Why are teachers so patronising?

[TinselTownley]

I am a 42 year old mother of two. I am often judged on my looks and did model while I completed my Masters.

The teachers at my youngest's school talk to my husband and I as if we have learning difficulties. I am going to start the next term just doing the same back unless anyone can offer me an explanation?

I have an older child (12). The baby is now in reception. I have been quite forthcoming about my career as has my husband. We earn much more than teachers. They actually said 'well done' to us for taking some photos of the boy looking at autumn toadstools during our usual weekend dog walk. Then they clapped. They also have given me no progress report for my child since he started Reception in September. We both work and they only meet with parents/ have open events between 9 and 3.

I've met a lot of teachers and those with talent and integrity aren't like this. [edited by MNHQ] Do feel free to call them up to experience that unique 'you've got special needs' approach to communications first hand.

In the meantime, what do I do?

Agreed in whatever way it's a sad twat, missing. I reported as I posted.

Probably.

Or an Ex pupil.

How do you talk to someone like they had learning difficulties? Why would you tell the teachers about what you earn and why would they care? Maybe they think you're a bit of an arse though. Just genuinely wondering about the SN comment, my son does have LD you see but the staff at his school have polite friendly and non judgmental but then so is my son. Possibly they are reacting to how you speak to them.

The teachers at my DS's pre-school don't speak to me in that way….maybe it's because I am fat, short and have bad dress sense. I probably earn more than them but I'm a single parent so that probably evens it out.

I wonder how I'd have been spoken to if I rammed my career down their throat, the money I earn and the fact I was a previous model.

What a tatty post. They are having a right laugh at you and most likely think you couldn't give a stuff about your children to not make the time to go to any parents events.

Blimey

Blimey

Oh yes- the details mean this could be someone stitching up another parent....

Weird....

Troll or a wanker. Or both.

As someone said above earning more than a teacher isn't hard but may I add that working harder than one is.

Looks like a stitch up to me

Why on earth would you be discussing your career with the teachers? And why is the fact you earn more than a teacher relevant

Damn it people! If it's the 'model' posting you've just given her an excuse for her drunken rantings - "other parents are so jealous of my fabulousness that they're trying to drop me in it"

It would be way more delicious if it was a stitch up by a mumsnetter - so fucked off with the attitude of this parent that they did this and one night while pissed they let fly

OP - I sympathise. Some of the teachers at DD's school have a startling and initially disconcerting skill in patronising parents. They constantly tell you that you know nothing about education or children and that they know it all.

Either this isn't real or it is and the teachers' behaviour is in direct reaction to the terribly arrogant and superior way you talk about yourself.

Hahaha, they CLAPPED you

If this is even vaguely true, I'm loving the teachers at that school for their piss-taking efforts. Good work.

Bonsoir- you sympathise with the op? Seriously?!

Tether

To be fair to Bonsoir, she is in France where the teachers are incredibly arrogant and patronising. IME.

Morning.

We're just letting you know that we've edited the first post as it contained a little too much personal information.

MNHQ

It's the English teachers at my DD's school who are by far the worst culprits. Not the French teachers (who are by and large very good and secure in their skills).

What do you do? Find a ladder. Get over yourself.

Or, as I am a teacher, perhaps that should be 'Good job OP, you tried really hard on that post. Have a sticker.'

We had a presentation recently by the deputy head of the English department to about 60 parents. She managed to come out with several gems:

"You parents are worse than kids."
"I have experience of taking inner city children to the Isle of Wight" when explaining why her choice of residential for a group of globalised children of professional parents should go unchallenged.

I'm a teacher and I'd patronise you purely based on the fact that you sound like an entitled twat with a superiority complex. They probably all laugh about you in the staffroom ...

I have met a fair few teachers -both out of school and in my professional capacity- who are absolutely shit with parents. Great (or average, for teachers, I guess, so still very good) with children but they can talk down to you in the same way a teacher will use certain words, gestures and actions so a young child can understand what you are talking about.

The problem is that they don't switch these off. So good at their job, but not when talking about it to the parents or to some other professionals. Of course, most teachers are great at both, and even if arent, these usually aren't on purpose.

However, I have also met some teachers who really do think they are much better than you at x, y and z. I do science presentations in schools, involving live animals (such as giant millipedes), and when I show them the plan of animals, they make some very patronising suggestions, clearly implying something is wrong with the plan for the school, then suggesting something completely unsuitable and inappropriate for my animals or for the presentation. They then get annoyed when I refuse and explain my reasons fr why it isn't possible, as politely as I can.

But I don't agree with the OP obviously, although teachers can be very patronising, this is a very, very small minority, and a minority of teachers/bus drivers/SAHPs/anyone can be patronising, I just tend to meet more teachers due to my job, so obviously meet more patronising teachers. I'm sure I could say the same if I worked particularly with any other profession.

Should add, nothing wrong with implying something is wrong with the plan, or making suggestions, but it is very patronising for them to reiterate their points and talk to you as if you were a stubborn child when either you adjust but not fully to their plans, or don't adjust your plans, and explain why.