Support thread for parents burying their heads in sandpits with PFBs off to school

[MrsWembley]

Am I the only one, stood here looking at my DD and thinking,

'nooooooooo, you can't be ready, you can't be about to leave me forever, they can't have you, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...'

I'm fine with it, really. It's just, well, there's only three and a half weeks to go.

How have others dealt with it? How will you deal with it? How will I react to it? Glad of the peace? Sad at the thought that someone else is now teaching her? Missing her company? Grateful for the time alone with DS?

And how do people deal with school politics? And then there's all those frightful stories I've read on here about dealing with other parents!

If you've been there, please come and help us. If you too are sitting around, pretending it's not about to happen, come here to carry on the pretence.

I bought labels from 'my name labels'. I've not ironed in the irony ones yet, but having stuck the shoe labels in the shoes (they unstuck) and the sticky labels on the lunchbox and drink bottle (wouldn't stick on the bottle) I'm not holding my breath! I have loads of Cash's labels I might end up sewing in...

My PFB starts in September too. He was only 4 in June.

I've actually been OK about it, he's been going to preschool full time since March and his school is on the same site, just across the playground. He'll be with lots of friends he's had since toddler group and most of us parents know each other already from preschool fundraisers and birthday parties. I'm excited for him about all the new things he's going to be learning.

And then I think of him wearing a shirt and tie and those awful heavy black shoes at just 4 years old and I feel really sad. And he's not a very assertive little boy so I worry about him being bullied . I think I'm getting a little ahead of myself but I can't help it.

DH and I both work and September is going to be a real PITA. The first ten days of term there won't even be a class; they have been blocked out for home visits. Then DS has a week of afternoons only from the 16th, followed by a week of mornings only. They don't go full time until 30th September.

So far I have only bought two shirts and two jumpers, a school PE shirt and school tie. I didn't want to buy trousers too early in case he had a growth spurt. He's very tall and slim so trousers that fit his waist can often be too short to start with. Likewise with shoes, I will leave them as late as possible. Shoe shops don't sell out of school shoes do they???

The handmedowns my friend gives us for DS have iron on labels, usually stuck onto the garment label. They seem pretty well stuck on. Adikia that starter pack looks just the thing, I will order one today.

Quenelle I did just did a massive cry reading your post. Not only because your experience is so totally opposite to mine (don't know a soul), but also because of the big black shoes thing. And potential to be bullied. DS is blind in one eye, which is smaller and different to his other eye. Although he usually wears a cosmetic shell, that is amazingly lifelike, he doesn't sometimes, and already children are starting to point and whisper. If anyone every bullied him over it, I would hunt them down and kill them.

Oh, herby, I'll help!

I'm not too worried really, honestly about DD but when DS starts in two years time I'll be thinking similar things. He's just soooo little.

Oh no, I'm so sorry to have upset you herbaceous I didn't think before posting. I hope your boy's school comes through for him, and you

No no! Don't feel bad! I didn't mean that... I'm just on a hair trigger at the moment, and just about anything sets me off. I cried at Desert Island Discs just now too, when the interviewee chose his grandson playing the piano as the one record he'd keep...

Oh herb - you just made me well up. I was bullied as a child and I can't bear the thought of either DS going through that. Definitely brings on murderous thoughts.

Just ordered these with MN discount - I went for the woven iron on labels and a small pack of the stickers.

We have to do a 'chatterbox' before DS starts school: covering an old shoe box with nice paper and filling it with special things (photos of family, special toys etc) so that if he gets upset they have something to spark conversation about things that are almost guaranteed to cheer him up. Nice idea I think :)

I'm excited for ds because he can't wait. I'm a TA so ds was at nursery during school hours anyway and he's soooo ready for school. The last term of nursery was a nightmare as he'd outgrown it and really didn't want to go.

This summer has been hard work ( but lovely) as he needs so much stimulation and he's an only child and has been lonely this holiday :( he's been lovely when out and about and we've been lucky to have had lots of trips out and spent lots of time with his cousins, but his behaviour when at home has really deteriorated this holiday :(

I've got all his uniform and shoes now and have gone for iron on labels with a motorbike picture, even though ds can read his name, it's just a bit more interesting to have a picture.

I must say I have had a few wobbles as he's so tiny, but I know he'll love school and do really well there, it's a fab school :)

Gawd, the Desert Island Discs would have set me off too.

Is there any way at all you can make contact with any other new parents herbaceous?

DS's school has a mums' Facebook page. Any chance there's anything like that? Would the local authority have any information?

I can totally understand your concern. I can't believe the school's communication has been so crap. Hopefully it's because they put all their efforts into other areas.

I've asked about on local Facebook pages, but to no avail. The school doesn't have a Facebook page or Twitter account. I know one family that's going there, but to the main site, so not much good. A friend of a friend is going to his site, but have yet to be put in touch!

A chatterbox is a lovely idea.

I'm hoping the school will spring into action once term time starts. Otherwise I'll be selling our house and all its contents to go private.

DS is an only child too. Because we're both at work he's spending most of the summer at the holiday club which is run by the preschool. The leavers' party on the last day of term was a bit irrelevant because he was back there the next week and will stay there until the 16th September.

I waver between feeling guilty that he hasn't had a lazy summer holiday - no chances to stay up late or lie-ins, or days hanging round the house in his pyjamas - and grateful that he's had other children to play with.

We're going to take a week off together at half term so he can have a proper school holiday.

It's unbelievable that they haven't even told you about the uniform. Maybe they've had a change in admin staff or something and they haven't been able to get the information out?

Are you still on waiting lists for other schools?

I use fabric pen on the label and on the inside back hems. Too many cases of labels being cut out.
Though at my older children's schools they have labels on every single item of kit and it amounts to sewing hundreds of labels so I do kind of resist doing more than necessary anyway

I love the chatterbox idea, DDs school made us fill out a booklet all about their favourite things, favourite games, family etc so the teachers could get to know a bit about them before September.

Good idea with the silver markers Herby, I've been trying to work that out for ages.

Anyone got any ideas how to label a felt hat?

Can I join?

PFB DD starts on the 5th September, she was only 4 in June. She has done two settling-in sessions at which she got on okay.

I took her out of nursery 3 weeks ago and put her in the school's holiday club to try and get her used to going and to maybe make some friends. She is really liking the holiday club.

I've got all of her uniform, I think.

Every time I think about it, I get a quivery bottom lip and I well-up!

Not just me then! I am on mat leave with Dd so took DS out of nursery for the 6 weeks before he starts rception. I veer from wanting to scream at him (his behaviour has deteriorated since finishing nursery) and wanting to hug and not let him go. I well up just thinking about it all.
Keep imagining hi getting lost or being bullied or not being able to pull his trousers up or any number of things. He is my baby! I am quite concerned I wont be able to get him in the school door without crying.
Am goig to get 'Stikins' labels I think, I Do Not sew. But theidea if some with a picture is a good idea....
And just shoes to buy!

It's good to hear ds is not the only one who's behaviour has gone downhill since finishing nursery! It must be coz they're ready for school.

I forgot to add, I ironed all the labels onto the actual clothes but the size/ care label, incase any 'disappear'.

I will join you ladies. DD is much less worried than I am about starting school, although she has also enjoyed being at home with me this summer (teacher). We have had a few of her new classmates over to play.

I have finished all the uniform shopping - got the shoes this week - first ever black pair of shoes and I have used iron on labels in pink on most of it.

Fortunately, as I will be at work looking after other people's scared Year 7 new starters on the first day of school, DH will be taking her. I don't think he will cry until he's out of sight.

We did get our 1st choice fab little village school, so we are confident that even though she is very sensitive and not at all assertive, they will look after her.

We tried all her stuff on yesterday and she looked sooooo tiny

She is our only child which I'm not sure if it makes it worse or better! I suppose at least we only have to go through it once!

I've been reading some of these posts to DP because they are soooo close to things for us. He's just told me, as I've been describing how I feel, 'I do too!'

DD is out tonight, at her nursery on a sleepover. It's the first time we've not had her with us overnight. When she stays at Grandma's, so do we.

We miss her. She's been gone two hours and it feels like I've had an arm removed. God knows how DP's coping, she's been a Daddy's girl since DS arrived. We're both having a drink. Hope to god we don't get called to pick her up!!

I found it hard when DS2 when to school - I had no babies at home any more and now my last baby was gone. Then a few years later DS3 arrived and I had to go through the whole 'last baby going to school' thing again! He's about to go into year 2 and I still feel sad at the end of the summer holidays. My PFB is off to uni in five weeks and I feel just like I did when he started reception all those years ago.

Ds turns 5 a day after starting school. He is more than ready but I'm yet to order uniform. I have trousers and shorts for him though. The school is supposed to be good and improving, but is a mile walk away (3rd choice) which will be a struggle for me (medical issues). And while they build a new building, there's no after school care - the company is meant to be setting up a service to collect kids and take them to another school, but aren't responding to phone messages or email. No before school care to be found, which is going to make work interesting for both me and DP despite having lots of flexibility.

I'm not sure whether to hope or not to be offered a place at choice 1 once term starts. Apparently a couple places usually come up and we're 2 on the wait list...

My DD is looking forward to "big school", and I am excited for her, but I am afraid the teachers won't see how lovely and precious she is. She is quite confident and I am afraid the big bad world is going to knock that out of her We are happy with the school we've chosen and were allocated, and it'll probably be fine, but I just want to bury my head in the sand... or and sympathy to everyone else worried !!

Quenelle A new head is starting in September, but really don't think that excuses the total lack of information. Or of giving the tiniest toss.

I only know that the uniform has black trousers and white polo shirt because I went to the new starters meeting. Don't know whether he needs black shoes, so bought them anyway just in case. Or where to get the jumper. For any parents who couldn't go to the meeting, they must be completely at sea.

My PSB (precious second born) is off to school in 3 weeks and she's still 3! She's 4 in 5 days time and seems too little to be starting school. With DS he seemed very ready and I wasn't worried ( he is May born but always been mature for his age) DD is my youngest and I think in a way that's harder especially as she'll be the youngest in the school!
She is excitied about going and has been at the pre-school attached to the school for the last year so knows about half the reception class already so I think she'll be fine and I'll be the teary one!

I am a big fan of 'stick in' labels - they just stick so no sewing or ironing on- and they work on clothes/bags/lunchboxes ...anything really. They definitely stay attached through washes and general wear. Definitely recommend.

herby, have you tried looking on school trends? they do all the uniform for the primary schools round my way and you can search by school name