What witty, non-aggressive and clever retorts do you give to parents who

[Technoprisoners]

ask what reading level/book band/nc level etc your dc is on?

This really annoys me. I have no wish to discuss my dc's levels or whatever with other parents at my dc's school, least of all random nosy feckers in the playground. Some really persist, no matter how I try to skirt round it.

So, what do you say to to shut 'em up for good?

oh they keep changing it and i can't worrk it out.

I know what reading band 4 other children are on in the class. they have see through reading folders so it is a bit difficult to keep it completely secret.

the thing with these threads is now I have the desire to go and find out what a cetain child is on... it is likechocolate. don't think about it until it is right infrront of you. .. aaaaaaaaaggggggggghhhh

How weird Devora- once you have asked them what good does it do? I have never been remotely interested. They all learn in the end and you can't tell later on whether they were fluent at 5 yrs or 8yrs.
It is something parents grow out of ( in most cases) once they get to about 7 yrs, if not sooner.

once you have asked them what good does it do?
Exactly!

Why don't you stare at them in horror and say 'Reading????' Are they supposed to be reading????'

You could always ask whether they are asking about English, French or Chinese.

We have a colour band system & I never have any idea what colour DC book are on with out looking. So "I don't know" would be the wittiest I could come up with.

The parent who asks me doesn't do it because she is worried about her child's level. She has blatantly said "there is nothing like a bit of competition." :( I was present at meeting when we were all told our reception children are doing really well.

I genuinely don't understand why you mind telling someone who asks.

Are you embarrassed?

I don't really mind someone being curious, you want some confirmation that your child is progressing relatively well, a glance at MN threads reveals why lots of us don't quite trust teachers to give full picture.
I have it in my head that typical age to click with reading is 6-6.5yo, so that's my own standard to look out for. Can they read with minimal fluency at that age.
No one has ever asked me, though, about DC reading levels. I must be Very Scarey.

I laugh and say " I have really no idea for me it is so much more important that dd3 is enjoying school levels means so little at this age" at this point they generally are nodding like silly and looks slightly embarrassed before they start talking about how much THEIR little child is enjoying school.

Harder with swimming where it is obvious what level they are in from what group they go to. However again we go because ds enjoys it not because he is Olympic material

Have been asked once, in nearly 8 years of schooling, by a competitive mum, who I am convinced asked me because she thought her DC would be on a higher level - it turned out my DC was on a level 5 times higher than her DC and after a lot of mumbling and rambling toddled off and has never asked me since .

DD loves reading, anything, and will often come out of school with the latest book she has just chosen to show me. I feel embarrassed that some parents might be thinking I ASK her to bring it out for nosey fuckers to see but she genuinely justs wants to show me.

Hi Technoprisoner:

The only people that have asked have been good friends who were concerned about where their younger child was at and were asking me where my children were at for that age/ year group.

I think sometimes parents ask other parents because the teachers are so unwilling to explain whether your DC is working below/ at/ or above the level they should be for their age. It really can be like pulling eye teeth to get this basic information out of a teacher - which seems bizarre to me (although I'm sure there's some highly researched pedagogical explanation for this lack of communication).

Personally because I had to work out very slowly that DD1 was way behind where she should be (because the school kept saying 'she's doing fine', 'things will pick up next year', 'children develop at their own speeds', etc... - I'm more than happy to talk about our situation in KS1 with people.

I had one strong reader (DD2) and one weak reader (DD1) and generally I tend to be fairly confident that most children will be working at a level somewhere in between. In general I don't completely follow book bands (and school does it's own thing as well) - but we discuss the books they were reading then and usually they can gauge whether their DC is reading at or above that level.

I usually say that if they're worried about it - maybe the solution is to start reading other books than just what the school sends home. I personally think boredome with endless Kipper and Chip books can be part of the problem for some children. And I've found that some children have 'crazes' - perhaps dinosaurs or princesses - and selecting books that feed into that is a great help.

HTH

I genuinely don't understand why you mind telling someone who asks.

Are you embarrassed?

This is the part that I don't understand. Why on earth would you be embarrassed? Are you a terrible mummy if your DC isn't advanced in reading? Is this what competitive parenting is all about-your DC has to do above average to reflect your parenting skills?

My 3 DCs were all different. One was very young to read, one average and one very late. No one could look at them now and tell which was which. I certainly wasn't embarrassed! How strange some people are!!
If I wanted to tell them I would-but it was hardly interesting and I certainly wouldn't tell them if they asked.

I tell them! I don't mind being asked at all.

I genuinely don't understand why people find other people's children so interesting.

mrz - it's because they mistake a child's early reading ability for intelligence. They'll learn in time!

'dunno, she flies through them so quickly, I can't keep track'

People like to take in interest in how their child is progressing in relation for the 'norm' for their group, I suppose. I don't see how that is hard to understand? Whether it's a valid measure or not is another thing of course.

a non existent colour, like "beige" or "taupe" or even say "triangles" or "Woodpeckers" which will fox em

DD1 was a free reader in Reception. There was one mother that I caught going through DD1's book bag - not only looking at the book, but going through the home/school diary as well. I didn't usually pick up DD1 from school, so I guess she thought she was safe. I crept up behind her and asked "Can I help you with something?" She looked horrified, and initially blustered that she thought it was her DD's bag - unlikely as the names were above the pegs and the bag was under the coat.

I just stood there with my arms folded while she put everything away. When she had finished, she said "Your daughter can't possibly be reading this already. You work full time, it's not like you can be spending any time with her to read with her." I just said that this was the book she had chosen to read, and the mother shuffled off muttering.

(Although DD1 could pick what she wanted to read, she did often come home with the dreaded Floppy, Biff and Chip and the Magic Key, as she wanted to read the same as her friends.)

DD2's reading was quite a different story...

I alternate between two answers, depending on how often that week I have been asked by the same person...
" no idea, but that's because I am a very bad mummy" said with completely straight face ( very easy because I actually do have no idea)
" actually I'm just glad they can both walk and talk and can go to school, I am not worried about reading yet" also completely genuine answer

"I can't remember, Biff, Chip and Kipper bore me at all levels"

I've only ever been asked by friendly mums who are just concerned about their own child's reading - they are always embarrassed to ask, and its never been about dd or me, just about their own child (so they are asking the wrong question, really).

Therefore, I don't mind and just tell them. I would probably tell anyone, then say 'why?' And see what they come up with.

Not sure why I wouldn't want to tell them

But random nosiness, if that's what it really is, sounds annoying.

I'm not sure. They tend to be about some children with odd names and a dog called Floppy. Does that help? What about yours?