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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Why are teachers so patronising?

121 replies

TinselTownley · 22/12/2013 04:04

I am a 42 year old mother of two. I am often judged on my looks and did model while I completed my Masters.

The teachers at my youngest's school talk to my husband and I as if we have learning difficulties. I am going to start the next term just doing the same back unless anyone can offer me an explanation?

I have an older child (12). The baby is now in reception. I have been quite forthcoming about my career as has my husband. We earn much more than teachers. They actually said 'well done' to us for taking some photos of the boy looking at autumn toadstools during our usual weekend dog walk. Then they clapped. They also have given me no progress report for my child since he started Reception in September. We both work and they only meet with parents/ have open events between 9 and 3.

I've met a lot of teachers and those with talent and integrity aren't like this. [edited by MNHQ] Do feel free to call them up to experience that unique 'you've got special needs' approach to communications first hand.

In the meantime, what do I do?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

lottieandmia · 22/12/2013 10:33

Teachers Are Always Right on mumsnet - you cannot say a word against them. but OP you didn't help yourself by saying you earn more than teachers. If you have an issue with a teacher then fair enough but what you and they earn is irrelevant.

snowed · 22/12/2013 10:35

HECTheHeraldAngelsSing · 22/12/2013 10:35

So you're gorgeous and you know it and you brag about how much money you have and what an important career both you and your husband have?

Yeah. There's a word for people like that!
You ask what you can do. I suggest stop bragging and preening and be a little humble. Be a nicer person and you will find that people respond in kind.

As an aside, people can and should speak normally to those with ld. It is not required to speak in a patronising tone and is quite insulting.

Parliamo · 22/12/2013 10:36

CBA to read the thread, but my immediate response to the question in the thread title is - because most people are stupid.

octopusinasantasack · 22/12/2013 10:38

A friend of mine teachers and one of the mothers refuses to come to any school events unless she is personally invited...I think my friend feels like being patronising to her - but then so would anybody I thinK!

Bonsoir · 22/12/2013 10:39

IME only insecure teachers with inadequate skills for their job are patronising. It is their only means of self-defence

mammadiggingdeep · 22/12/2013 10:39

Lottie...I think it's actually the reverse. When middle class mums come here to slag off every decision/comment/idea their dc's child has made I think it that Teachers Can't Win on mumsnet.

rootypig · 22/12/2013 10:45

My mum is a teacher. She won't accept any backchat and routinely tells me off, even though I am a grown woman with a family of my own.

Despite all evidence to the contrary, I wouldn't take it personally

happybubblebrain · 22/12/2013 10:46

People patronise others when they feel inadequate and stupid. It's probably because you are so superior. Try to take it as a compliment. I'm sure they are just jealous and want to be you. Ha ha ha.

lifeissweet · 22/12/2013 10:46

Your DC's teacher is patronising. 'Teachers' are not clones. There are thousands and thousands of us out there. We are all individuals, not a faceless homogenous mass. Hth.

HRHLadyG · 22/12/2013 10:49

Your conversations with your children's teachers aren't about YOU. Teachers spend a lot of time talking to students, in some cases that may mean they are required to adopt a particular tone of voice, sometimes this is to make sure that their students understand what they are being taught/asked to do. At times, this may spill over into adult conversations but does not mean they are judging you in anyway as you are of less interest thane the progress of their students.
It seems that you have some real insecurities...and dare I say, a little chip on your shoulder. Adults are not judging you on your looks beyond the first 10 seconds of meeting you, it may be the way you treat others that is causing your problem.

pollypocket31 · 22/12/2013 10:51

Oh my god is this post for real?

At the end of the day the teacher's job is to TEACH your child, who cares if YOU find them patronising?

I find your comments repulsive. I'd LOVE LOVE LOVE to watch OP try to teach a class full of 30 reception children......

Bonsoir · 22/12/2013 10:53

The trouble with patronising teachers is that their attitude immediately alerts me to their insecurities and I lose faith in their teaching skills.

AllIWantForChristmaaaasIsEWE · 22/12/2013 10:54

Er ... My dd has 'special needs' and i expect her to be treated with the same respect as the teacher uses to address her NT classmates. Which she always does.

People with SEN do not have to be patronised. Many people with SEN are at average or above intelligence. Children who have English as a second language or are gifted and talented have special needs for example.

Perhaps you should read up about what 'special needs' actually entails before twattering on about it in such a disrespectful way?