cause bruising (gentle restraint with the assistance and agreement of a parent.)
The point is an allegation has been made and the LADO should correctly be informed.
It doesn't mean that I think the child's behaviour is in anyway acceptable and OP clearly needs to deal with that too. I really hope for the teacher's sake that a bruise hasn't occurred as a result of the situation that arose.

I don't have an underlying coagulation defect or any other medical condition AbbyR but I bruise easily (always have since childhood and undergone medical tests to find cause) wearing a jumper with tight cuffs or socks with elasticated tops results in a nasty bruise

Surely the school can only inform the LADO when an allegation has been made. If we informed the LADO every time something was put on FB, we'd be permanently on the phone - it has to be made directly to the school or the LA for us to do anything. In the past we have made contact when we have got wind that something is about to be said, and been told to hang fire.

Mrz there are definitely a number of schools in my LA which have phones in every classroom.
And it is very rare in our LA to find oneself in a classroom where there is no TA. Sometimes there are 2 or 3.

I find it quite scary that a teacher could be alone in a class of 30 with no one but another teacher alone in a class of 30 for support in any sort of emergency.

"I'm truly gobsmacked at so many people suggesting the little madam should have been left there until the spirit moved her to do as she was told"

I don't think anyone has advocated that exactly... Just that one teacher trying to physically move her from the floor is a bad idea as it puts both the teacher and the child at increased risk of physical injury.

Other suggestions for strategies to deal with it have included sending for the head, calling for another member of staff in order to move her (I would use this as a last resort), removing the other children, talking to her or simply shouting at her to get up (it often works!).

Having said that, carrying on teaching and completely ignoring a child who is on the floor can sometimes be a very effective strategy.

It's the norm in our school to be the sole teacher in charge of 30 and I don't know any schools with phones in every classroom.

IF the OP has informed the school the DC was bruised in the incident the LADO should be informed. They have managed to arrange a meeting, indeed it appears the head has spoken to the OP since she asked her to take the FB comment down. FB should not have been used in this way.
I repeat that normal reasonable handling of children does not result in bruising.
It is essential for the teacher in the middle as much as anything that this is dealt with correctly.

flogging what posters are recognising is that clearing this incident was reaching or had reached 'crisis' point. At that time move the people or things you can move to safety.

The time to work out strategies for future avoidance of crisis or to dish out discipline is afterwards during a debrief period when everybody involved has had a chance to cool off/ reflect.