Father admitted to hospice abroad -- not permitted leave during term time

[eka]

Hello all,

My father has just been admitted to hospice, being given days or weeks to live. He's located in Germany. I've asked my daughter's primary school for a leave of absence during term time to go and see him and my family. Idea was to leave 5 days before the term time finishes so that we'd have more time over there. Guess what? Yup, I've not been granted permitted leave during term time, because the situation given is not an exceptional circumstance.

What?? Does my father die twice? Sorry, I'm obviously quite emotional about that. I do know that the headteacher will want me to go and fully understands, but that she can't give me the leave officially. And that's the part I don't understand. So my daughter's end of year report will state 5 days of unauthorised holidays?! It's not a holiday I'm going on -- we're not going to Disneyland, but rather the opposite.

Has anyone else experienced something similar? Or is it just my daughter's school that is that tight in giving a leave for exceptional circumstances? Would love to hear other stories.

Thanks. x

Fuck them.

How old is your dd?

Sorry to hear about your dad.

Not sure exactly how 5 days at an old mans death bed is going to benefit her. Can she stay with her dad while you go early, and he bring her at end of term? I reckon you think he will still be there in a month, so maybe school does not think a few days will matter?

How about you take her for the weekend now, if you are concerned they may not see each-other again?

I'm so sorry about your Dad. Is there an appeal process? Surely the HT can put your case forward for you. This IS an exceptional circumstance .

If your daughters attendance is usually good I wouldn't worry about taking her out of school.

Hope it all works out for you. This is added stress which I'm sure you can do without. Xx

This really fucking angers me.

My family are in Ireland and we are looking to move for this very reason. It's an absolute disgrace and massively inhumane.

Shocking. Xxx

This is terrible. Just take her out. What can they do?

Not sure how 5 days at an old man's death will benefit her QS? Wtaf? It's saying goodbye to her grandfather. What a fucked up way to address the OP's situation!

From what I have seen on here lately I would not even request. jydt tell yhem you ate going and why and deal with the shit later.
The shit later may be unauthorised absence marked down and at worse a fine.
This is much more important than some office bods attendance targets which frankly all your daughter is in this case to them.
Go and don't even worry about this.

That's appalling, I'd like to know what they consider to be exceptional circumstances. I can't think of anything more exceptional than spending precious time with your dad before it's too late.

I would go and talk to the head and ask them to explain how it is not exceptional. And then I would inform her that I would be taking my DD out of school to enable her to say goodbye to her grandfather.

I honestly wouldn't give a shiny shit what went on her end of year record. Does it actually matter. So she has 5 days of unauthorized absence, so what. Do what you feel is best. Sorry about your dad .

working9while5 Tue 26-Nov-13 17:08:21
Not sure how 5 days at an old man's death will benefit her QS? Wtaf? It's saying goodbye to her grandfather.

End of term is in 3 1/2 weeks, and op has been told her dad has days, maybe weeks to live. If it is this urgent, 5 days early may still be too late, which is why I suggest taking her now for a weekend trip anyway. She will get to say goodbye to her gran dad for sure then.

Just go ... does it matter that your children will have unauthorised absence in the circumstances.

I would just take her and go and sort it out afterwards, sod them, I bet he'd love to have a bit of time with her.

When my Mum died last year DD and DS's all took time to go and see her, she was so pleased to see them, she thought she'd never see them again.
It mattered to all of us especially my Mum.

That doesnt sound right eka, but I wouldnt worry about it now. Just go and be with your father. At a later date you can sort it, but dont waste your effort on it now.

Sod the fine and the report. Take her. She won't ever get the chance to say goodbye ever again and your father will most likely be thrilled to be surrounded by his family even if he appears unawares. He will know.

I'm so very sorry to hear about your dad and what an arse wipe of a Head teacher. Go to your dad xx

xx

Sorry to hear you're in this position Op :( if I were you I'd just go and tell the school why you're going. If they kick up a stink about it go to the dm media.

I don't know who these people think they are.

Just go and hve it as unauthorised.

Even if the HT passed it the the LEA to chase, etc - I can't see this getting very far in terms of fines, etc. If this isn't an exceptional case the not much is.

The decision is solely that of the HT. That's the law. There isn't anyone you can appeal to, because the only thing that counts is HT's discretion amd she is refussing to exercise it in your favour. Her actions speak louder than words.

Just go.

From a teacher, take her out. Schools are crazy places unable to see the wood for the trees.

never underestimate the stupidity of some organisations

Go and be with your family and your father, you need clam and love at this time.

That is disgusting. Firstly, I am very sorry to hear about your father. Secondly, I would up sticks and go over whenever you need to . Bollocks to the school. You can deal direct with the LA when you get back if there is any bother. The school is being ridiculous.

I have been hauled in front of the education welfare bitch woman as my DD refused to go to school. I got a slapped wrist, no fine.

In fact OP you could bypass the school and phone the LA and discuss it with them.