Support thread for parents burying their heads in sandpits with PFBs off to school

[MrsWembley]

Am I the only one, stood here looking at my DD and thinking,

'nooooooooo, you can't be ready, you can't be about to leave me forever, they can't have you, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...'

I'm fine with it, really. It's just, well, there's only three and a half weeks to go.

How have others dealt with it? How will you deal with it? How will I react to it? Glad of the peace? Sad at the thought that someone else is now teaching her? Missing her company? Grateful for the time alone with DS?

And how do people deal with school politics? And then there's all those frightful stories I've read on here about dealing with other parents!

If you've been there, please come and help us. If you too are sitting around, pretending it's not about to happen, come here to carry on the pretence.

Some nice positive stories - good to hear.

Our week is going downhill rapidly. DD was hysterical this morning and had to be 'peeled' off DH. She was the same this afternoon and all the other parents were staring . I guess we need to see if they think she's not ready for full days maybe? She is shattered and overwhelmed by it all I think. I have promised her a little treat on Saturday if she tries not to get upset tomorrow (but not sure if that's a god thing to do or not really). I feel drained!

I have just been reading down this thread for the first time and can't express how relieved I feel to know that I am not/wasn't the only one to feel this way - anxious, scared and stressed to the point of sleepless nights at the thought of my DS starting full time school for the first time.

He started YR 1 on Tuesday after only ever having part time nursery experience due to us living in Scotland for the past 4 years to then move back in to England. He completely missed out the reception/foundation year because they didn't do that in Scotland.
DS is behind, because they work on phonics much sooner in England. So, with him being behind, missing a YR, going in to full time school, after only ever doing half days previously and the school not allowing a settling in period, not to mention being completely heartbroken at the thought of everything changing, my baby going through the next huge chapter and nothing being the same again - I've been a mess!!

However, DS has just finished the 3rd day of being in school full time and is doing fantastic! I have never, in my life been so proud. The teacher has already got someone in to the class every afternoon for an hour to give my son one-to-one learning to help him catch up. He's already learning so much, he's happy. So after all the worrying, I am finally beginning to relax. (not fully, but definitely getting there) I hope any of you in similar situations will be able to relax soon, too. It's a huge transition for our children, but nobody warns us about how distressing it is for us parents, eh?

MrsPeeWee, I'm so pleased to read such a happy story after all your worries. In fact, it's fantastic how many here are going through this 'huge transition' in relative calm and with fewer problems than anticipated. Although, THC, I hope your story gets happier. I'm sure it will and, if it is too much for her, always remember it is your right to withdraw her until she is five or until you think she is ready, which ever is sooner.

Galena, I have to tell you, that article made me well-up.

Herby, fantastic news about your Head. At the meeting, why don't you hint that you are thinking of joining the PTA... Y'know, just to make sure she takes you seriously.

I'm going to pick up the last bits of the uniform tomorrow, including grey socks, so I'll get a picture up some time tomorrow evening. DS is having his third taster session at nursery in the morning so I'm taking DD for a haircut and a little girly shopping experience. Not that I usually do girly shopping, so it'll be an experience for both of us.

I think herbaceous should enquire about governor vacancies!!

Ds started today. He was absolutely fine. He is mornings only and made me play schools all afternoon.
He should be full time after a week or so but we have negotiated half days simply because he's summer born, may have dyspraxia and is worse when tired. But now I'm not sure whether he'd be better in full time since he seemed to enjoy it.
There were only six in today too, the six youngest. They add the others I'm gradually with the oldest ones starting last. I think possibly he may find it more overwhelming when there are more children and it's 1:15 not 1:3 adult to child ratio.
Still glad he liked it. Seemed to take it all in his stride.

I guess we will see how it goes re part time or full time. I suspect five full days might well be a bit much initially but if he wants to stop I will of course let him.

Ha spaniel I was thinking the same thing! It might really help how you feel about the school, Herbaceous, if your DS stays there (or it might be a PITA ). I have put my name forward at DD's school and will be having my governor's training next week - gulp!

School run this morning was slightly painful, as I hate being late. Skidded into the car park on two wheels and arrived in classroom with about 30 seconds to spare. I was glad there was no bell to shame me. We were a little tardy leaving as DH had left DD's school shoes on the dining room table , and was still in bed when we left the house . I am going to insist he brings me coffee in bed before he takes DD off to her dance classes tomorrow morning!

Right. Well I met her for about 40 minutes. She realises there's a hell of a lot to do to improve communication with parents. She was at the new starters meeting, as a guest, and was horrified at the size of it, and the relative uselessness of the info given out. Nothing was from a parent's perspective - all just internally-driven blather.

She's got all sorts of ideas, and is prepared to make herself unpopular with the 'we've always done it this way' mob to get them done. She turned her previous school round from 'special measures' to 'good' in four years, so reckon she's shit hot.

I complained that no-one had shown any concern re DS's eye, suggested a meeting of how to deal with it, etc, and that I was in the middle of organising a transfer on medical grounds. She was horrified. She knew there was a boy in his class with a problem, and had asked the staff if it was sorted. They had said yes. Further profuse apologies.

And she's going to send me the email of the chair of the PTA (or, indeed, PITA)!

Well done herbaceous. I second (third?) the above suggestions that you enquire about becoming a governor, if you have the time and energy.

I've put my name forward for the vacancy at DS's school but not heard anything else yet. I told them I would back out if anyone else was interested though, don't fancy an election.

I meant to say, it sounds like your HT could do with some people on side if she's going to be fighting the 'we've always done it this way' types.

herby - Sounds like you'd make a good deputy to the new head . Failing that, the PTA or governors should do it!

stillhoping - glad it went well for you and DS. So sweet that you played 'schools' - bless him.

sparrowfart - sounds stressful! Maybe get a box near the front door to put everything in? Breakfast in bed sounds good

Well done mrspeewee - I can feel the relief coming through in your post!

Much better day for us here yey! No tears on drop off today and she got "star of the week" and got to bring the class bear home! I am so proud because this week has really challenged her. Now we have to think up some fun things to do with bear before Monday!

Oh god, it's not one of those bears you have to write a diary for, is it? We got one if those home once, from nursery. I'm hoping the reason I never saw it again wasn't to do with what I we wrote...

On a more positive note, pictures of DD are up on my profile. First time I've done anything on my profile and some of it was written whilst I was partaking of a glass or two of red, so apologies all round.

Oh, and it's really good news, THC, you must be feeling relieved.

Oh, she looks very smart, MrsW. :)

She looks lovely MrsW.

Quenelle, indeed we have all faced major changes over the past few months, but I am pleased to report that the twins have embraced school with gusto and are perfectly happy to go in with their older sister every morning.
I cried like a baby all day, even when my boss asked me if I was ok at around lunchtime I cried. doh!

Glad everyone else has survived the week!

Have to pay 4 days lunches for 3 kids next week: £22.60. gulp

I hope it gets easier for you poorbut.

My boy is still waiting to get started. His first afternoon is still a week away. He tried all his uniform on last night and he looked so smart and grown up both DH and I got all emotional.

If I can work out how to do it I'll post a link to the pic. He looks so suave.

So, she's gone, seemed fine, got herself sorted and said 'bye-bye' like it was no big deal...

No tears from anywhere, though DP said he wasn't going to cry unless I did first.

poorbuthappy - poor you! Glad to hear the twins are enjoying school. I am still busy enough (what with mornings only at school) that I haven't started rattling around the house like a lonely pea, so haven't felt too sad yet.

MrsWembley that's great! I was commiserating with some of the mums in the playground yesterday about DCs going off without even saying goodbye! I said goodbye at the door today, and hovered to make sure she did her start-of-the-day routine (coat, bookbag in tray, water on her circle).

I have even started finding out some things about DD's day! She told me she had meatballs, noodles and cabbage OR green beans for her lunch (first school dinner yesterday). We have a meeting teacher later today so hope to find out a little more.

my dd has just gone to full time school... it doesnt terribly upset me cos shes a bright girl, and absolutely blossomed at nursery so its good for her...
but i do feel very strange having a dead house all day im used to it being busy n noisy
but im due to pop with dc4 in 2 months so im using the extra time to myself to get shopping done and catch up on some shuteye

Just wondering how things went for Quenelle - think your boy must have started by now?

DD spent time on the "sad face" on her first full day. Teacher said she was really upset about it, so worked hard to get back onto "happy face", but still!!! DD does struggle sometimes when DH is away (he's gone for another two weeks ). Hopefully she is behaving today - she went in with a sore throat, so hope she isn't too crabby.

Hi Sparrow. Yes, DS started afternoons only yesterday. He seems to really like it, although getting details out of him is like pulling teeth. He's only there for two hours though so not much time to do much.

Next week he's doing mornings which are nearly three hours.

Roll on Monday the 30th, when we can all get settled into a proper routine. I don't know if I'm coming or going with work and school runs this week.

Hi there

Anyone else's full-time new starters a bit manic after school? I expected him to be knackered, and just want to watch a DVD, but he's so full of beans, wanting to paint, then play hide and seek, then do a show, then make me be a horsey for him to ride, blah blah. I'm knackered by his teatime! I'm wondering if he's just thoroughly overstimulated and fed-up with being 'good' for six hours, and needing to let off steam! Perhaps I should let him run about in a wood until bedtime...

Nope, my DD is going to bed two hours earlier than usual. However, she is sick at the mo, but is still doing her usual extracurricular activities. I would have kept her home yesterday, but she told me she wanted to go to school.

Running around in the woods sounds ideal. I am letting DD watch movies after school/during tea, just to keep her going!

Herbaceous, not a PFB more no so PLastB. DS started reception and is like a Tasmanian devil until about 6pm then he crashes.

Has the school done anything re training about your DS eye. FWIW my DD2 in yr1 has a girl in her class with what sounds similar to your DS and the teachers both this yr and last have had training on how to deal with her needs.

I had to take him to Westfield yesterday after school, and was anticipating a number of tantrums, but with the bribery of a cupcake he was remarkably good! Getting him to stay in bed, however, was another thing altogether.

And yes, wheredidIputit, thanks for asking - after I ranted at the head teacher she rallied the troops and put a care plan in place. Two people are now trained to sort out his eye, and have even done it a few times.

I'm so very proud of him. When he went to school two weeks ago he was holding a pencil in his fist, and refused to write or draw as he 'couldn't do it right'. Now he's writing his own name, kind of, and drawing pictures of himself. And he's made three friends, and been invited to a birthday party! He trots in every morning without a backwards glance.