I saw a parent-child interaction on the way in to school that made me want to weep..

[chaosagain]

.. and I don't know if there's anything I could or should do about it.

I was going into my daughter's primary school to help out this morning. I arrived around 9.25am. As I was locking up my bike, I heard a woman screaming at her children to get out of the car.

They were obviously late for school. Of the 2 kids, 1 in particular was on the end of his mother's wrath. He was probably around 7 or 8. As they walked up to the door of the school office in silence she started shouting at him 'you're a worthless sack of shit. You can't do anything, can you? You can't even get fucking dressed by yourself. Why can't you do anything? you're useless'. he muttered something I couldn't hear. She responded 'no, I won't fucking leave it, you sack of shit'. He refused to go up the steps into the school office for a moment. She shouted at him 'you'll go up or I'll kick you until you bloody do', grabbed his wrist and dragged him up.

It wasn't just the words, but her manner. She was furious, shouting and seemed not very in control of herself. The boy looked upset, weary and just locked his gaze on the ground - he didn't make a fuss, cry or shout back at all.

I arrived at the office reception a few moments behind them. She was asking the secretary to ensure his playtime got taken away from him because he'd made him and his sister late for school. Mum left. The secretary was lovely to him. She also phoned ahead to the classroom (after he'd left) to let his teacher know he was coming, was upset and might appreciate a warm welcome even though he was late.

As I was signing in the secretary said to me 'I hate it when they come in like that, so upset. It doesn't help them at all.' I said 'Mum was really angry with him

I wanted to tell the mother (but didn't) that she shouldn't be at all surprised when her son started to talk to her the way she talked to him and that no-one deserves to be spoken to with so little respect, least of all a child. Perhaps I was a coward but I felt she was so angry that there wasn't anything I could think of to say that wouldn't rile her further or inflame the situation.

WWYD, if anything at all? Try and talk to the Head? Just accept that there isn't anything I could do based on that one interaction? It's stayed with me all day. I really felt for that boy and wondered how he'll ever grow up with any self esteem when his mother tells him he's worthless so vehemently....

This thread is so sad. there are so many children who have such shit, unhappy lives due to abusive parenting. A lot of crime families treat the children of the family in unbelievably awful ways from a very early age, both physically and emotionally, in order to "toughen them up" ready for their role in the family's criminal activities when they are teenagers.

I would forward everything you heard to the Head.

This sounds like a family that needs some support.

You did the right thing; do follow it up with a written account.

However, I'm very surprised that the head didn't ask you to cleary idenitfy the boy from school ID. Otherwise he could be jumping the gun with the wrong family......

Also shocked that he revealed so much about the mother - clear breach of confidentiality. How would the mum feel if you engaged in a little school gate gossip?

It is heartbreaking to hear a helpless child being abused especially by his own carer. I would feel I should do something but also don't know what and how. Although it is hard to avoid losing tempers with my own dcs sometimes never will call them 'shit' or 'stupid' or 'useless' etc. I sometimes tell them they are annoying etc. Myself is not a perfect parent but I think both that parent and
child can do with some help. I would perhaps have a word with the headteacher as no one should be allowed to talk in such way and language inside school ground anyway.

End of your tether is yelling "for goodness sake be quiet" not a sustained campaign of verbal abuse.

Please talk to the head