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Primary education

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Original poster

How serious is hitting in reception?

115 replies

maydaychild · 23/01/2012 17:28

DC is in reception with a boy who is nasty. He was nasty at pre school too. He isn't special needs.

Last week he hit a girl and pinched a boy.
Today he hit my DC and another boy.
I saw the boy and his parent being led into the classroom by teacher on Friday. I though 'oh good, it's being dealt with'.

But it clearly hasn't been. Today it was the turn of my DC, who is ok, not overly bothered or hurt but I am worried.

At what point should I and fellow parents kick up a stink?

OP posts:
Original poster
maydaychild · 23/01/2012 22:39

Lost faith in school after a term and after tonight, the same could be said for MN
(well except one or too)

OP posts:
MerryMarigold · 23/01/2012 22:41

Wait till your kid hits an issue, it's going to be a loooong fall from where you are right now, lady!

Kewcumber · 23/01/2012 22:43

"There is no way my child would have the audacity to continue hitting if called in to see the teacher. I have faith in my parenting."

So my child hit and continue to hit because my parenting was crap? Hmm

There is not a character assassination (in my mind). Some of us have experience of both sides of this coin and have pointed out that if your child is not (by your account) that bothered then we would leave it for the school to deal with and not be making a big issue about it at this stage.

dikkertjedap · 23/01/2012 22:45

To me this all confirms the total moral and social breakdown in British society. It is the world upside down and it is not going to get any better. How sad.

Original poster
maydaychild · 23/01/2012 22:45

Seeing as you have done such a good job judging me, what sort of issues are likely to crop up?

OP posts:
Original poster
maydaychild · 23/01/2012 22:46

Yes kew, I can see that in this situation.
God forbid anything else happens.
Shall we elope Dikk?

OP posts:
ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 23/01/2012 22:49

He's 4 - he needs help not time out or other punishments. Something is making him lash out - hopefully the school are working on it so that he's happy at school, and at home.

As for your DS - he's not bothered. Save your worrying and hand wringing over 'what to do' for if/when he is hurt... and while you're there, thank fuck it's not you that has the child with a problem & remember that they are 4 (at the most just turned 5) - he's lashing out for a reason.

Original poster
maydaychild · 23/01/2012 22:50

So kew what reasons did your DC continue hitting?
I am not going to befriend this hitting child or his parents. I am not gossiping about them.
I can't see the other side of their coin.
But I don't think it's as tragic as made out on here.

OP posts:
NellieForbush · 23/01/2012 22:52

OP I'm really surprised at the responses on here. I would be worried too as what you are describing seems to be ongoing (or maybe escalating). I would be worried even if my child wasn't because if this behaviour continues she would not want to go to school (and I can't say I'd blame her).

I think its relevant that other children have been hit - this is how you know its not a one off. While I wait for dd I often hear children running out and telling their parents what they did today. Not sure why this is so astounding to festi.

Posters seem to be saying the child may have special needs in which case it's ok... Perhaps I've misunderstood?

Fairenuff seems to have a good suggestion or speak to the teacher and tell her your concerns.

MamaMaiasaura · 23/01/2012 22:52

Mayday - you sound like your rallying a fucking lynch mob Sad Angry I really am glad that you aren't befriending the boy and his mum as I think that would be awful for them.

This thread has actually made me feel relieved that so many other parents try and look at bigger picture and show some compassion.

MamaMaiasaura · 23/01/2012 22:53

You're not your

Fairenuff · 23/01/2012 22:55

The school does have a duty of care to keep all the children safe. They will be putting strategies into place to improve this child's behaviour.

If it doesn't improve and children are getting hurt by him, the school is likely to put him on a restricted timetable, which could mean having his playtime at a different time to the rest of the class so that they can all play in safety and without fear.

If it really is a big problem, OP, you can be assured that the teacher is aware and is dealing with it. You will only be informed if it involves your child which, hopefully, it won't. But if it does, then you have a right to ask what is being done about it.

It's not ok for children to hit each other but it takes some children longer than others to control those emotions that make them behave inappropriately. This is part of the learning which goes on in school, particularly Key Stage 1 and even more so in reception. It is covered under the subject PSHE.

festi · 23/01/2012 22:55

ok the only mistake i have made is a misplaced s in my postings, i take that and accept that but op you dont seem to accept in any way your post comes across as it does. and it is always easie to correct someonesles mistakes in a way o detract our own misgivings.

Original poster
maydaychild · 23/01/2012 22:56

Sorry kew just realised you resolved your situation. I hope this happens for us.

OP posts:
dikkertjedap · 23/01/2012 22:56

Unfortunately OP you either have money and put your child in private education, where this type of behaviour is not tolerated, your child can feel safe and is likely to flourish. Alternatively, you have to put up with the state system, your child might be hit/bitten/spat at on a regular basis (or worse in some cases), be put off school at a young age, be overlooked in large classes because (s)he is well behaved and the teachers spend most of their time on the disruptive children, don't live up to his/her abilities etc. That's what you pay your taxes for. It is shocking, totally shocking. This is the most divided and fundamentally unfair and uncaring society I have ever lived in, and it is getting worse every year. As far as I am concerned, I will be leaving soon as I do not wish to be part of this mess.

Original poster
maydaychild · 23/01/2012 23:00

Yes, fairenough has given me great advice and I shall this policy

OP posts:
Original poster
maydaychild · 23/01/2012 23:01

*request

OP posts:
southeastastra · 23/01/2012 23:02

kids whack each other

end of

NellieForbush · 23/01/2012 23:03

The child in question may be having a shit time at home. Or he may just be naughty because he's not learnt about discipline and boundaries. Either way I'm sympathetic, he's going to have a hard time. But my real sympathy is with the rest of the class.

I hope this blows over quickly mayday and that you have a good teacher to deal with it.

bebanjo · 23/01/2012 23:07

My DD is 5, on Saturday we had her friend over for 2 hrs. The two of them hit, scratched and threw things at each other about 3 times each in that time, i did not make a point of telling the lads mum, did not see the point ether way. they said sorry to each other and said they wanted to be friends and play. kids are that, kids. maybe some never hit any other child, i would like to meet them.

Heswall · 23/01/2012 23:09

We moved schools after one little cherub shoved my DD down three concrete steps causing her to have stitches in her head. It was the final straw. The jist is there is nothing the schools can do about these children so my advice is tell your DC not to throw the first punch but make sure the second is a good one.
Sorry if the child is reacting out of special needs or whatever but theres no excuse for using another DC as a punch bag and the child needs to know that.

Original poster
maydaychild · 23/01/2012 23:09

Come meet mine bebanjo! Not hit anyone since aged 3 when we taught it wasnt a nice thing to do.
I don't know any 4/5 yr olds that hit except thee one in question on the thread.

OP posts:
TheSecondComing · 23/01/2012 23:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dikkertjedap · 23/01/2012 23:11

This is a divided society, unfortunately maydaychild, well behaved kids seem to be in a minority in state schools.

Heswall · 23/01/2012 23:14

Spitting, kicking and hitting ? Wheres he learnt that ? I have 4 children, have known 90 classmates from reception and have never heard of a spitting incident. Vile.