Should I speak to the teacher?

[skewiff]

DS started school in September. He's in reception.

I got called into the class room once at the beginning of term by the teacher and she told me in front of DS what he'd been in trouble for. I didn't like her manner at the time. It was bullying and she was aggressively saying to my son over and over, look at me. He was looking away at the wall.

Today the same thing happened. DS had said he didn't want to help tidy up in the morning and then said that he wouldn't put his coat on in the playground to her.

This time she was telling me what he had done and he was smiling (I am sure it was nerves and fear). She aggressively kept saying 'stop smiling, its not funny' - but he kept on smiling. Then she was bending down - again - saying look at me, look at me.

I felt so told off (even though it was DS being told off). I felt nervous and intimidated.

The trouble is she is the most experienced teacher in reception at the school. She is the one that trains the other teachers.

I want to go and speak to her and say that I didn't like the way in which she spoke to DS. And that speaking to him in that way is not the way to get the best out of him. It just puts his back up.

Am I being oversensitive?

The statement should indicate the level of 1-1 support and for what purpose.
I use pupil profiles rather than IEPs which have a picture of the child and relevant information regarding the child's needs difficulties and strengths ans a clear indication of what is needed and who will help.

I have sent in notes requesting that everybody be told what we are striving for- but who knows whether they all have received it.

this is the sort of thing that concerns me as I would have though with a statement, you should have a review inwhich the expectations and support is clearly set out and you are able to discuss exactly what you are striving for.

The bad pratcise you quote of calling his hand the 'bad' hand is simply unacceptable!

We are having a review of the statement, supposedly. It says this in the statement. I will check this with SENCO.

Also I'll talk about IEPs. I had, foolishly, been holding off about this, waiting to see if they came up with anything. But so far IEPs have not been mentioned.

The statement does not indicate the level of 1-1 support. They were really resistant to quantifying anything - money saving, I know. I should have pushed, but did not have the energy for things like tribunal, and the statement officer was very strong willed and hard to fight. I fought enough just to get physio, OT and SALT quantified. Now OT are telling me that they have one staff member for the whole borough and so their policy is to not send anyone into any schools (so the statement is worthless here), SALT have practically discharged DS even though I'm sure he does need some sort of input (he dribbles excessively, this is just one point). But every time I speak to SALT they tell me he is on target and doing fine with his speech and that a quarterly review is fine.

I must sound pathetic, as though I don't fight enough. But I have to save energy for what is really helpful for my son. So we find private therapies, that do help immensely and I put all my energy into those.

I don't know why I'm defending myself now. None of you have questioned how good a mum I'm being. I just feel like I'm letting DS down by not having been on the ball enough.

I must sound pathetic, as though I don't fight enough

Good gracious no!! i have a friend who is a deputy head and had to go through the system to get his son statemented as he is on the autistic spetrum.

He said afterwards that is was so very stressful and hard to push for...and that's he he felt knowing how the process worked. he really had a new respect for parents who had to go through this without the insider knowledge and the confidence to push hard.

You sound like a great mum