What to do if local "mafia mummies" start 'helping out' at primary school

[aambrose100]

I'm sure most of us are aware that some Mums can be a little prone to nasty gossiping and bullying behaviour towards other Mums....most of the time we can just ignore it, but does anyone have any advice as to what to do if these Mums then start getting positions in the local school 'helping out'. I've had a meeting with one of the teachers this afternoon and although I didn't go into detail, made it clear that I didn't want a helper to have any access to either of my children, either reading to them, helping out or especially having any access to their records. If necessary, I'll put my concerns in writing to the school. Obviously they can CRB check helpers but this doesn't police against women who just get together and spread nasty rumours. Anyone had any experience of this? How did you handle it? Any schools out there that have policies where they don't offer positions to local Mums to help out? If someone is that passionate about helping out at schools there are plenty in other villages to chose from, particularly ones from more deprived areas.

Try a private school op - at my dc's school the only times parents can help out is school trips. Anything else is done by teachers / ta's etc...

The blanket ban on volunteering in your own child's class is quite insulting if it follows the logic the previous op outlined So because we do not have full time jobs we are incapable of behaving professionally! The parent who is there for the express purposes of trouble making will do so regardless of what class they're in surely?

headinhands - yes I can see it might be insulting if you are person who believes in professionalism and confidentiality, but it prevents those who aren't able to apply those standards from exploiting their position - and those people do exist.

A person who is out to make trouble is most likely to be tempted to do it with parents and children she knows ie their own child's class.

Gosh, the thought of these parents offering to wash paintbrushes for 3 hrs just to cause trouble. That's commitment.

The thing is if that parent just wants to cause trouble they will do it anywhere, they will be doing it already outside of school and they'd be a very very good chance that the HT was already aware of them, if they were that thoroughly unpleasant.

Our HT seems comes across as very savvy like that anyway,

Op, what would you do if one of those mums actually got a job at the school?

Obviously they don't volunteer in order to cause trouble. Causing trouble can come as a side-effect .

headinhands

None of this is to suggest than many people who are a PITA volunteer. Probably very very few - they are often the sort who like to moan about school without actually contributing in any way. But they do exist. And as I said before, I volunteered myself for a couple of years.

To be honest, you do occasionally get 'helpers' in school who aren't all that helpful. Hopefully, most teachers will try to keep a lid on this. On the other hand, some years your child may not have an ideal teacher. Some years their peer group/child they have to sit next to wouldn't be your first choice. Unless you can point to something that somebody is actually doing to your child that is harmful or interfering with their education, I would just try to take it on the chin.

Part of living in a society is learning to rub along with many different people, and every street/place of work/community will have the odd person who you don't see eye to eye with.

If I honestly thought that another mother was spreading rumours about my child, and I felt the teacher were in a position to help, I would not beat around the bush, I would just tell the teacher. I don't think a parent helper would be in a better position to spread rumours because they heard my child read or ran the cake stall. (although I would argue that trained professionals should be listening to children read, not parent helpers).