DD2's teacher STILL can't spell her name??!!

[RiaMelia]

Hi, I'm new here, this is my first post :) Sorry it's so long, but wanted to expain properly.

To start at the beginning, DD2 has just started year 1 at the same school she was at for reception. DD2 has a fairly uncommon but not unheard of name, and although it is not spelled the 'usual way', it is still a perfectly legitimate spelling. We went for the less usual spelling partly because DH and I felt there was room for teasing with the usual spelling, and partly because my mum is from Honduras and the less usual spelling is Spanish. Last year in reception we had no problems at all, her name was always spelled correctly, etc.

This year, DD2 came home from first day of reception very upset and told me that her new teacher could not spell her name. I told DD2 not to be silly, was probably just a handwriting thing. But sure enough, when I took DD2's reading diary out of her bag, the teacher has written her name on the front with the wrong spelling. Apparently it was the same story with her peg, tray, etc. But last year DD2's name was always spelled correctly, and the data collection form we had sent home at the end of reception definitely had the correct spelling of her name (DH and I have dug out the photocopy we have at home to check, definitely the correct spelling). So we figured it must be the teacher spelling her name wrong.

So the next day I had a word with DD2's teacher, explained calmly that DD2's name is spelled X way not Y way. Teacher gave me a funny look, so I explained that DD2's name is a perfectly legitimate spelling, just less common. Teacher was very apologetic and changed name tags etc in the classroom so DD2's name was spelled correctly. Problem solved.

Expect that in DD2's reading/homework diary, teacher continued spelling DD2's name wrong, the same way as before . And according to DD2, when she marked her work she still spelled her name wrong, eg, well done 'wrong spelling'. I didn't want to get off to a bad start with the teacher so early on in the year so told DD2 (who is normally really rubbish about speaking up) to put up her hand and tell the teacher gently that she is still spelling her name wrong when she gets her book back and notices this, and if by the end of the second week this mistake was still happening then DH and I would go in to speak to the teacher.

Well, halfway through the second week the teacher went off on sick leave (personal reasons) and still wasn't back by half term. So DD2 has had a supply teacher, who has had no trouble at all spelling her name correctly, therefore there was no issue.

This week, teacher was back, and like before, is STILL spelling DD2's name wrong despite it now being spelled correctly on the front of all her books (DD2 has verified this and is usually very reliable, so am inclined to believe her). Now we don't know exactly why the teacher has been off although there is rumour about the playground that she had a miscarriage, in which case my heart goes out to her and I accept that allowances may have to be made for her for a little while. But surely it's not too much to expect her to spell DD2's name correctly?

DD2 was very upset about this again during the week and quite frankly I don't blame her, so I promised her I would go and speak to the teacher again today after school if we didn't have her name written correctly in her reading diary by then. Well, the TA who wrote a comment about something unconnected this week seems to have managed the right spelling, but when the teacher listened to her read yesterday and wrote in her diary once again she spelled DD2's name wrong. So as promised, when I collected DD2 today I went in for a chat, explained once again (perfectly polite and calm!) that she was spelling DD2's name wrong. At which the teacher promptly burst into tears, said she is fed up of parents like me hassling her over such petty things, particularly when she is having such a difficult time at the moment and that I don't understand how hard her job is, before running from the classroom and leaving a baffled TA to escort DD2 and I out. No, really

So what on earth do I do now?

Sorry, second paragraph should start 'DD2 came home from first day of Year 1 not reception.

Is it Isabelle/Isobel?

Anyway, that's not important

What's happened usually in these cases is that the school admin holds lists of names and that's where you need to direct your request that the correct spelling of the name is held/amended if neccessary

So a note, not to teacher but to school office/secretary to clarify spelling

Dd is called Daisy.

She is in Yr 3 in Italy, and her teachers still can't spell her name either.

It's no biggie though, and as I chose an uncommon name for my daughter it's my problem (if I choose to think of it as a problem)

In your situation it sounds like the teacher is already having a hard enough time of it. Whilst she may be expected to learn how to spell your daughter's name, is she a decent teacher? Does your daughter like her? Does she enjoy school? That is, at the end of the day,what matters.

I'm sorry, but regardless of what personal problems the teacher is having, it is ridiculous that you are having to still ask for her to spell your daughters name.

It diesnr matter how it's spelt, if it's unusual, whatever. It's your daughters name and should be spelt correctly. What sort of impression us she giving to your daughter and others about the importance of spelling?

Frankly, it sounds like the teacher is not coping very well but that is not your problem. I would speak to her 'boss' and explain the situation and what happened the other day. They should be made aware.

Oh my goodness.

I think you have been very reasonable, and I am a bit shocked that a teacher really thinks that spelling a child's name incorrectly is a 'petty thing'.

To be honest I have no idea what you do now ?

Too late to do anything till Monday, can you go in earlier and take the teacher aside and have a chat ? Just mention that whilst you appreciate that she may be having a very difficult time, and you are very sorry, it is equally difficult for your DD who has consistently had her name spelt wrong. (Not on the same scale as miscarriage for an adult, I appreciate, but it is a very big deal for you and DD.)

I wouldn't make too much of a fuss, but just gently get your point across.

HTH

I think it's rude that she has continued to spell your DDs name wrong after being corrected countless times. Her personal problems bear no relation to this.

I am intrigued to know what your DDs name is though

You need to speak to the teacher again, and I would stres that it is your DD getting upset about it.

Apologies for lots of spelling mistakes in my post, I'm on my phone with a toddler on one knee and a cat on the other!

My name was spelt incorrectly throughout school and it is annoying, but I dont think it is the end of the worls. Yes, she should be spelling her name correctly, but there are clearly other issues here. I would talk to the head about your last chat with the teacher, it sounds to me like she needs some support.

Me too missmapp. My 'ei' was often spelt 'ie' and sometimes an extra 'r' slotted in for good measure. My mum explained that some people spelt it those ways and I never gave it a second thought. An aunt of mine still spells it wrong after 55 years!

It does sound like the teacher is having a tough time, but equally she should be spelling your DD's name correctly, especially as her attention has been drawn to it a few times now.

Oh dear. Very sad if the teacher is having a hard time but without wishing to sound harsh that shouldn't stop her from spelling your DD's name right or being able to have a calm conversation with you about it.

It does sound as though she isn't coping, and I'm sure she'll have an awful weekend thinking about the way she reacted when she's calmed down a bit. I suspect she'll either make sure she gets the spelling right from now on or decide that she's not up to being back at work yet and take a bit more time off.

I really wouldn't go to the Head about it, I think the teacher needs to be cut a bit of slack at the moment. The TA will probably let someone know that she's struggling and reacted in the way she did. Or the teacher herself will tell a senior colleague. Maybe try to have a quiet word with her next week, but I wouldn't give her a hard time.

I'd be tempted to talk to another teacher (maybe head or deputy).

This teacher is, for whatever reason, not coping. She has told you as much. I think she may need extra help and support, because she is speaking strangely, getting things out of proportion (if she can't see that your name is pretty damned important) and bursting into tears when handling a routine parent/teacher interaction.

I'd do this discreetly, and ask for it to be in confidence. And soon - I wouldn't want this situation to continue.

Then let the school handle it, in terms of wider support.

At the same time, you need to support DD about her name. She'll know by now that there are variant spellings and it may be in her best interests if she can learn ways to deal with disappointment/annoyance without becoming so upset.

And I'd also cross out every single occurrence of her misspelt name in her books and write in the correct version (won't actually help, but it would make me feel better).

My name was always spelt wrong.

I would speak to the teacher - at the end of the day, whatever the reasons were that she was off, she's back at work now and it's just plain rude to keep spelling your DD's name wrong.

Btw, our primary Head got DD's name wrong for 7 years-and it was bloody annoying- so I think you were right to raise it

Take a red pen to the mistakes and correct them with a note must try harder next time

That'll learn her!

I'd be annoyed with this too. Drives me crazy when people spell my name wrong. This happened a few times one year and I repeatedly and pointedly crossed out the wrong spelling and wrote the correct one above it. She soon got the hint

Just a thought, if she is in a really bad way, you may not have to 'do' anything ?

You may go in Monday to find she has been given some leave and perhaps will receive an apology for her reaction from the TA/HT ?

DD has a commonish name but has the traditional spelling. Her Preschool always spell it wrong and I point it out every time.

It may mean that they dont like me, but they might get the hint.

I can see that your DD and you are upset that her name has been spelt wrong by her teacher, but if she gets upset every time anyone spells her name wrong, she will have a very sad life. DD's name can be spelt a few different ways, but she doesn't get upset about it. DD is 15 now, so there have been lots of opportunities for wrong name spelling. We just laugh as it's even some good friends who still do it .

So long as the teacher is doing a good job of teaching this is should not be high up on your list of priorities.

I see how it would be hard for teachers to learn all the different spellings of the kids names, but I don't see how it can happen when they've an aide memoire on the front cover label. Surely you'd just flick the page back before you wrote in the book.

Sounds a lot like she's too fragile to have returned to her post though. I'd be inclined to leave it a bit and see if she gets back on track before you escalate.

DD2's name is Leticia- teacher is spelling it 'Laetitia', which she claims is the 'real' version- think she might think we made DD2's name up . If it was something like Isabel/Isabelle Hollie/Holly then I might forgive her (particularly as there are 2 Isabelles and an Isabel in the class and an Isabella in the other class!) but DD2 is the only Leticia in both her year and DD1's year, most likely in the school as there aren't many of them around. And have spoken to mums of the Isabelles/Isabels about this in the playground to see if they were having the same issue- teacher is managing their names just fine

Thing is, Dh and I checked with the office, and they have the correct spelling. It is just the teacher who cannot seem to get it right. We are actually having other problems with this teacher which I may post about in the future- we'll see how things go.

KatieMiddleton and mychilddoesntneedsleep- actually love that suggestion but think it might be asking for trouble!

Still debating what to do next- a bit worried about talking to the teacher again given today's reaction! Hoping you ladies might be right in thinking the school will be aware that she's not coping and take action but still- agree it's not sending DD2 the best message about spelling importance! Tempted to speak to the head but aware that the teacher is having a tough time, but surely DD2 has to come first ?

I don't agree Judy.

It's quite easy to ensure you spell someone's name correctly.

When it's been pointed out that it's been spelled wrong, it's bad manners to continue to spell it wrong.

Is it 'spelled' or 'spelt' by the way?

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but if your daughter is getting 'extremely upset' about her name being spelt wrong then she needs to toughen up a bit. It's hardly the end of the world. And she might need to get used to it if it is an unusual spelling cos people will keep getting it wrong, that is just a fact.

My DH is 42 and hardly anyone spells his name right, even his grandma gets it wrong sometimes. Not a big deal imho. He only cries about it occasionally these days.