Aarrgghh. Third time DS has come out of school in shitty pants!

[Kyrptonite]

Please tell me if I'm over reacting as I had a baby 2 weeks ago and my brain hasn't fully returned to full capacity.

I've posted before about DS (4) and his toileting issues. He had been doing so much better lately and then today for the third time since starting school came out covered in shit. I could smell him as soon as I picked him up. When I asked him why he hadn't asked someone to help him (teacher and 2 TAs in class) he said something about missing playtime or losing golden time if he's naughty.

I'm not brave enough for AIBU but WIBU to compose an email to school asking what they are doing to support him and why no one noticed? He bloody stank and had obviously been like it a while.

I had a meeting before he started where I explained he has a problem. I let the teacher know last week he was on medication and may have an accident.

I don't want him to be bullied. He's waiting for a paediatrician referral for suspected encopresis. He's managed the toilet 4 times last week and I really thought we were getting somewhere.

But if due to a short term illness (though too long term to be kept off school such as distorted bowel) how delayed is their development? I also said SN not SEN.

I don't think I'd leave a class unattended to sort out a soiled child. I'd send 2 children to find help from somewhere.

Schools will have to accommodate such cases now, as they have to accommodate all special needs up to a 6K spend on an individual child, before more funding is applied for.

Riverside I was not suggesting you would. I failed to read the unsupervised element as I assumed in Reception there would be a TA.

mrz What would you do if a child had a plaster cast, due to injury, which made going to the difficult for them, without help?

At my child's previous school I was called in to clean up a child who had had an accident as their parent was at work and this was agreed between all of us. I don't see why your school can't call you, or someone you have who is willing to help, can't do this. The most important thing is the chid is clean and not left smelling and uncomfortable not the "equality act" that sounds ridiculous if cited in this case.

If the school are not allowed to ask him to let them check then surely they can smell the mess and the obvious thing is to get you in. It really isn't rocket science.

MissStrawberry This is where inequalities arise. Not everybody has jobs they can leave within a reasonable amount of time. They could be a doctor or nurse or police officer for example. Not every body has someone they can just call. The child cannot just be left.

Schools cannot be just absolved from their Duty of Care. They should be making provision.

"But if due to a short term illness" ...so all children who soil in reception have a short term illness? WRONG

"What would you do if a child had a plaster cast, due to injury," the same as I would do if they didn't have the plaster cast ancientelm ...help them! (If it was OK with the child)

Stop twisting my words mrz, I said if as in 'if due to a short term illness'. The 'not all' is implicit.

I am pleased you would help.

MissStrawberry often you can smell but it's not always possible to narrow it down to one child. I've seen myself and the nursery nurse sniffing at every table and group trying to work out the source and more difficult when you find the source and they don't want help.

ancientelm, are you intending to come across as quite so pompous and patronising?

IMHE soiling due to short term illness (stomach bugs) is a fairly rare occurrence in reception, more often it is children like the OP's with who are being treated for known ongoing bowel probs with medication or children who are so engrossed in play they simply forget to go or children who just aren't fully toilet trained when they start school.

clam No entirely you own perception.

I have outlined what I see as a problem, that is all. It is one that teachers, schools, and LAs have to overcome. Parents can not really do more in this situation.

mrz I was including the OP in the short term illness bracket. Hopefully this can be overcome when the bowel shrinks back to its normal size.

^Op's child's situation that is.

I rest my case! Surely the perception of those you interact with is fairly relevant? I'm sure most people who are rude think that their attitude is fine. Whether everyone else agrees is another matter.

Clam Is it what I am saying you don't like? Do you have a particular perspective? You have not told me exactly what it is that I have said, that has offended you.

Nice try, but I'm not engaging.
Am off.

"I was including the OP in the short term illness bracket."

I would hardly call 18 months a short term illness ancientelm. I'm assuming you have never had a child with bowel problems that required medication.

mrz just a matter of definition. I do tend to view things quite long term. There are illnesses than can last years, I was thinking in comparison to these kind of illnesses which would require a medical Statement of Special Needs or a EHCP, as it is now.

Illnesses such as impacted bowels ancientelm?

The prognosis is variable.

But anyway a school has to demonstrate 6k of additional fund spent on an individual child before 'High Needs' funding is applied for. This equates to 12-16 hours per week of 1 to 1 support.

It would be highly unlikely that a child would be awarded a statement of SEN for soiling alone ancientelm I'm surprised you should even think that.