Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 11 12

Original poster

Low Aspirations

294 replies

IndigoBell · 25/04/2012 19:28

Bloody hell I'm cross.

Why do teachers have such low aspirations?

How dare DDs teacher be happy with her attainment. Happy - as in rushed out of school to tell me how well she'd done in her latest test.

On track to almost get a C at GCSEs - and he's happy :(

I hate school. Every bit of it.

There is no expectation that children will do well - only that they'll make a set amount of progress each year.

Children are always told they're brilliant and wonderful - they're never told they're not doing well and they're actually going to have to work hard if they want to achieve something.

No expectations that a child will do well :(

The culture here sucks.

School thinks it's better to have a failing happy child - then a child who works hard :(

But because they make school so fun and engaging she refuses to let me take her out and teach her at home :(

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

maizieD · 25/04/2012 19:55

Calm down, dear

I can only speak for the school I work in, but we have high expectations for all our pupils and our teachers work their socks off to get them to achieve the very best they can. They may come to us with a nominal target (based on KS2 SATs) but we set an 'aspirational' target above that, which we are constantly working with pupils to achieve. And many do.

Your dd's teacher can only report on what she is expected to achieve, given her current levels, but that is not to say that the current school or her secondary, should be complacent about it. It's in their interests, too, to have pupils exceed targets.

mrz · 25/04/2012 20:00

Personally I would rather have a happy successful child but I do think some teachers (and parents ) have low expectations as I've ranted about today

jubilee10 · 25/04/2012 20:00

Actually I think having a happy child is very important.

nightswimmer · 25/04/2012 20:02

School fun and engaging! Child rushing out to you happily! Hell's teeth that's distressing. You're quite right to want to put an end to that.

Sunscorch · 25/04/2012 20:05

I... what?

Original poster

IndigoBell · 25/04/2012 20:07

Sorry - I forgot to clarify. She hasn't met her target for the year. She's only made 1 sublevel, and she was targeted (along with every other child in the whole school) 2 sublevels.

So, why is he happy? He should be apologetic.

How on earth can I tutor her out of school when she's so tired after school and she doesn't think she needs it

OP posts:

nightswimmer · 25/04/2012 20:08

What? That was sarcasm obviously. How nice to have a happy engaged child having fun at school!

Sunscorch · 25/04/2012 20:11

(Sorry, Nightswimmer, I was just responding to the opening post, not yours :) )

Sunscorch · 25/04/2012 20:13

Indigo, there's virtually a full term left of school. And it's a long term, at that.

All progress should be praised and celebrated.

Would you want your child coming home tired and upset because she'd put a lot of effort in at school, but only made a little progress instead of a lot?

omydarlin · 25/04/2012 20:17

Sorry am confused what year is your daughter in OP? If we are at GCSE Level perhaps it's time for you to step back and consider some other way to ensure the progress you feel she needs - maybe share tutoring with a close friend ?

olibeansmummy · 25/04/2012 20:21

I love how you generalise all schools and teachers and even children based on your own experiences in every post...

bowerbird · 25/04/2012 20:21

Indigo I sympathise totally. I've been accused of being a "tiger mother" because I expect my DC to do well at school, and to work hard. I have high aspirations for my DC.

I also want her to be happy.

What gets me is the idea that you can either have happy children or achieving children. Why not happy kids who work hard and achieve their absolute best?

bowerbird · 25/04/2012 20:27

Sunscorch you raise an interesting point about praise. TBH I'm not sure that "all progress should be praised and celebrated".

Don't you ever feel that we overpraise our kids? And that perhaps it's not making them as resilient as we'd like?

Just a question. Have read some interesting research about this.

exoticfruits · 25/04/2012 20:28

The fact that she wants to stay at school shows that she probably wouldn't respond well to the 'tiger mother' approach -and she knows it.

Original poster

IndigoBell · 25/04/2012 20:36

If she came home upset that she wasn't achieving, then at least she'd be motivated to put in extra work at home.

The reason she doesn't do well is because nobody expects her to.

As long as she does as badly as everyone else on her table the teachers happy.

It's not right.

OP posts:

FruitPastillesForever · 25/04/2012 20:43

indigo, i completely agree with you. Learning and fufilling your potential is hard work.

Sunscorch · 25/04/2012 20:47

Don't you ever feel that we overpraise our kids? And that perhaps it's not making them as resilient as we'd like?

Not really. Most of the children who underachieve in my class at the moment would be lucky if they got a smile from their parent or carer.
It is my job to make them feel good when they do well, and feel bad when they should have done better.
And of course, all in proportion to their effort and achievement.

bowerbird · 25/04/2012 20:48

I know a lot of MNers sneer at "tiger mothers" generally (though what they object to I'm not sure).

While some of the methods might be too extreme there is something really positive about the whole tiger mother thing and it's a common cultural attitude in China and Korea. It's that the expectations are extremely high because parents believe that their children are capable of just about anything. There's no such concept as "more able" or "less able" or "bright" or "not academic". Achievement is down to effort and hard work. I think it's a hugely liberating attitude.

Sunscorch · 25/04/2012 20:49

If she came home upset that she wasn't achieving, then at least she'd be motivated to put in extra work at home.

Really?
In my experience, if children put a lot of effort into something and are told that it isn't good enough, they're more likely to give up and resign themselves to being "bad at" maths.

And you can't say that she isn't putting any effort in, because she is making progress. Which, as you've said, requires effort by definition.

Sunscorch · 25/04/2012 20:50

I think it's a hugely liberating attitude.

Not for the children who do nothing but study to avoid severe and disproportionate punishment...

LynetteScavo · 25/04/2012 20:51

I strongly believe that in the long run (talking careers here) children achieve what is expected of them by their parents.

FruitPastillesForever · 25/04/2012 20:52

Why is the OP being compared with a tiger mother? She only wants her dd to achieve he potential at gcse... It's not an extreme wish.

omydarlin · 25/04/2012 20:52

I like the idea bowerbird I really do it's an interesting concept to me - but there is always this thing at the back of my mind - what if you push and push but there is this optimum level that your child can achieve at that given point in time? Otherwise surely all children could just be taught to be brilliantly academic? Genuinely interested.

FruitPastillesForever · 25/04/2012 20:54

Pushing and pushing for levels way above and beyond can obviously be problematic but in this case it sounds reasonable.

FruitPastillesForever · 25/04/2012 20:55

I think some credit needs to be given to the OP perception and understanding of her child.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 11 12