Kind of agree with Johnnyrotten123. If you've conveyed in any way hey I'm better than you because I earn more than you - the likelihood is their attitude is a response to your own.
TinselTownley if you want to get on with teachers (and that can be work) I suggest you convey the message that you're interested in their professional opinion.
But....
I do agree that teachers can be judgemental and often pigeon hole parents. In part I suspect their busy/ stressed and find parents' evenings and 3 extra hours of saying more or less the same thing over and over a real trial.
My advice is focus on what you need to know. Go to parent/ teacher meetings prepared to query things in as positive a way as possible.
So don't ask - Why haven't you done x? or Why can't my DC do y?
Rephrase it as confusion - We are a little concerned that our DC doesn't seem able to do y by now? Is this something we should be concerned about?
That leaves it open for the teachers to say - yes, Mr & Mrs X, your DC is finding y a little difficult at the moment, but that's quite common....
Or just be proactive - I find asking 'Is there anything we should be focusing on at home...' really useful. Basically it's all I ask now.
My attitude toward our DDs teachers & HT has become incredibly cynical over the years. But, I also know that both DDs are happy at the school socially - and that's also important. So if you're unhappy with what is going on at school - do more. However, do it quietly. Don't make it a challenge or insult to the school. Just don't take them very seriously. I have literally come to the conclusion our school is just day care. There isn't a well-planned delivery of curriculum with benchmarks for skills that if not met signal a child needs help - there certainly is no stable progression from year to year so that as a parent with two children 2 years apart at the school I've had two entirely different academic experiences with DD2's class having regularl weekly homework (3 governors children in that class) and virtually doing in Y4 what DD1's class did in late Y5 & about half are doing now in Y6. Yes, yes, years can be different - but this is a stable, well-educated area (hospital/ university main employer of parents) and frankly it's mad that 1/2 of Y6 hasn't mastered their times tables to x10.
Over the years I just tend to see any sort of patronising conversation as teachers who are struggling a bit - I'm not rude, but I trend to respond with 'Yes, I can see it's a difficulty for you' or 'Yes, I suppose it's not possible to teach x at this age.' It isn't everyone - but not every teacher is as dedicated a professional as one might like. Indeed I've tended to find a teacher's professionalism is inversely proportional to their claims of being a highly trained professional.
My advice is this take heed of what the school is saying, but also make it a point of being informed about what is going on at other schools locally. I've found my arguments for things like teaching division are stronger when I can back it up with - I realise your policy is no multiplication/ division homework but it is confusing when a, b, c, d, e, school (all within 2-3 miles of here) are regularly sending home this kind of thing (handing over homework sheets) to their pupils. It must have stung them, because 2 weeks later we did get our first ever 2 digit x 2 digit multplication homework (late June Y5 for DD1).
Finally if you want a reality check - my advice is view the new national curriculum (to be rolled out from Sept 2014) when your DC will start Y1 - KS1 (Y1/ Y2) - KS2 (Y3 - Y6) here: www.gov.uk/government/collections/national-curriculum - just scroll down for area of curriculum.
Also campaign for real education has some fairly parent friendly statements about what your child should be able to do each given school year: www.cre.org.uk/
HTH