What witty, non-aggressive and clever retorts do you give to parents who

[Technoprisoners]

ask what reading level/book band/nc level etc your dc is on?

This really annoys me. I have no wish to discuss my dc's levels or whatever with other parents at my dc's school, least of all random nosy feckers in the playground. Some really persist, no matter how I try to skirt round it.

So, what do you say to to shut 'em up for good?

"Dunno. I'm concentrating on his football, cos that's where the money is these days, eh?"

I have actually noted down the quote "comparisons are invidious".

This thread has a good basic point that it's none of one parent's business what reading abilities someone else's child has got. But on a more serious note, how can you compare them anyway? One child might be able to pronounce every word in Oliver Twist, or A Christmas Carol, but not understand the significance of either story and another child might only be able to pronounce the words in The Cat in the Hat, but be able to tell you, in a nutshell, what's so important about the play Henry V. There are many parts to reading and some people believe in teaching very young children Shakespeare. (I'm not too sure myself!)

"He's currently reading 50 shades of grey, what are your DCs reading?"

:)

Oh don't joke Professor - I accidentally downloaded that book to my 6 year olds DS's kindle so he may well be reading it!

Ooooh, accountantsrule, don't worry - unless he's a super reader and has comprehension well above his age ;)

If he is, watch out for some funny looks from other parents in the playground :)

professor oh dear. You will now enter into the class (intellectual class) debate. Chaucer vrs 50 shades! My dd at 4 months is reading the Hobit, while yours is only on Tolstoy?! Uuu tut tut

Seriously though. Mums where I live, most don't work. I see them ferrying children from one place to another all day every day and still they will not openly discuss what extra curricular activities they do. One mum I know let it slip her dd has already taken exams for Maths Gcse 2 years ahead. Oh, but he is soooo lazy and Hardly Ever studies. How is that possible?

I would rather be openly competitive then underhand. Healthy comparison and competitiveness is good. Obsession is not. I would not mind discussing book bands. But i will now be more aware if ever I feel like asking for advise from a fellow mum. My dd will be what she will be. Education is a long game.

He is a super reader but even so I am sure he would not understand it!!!!

Then you can be quietly relieved and very smug accountantsrule :)
My DS is on the penultimate stage before free readers and I don't care who knows it because 18 months ago he could barely read and they thought he had some kind of special needs because he could write fantastic stuff but could never read it.

megabored, lol, good one :)

Well done to your DS too - no one will ask you what reading level he is on as all the other children will have told their parents he is on such a high reading level anyway and at 5/6 the kids think its fairly cool to be clever still. The other children are lovely to DS and want to reach the same level as him - I know full well that will change with age!

I am happy for people to ask me and don't care what they say but I can understand that it is not so great when people ask others knowing that their DC is way ahead or something when it is likely the other child they are asking about isn't - thats just nasty!

I would like to say that I feigned ignorance at their levels and bands, but truth is I didn't know and they never said. It worked very well because a dim mother is left to get on with life in peace.

To the more persistent ones, I'd say at the library you can get any book even if the teacher isn't handing them out.

genug, that's a good point - the reading books that come home from school are only meant to be a part of what they read and not the only thing that they read.

thanks Accountantsrule, appreciated. Hopefully the other kids will stay being nice to your DS.

IamnotminterestedI did the same as you (I can admit it now).

In a similar position to Chandon a parentzilla asked what reading level my DS was on because he has such a hard time (he did last year). I felt the parent concerned took enormous comfort from the fact her DS did better than mine. After the third 'don't worry he will catch up' in a week, I saw red and said I don't need to be worried. He has already caught up and is on level x. Her face fell and I felt silly for joining in book band olympics.

In future I will make a colour up or respond "Black, like my soul"

learnandsay the book bands reflect what comprehension level the children are at as well as just the reading. For instance DS1 has a reading age double his age so 6 years ahead however his comprehension is just 2/3 years ahead so his book band reflects his comprehension level really as that is the lower of the two, often it is the other way round especially early on.

Although he started on a high book band he has not moved up as many levels as the others as his progression is slower due to the detailed criteria he has to reach to move up. In YR he got very upset about this as he felt he was not that good at reading when he saw the others being put up all the time onto levels he had never read (ie pink, red).

Mine are 14 and 17 now. Never recall this being an issue - some of us talked about it quietly - but it was small talk and interesting because the subject matter was about our children. I used to go in an help with the reading anyway so knew what books all the children were on; who was seeing the SEN lady and who was flying. Woudln't have discussed it in the playground though. But perhaps that's why the head asked me if I would keep it going and take on a group of children who were struggling and not receiving optimal support at home.

I will add, mine were precocious readers and although I never discussed what book they were on, lots of people used to come up and ask about books their children might like, what our knack was. We didn't have one, they just loved reading and still do. May be though, seeing us read and living in a house full of books was fairly encouraging.

Actually, the children who were at the top at primary are the ones who seem to be looking at RG universities now so I slightly dispute what was said up thread about the early high flyers crashing later. Although dd who was never outstanding at primary is finding her wings at 14.

I really do not believe people are nasty as a base case. I give people the benefit . If I feel the the person is asking to be nasty, then they will get similar response back but otherwise I really do not see what all this fuss is about and why all this secretiveness?! Being open may even put this topic to bed !

What good reason can anyone have for asking?

Why the taboo? What's the big deal? As I have said before, I would only ask to understand where my dd stands if I was concerned or wanted to discuss somehow related to that. If I felt the other mum may help me. Not I be nasty. If I shared something like a concern with a friend and they begun being evasive and secretive, do u think that friendship would last? That is why I mean.

I think most people are generally nice and I assume that unless I learn otherwise. In my case there are a few ridiculously competitive parents. I don't think they ask questions about my DS out of interest of concern. Their main motivation is to gauge how well their offspring are going and believe comparison is the way to do this.

In their defence, most children in Reception start from a basic level and moving up through the reading levels is an obvious progression. It is not a measure of intelligence or prophecy of future success.