DD2's teacher STILL can't spell her name??!!

[RiaMelia]

Hi, I'm new here, this is my first post :) Sorry it's so long, but wanted to expain properly.

To start at the beginning, DD2 has just started year 1 at the same school she was at for reception. DD2 has a fairly uncommon but not unheard of name, and although it is not spelled the 'usual way', it is still a perfectly legitimate spelling. We went for the less usual spelling partly because DH and I felt there was room for teasing with the usual spelling, and partly because my mum is from Honduras and the less usual spelling is Spanish. Last year in reception we had no problems at all, her name was always spelled correctly, etc.

This year, DD2 came home from first day of reception very upset and told me that her new teacher could not spell her name. I told DD2 not to be silly, was probably just a handwriting thing. But sure enough, when I took DD2's reading diary out of her bag, the teacher has written her name on the front with the wrong spelling. Apparently it was the same story with her peg, tray, etc. But last year DD2's name was always spelled correctly, and the data collection form we had sent home at the end of reception definitely had the correct spelling of her name (DH and I have dug out the photocopy we have at home to check, definitely the correct spelling). So we figured it must be the teacher spelling her name wrong.

So the next day I had a word with DD2's teacher, explained calmly that DD2's name is spelled X way not Y way. Teacher gave me a funny look, so I explained that DD2's name is a perfectly legitimate spelling, just less common. Teacher was very apologetic and changed name tags etc in the classroom so DD2's name was spelled correctly. Problem solved.

Expect that in DD2's reading/homework diary, teacher continued spelling DD2's name wrong, the same way as before . And according to DD2, when she marked her work she still spelled her name wrong, eg, well done 'wrong spelling'. I didn't want to get off to a bad start with the teacher so early on in the year so told DD2 (who is normally really rubbish about speaking up) to put up her hand and tell the teacher gently that she is still spelling her name wrong when she gets her book back and notices this, and if by the end of the second week this mistake was still happening then DH and I would go in to speak to the teacher.

Well, halfway through the second week the teacher went off on sick leave (personal reasons) and still wasn't back by half term. So DD2 has had a supply teacher, who has had no trouble at all spelling her name correctly, therefore there was no issue.

This week, teacher was back, and like before, is STILL spelling DD2's name wrong despite it now being spelled correctly on the front of all her books (DD2 has verified this and is usually very reliable, so am inclined to believe her). Now we don't know exactly why the teacher has been off although there is rumour about the playground that she had a miscarriage, in which case my heart goes out to her and I accept that allowances may have to be made for her for a little while. But surely it's not too much to expect her to spell DD2's name correctly?

DD2 was very upset about this again during the week and quite frankly I don't blame her, so I promised her I would go and speak to the teacher again today after school if we didn't have her name written correctly in her reading diary by then. Well, the TA who wrote a comment about something unconnected this week seems to have managed the right spelling, but when the teacher listened to her read yesterday and wrote in her diary once again she spelled DD2's name wrong. So as promised, when I collected DD2 today I went in for a chat, explained once again (perfectly polite and calm!) that she was spelling DD2's name wrong. At which the teacher promptly burst into tears, said she is fed up of parents like me hassling her over such petty things, particularly when she is having such a difficult time at the moment and that I don't understand how hard her job is, before running from the classroom and leaving a baffled TA to escort DD2 and I out. No, really

So what on earth do I do now?

YANBU to be annoyed by incorrect spelling. As others say, as a teacher you just learn the child's way. I've had many unusually spelled names in my class, and have seen many different versions of the same name. I may make a mistake in the first couple of weeks but no longer than that.

Obviously the teacher is having a very difficult time at the moment. I would suggest that if she isn't able to hold a fairly simple conversation with a parent, that she has returned from sick/compassionate leave too early and should perhaps still be at home. For all we know she may have been pressurised into returning early, or may have felt ready but then had a really bad week- it sounds as though you were the last of several parents to need a word. If she felt that she was being criticised just after she returned I can understand why it might have been too much to deal with.

Personally I would wait to see what happens next before approaching anyone else- the teacher will not forget your conversation. I would give it a couple of weeks and then remind her.

I am a bit puzzled about why so many people here have said persistent misspelling of one's name by a teacher is a petty or "not important". Is because it's not your own name? How would you feel if your name was Paula and your teacher kept spelling it Paul? Or if it was Clare and it was spelt as Clara? It is important - just wait till someone persistently does it to you....even with visual reminders elsewhere! I have known some bosses to do this to employees they didn't like, as a form of emotional bullying. (No, it wasn't done to me.)

But the teacher does seem stressed and troubled, so maybe it would be reasonable for RiaMelia or her DH to see the head about this - as you say, it's not the name per se (although if I were someone in charge - eg the Head- I would be concerned that something as fundamental as a pupil's name is being repeatedly "altered"), it is about the way she responded and other problems they have eoncountered. As far as I know, teachers and other professionals don't generally complain that "so many of you" are complaining about issues, petty or otherwise. When we take on the job, we accept that there are a lot of people to teach/attend to, and that means a lot of names and individuals. It's not the job of a private governess to just one pupil or one family.

FWIW, I thought Leticia was the more common spelling in this country, along with Letitia. Isn't Laetitia usually the French version?

It must take so much more effort to write Laetitia than Leticia. Very odd. My Mum is Letitia. The teacher clearly has a lot on her mind. I would express your concern to the head about the incident you described so they are aware of how stressed the teacher is. She's probably thoughtless/stressed rather than deliberately getting it wrong to prove a point - that would be really weird!

Oops, didn't mean to post my post twice! Was just trying to refresh the page.

Ckance? How do you say it? Leticia is lovely btw.

I'm also still wondering how you say Ckance, I've also had some interesting spellings but never that one!

But she hasn't let her know in writing, just to politely point out that the spelling is wrong and could she please change her name on the books.

It seems that all Riamelia has done is to change the name on the front of a book and told the teacher about the mis-spelling orally. When you're looking at loads of books, you normally know whose home reading diary it is by the conversation in it. I rarely have to look at the name on the front. And when you're told something like this orally, it is very easy to forget, particularly if the conversation took place 5 weeks ago.

I just think this is getting out of proportion and could be solved very simply with a letter.

Do it back at her, if her name is e.g. Miss Thompson, call out "Mrs Thomas....can I have a word; thanks for all your help Miss Thompinson" etc etc.

Give her a look when she (inevetably) corrects you

Um, haven't read the whole thread but as a teacher I have never spelt a child's first name wrong but one year I got a surname wrong a couple of times. It was an unusual variation, hard to pronounce and I just got it wrong. When you get something in your head it can be hard to put it right. I am in a bad place with ttc at the moment and, if I had just had a miscarriage, I'd be beside myself. Perhaps she has come back too early. Maybe she is finding it much harder than she expected. But I do feel for her. Teaching is Tough and Draining ( as well as lovely too!) and I'm sure she didn't mean to react like that, you maybe just bore the brunt. If it was me, I'd decide to reassure her that you aren't cross, but that it means a lot that it is right. If you decide to correct it in books maybe give her the heads up that you're going to do that. Please don't see the head . Once a parent shouted at me because her child had had the same book for two days and I'd just split up with my partner of ten years. I cried like a baby.

My 7 yr old DS has a traditional name with the more unusual spelling. It is still spelt wrong at times at his school. It really does not bother him or me when this hapopens.

Whereismywine, I think it would be ok to see the head in a sympathetic way. Not to complain but to point out that perhaps the teacher needs some support or additional time off. It could be that the teacher felt pressure to come back too soon and the OP going in to see the HT may make him/her realise that this member of staff needs more time.

Ohhhh lovingthecoast you could be onto something there! Teacher's surname is definitely French and Laetitia is the French spelling... hmm Have a friend who's a TA at the school, may do some digging...
schnitzelvoncrumm- really like that idea, thanks!

Just to clarify- it was the teacher who changed the name labels to the correct spelling, not me! She was very apologetic and did that without a fuss when I explained that 'Leticia' is a form of the name, which makes it all the odder really. And DD2's name is spelled correctly on the class register and has been from the start of term- I checked with the teacher the first time I mentioned it, when she changed the name labels. Hmm...

gah i just read the whole thread and I NEED to know how to pronounce ckance!

cee-kance?

kancee?

Roy?

OP, you are not being unreasonable. I would start correcting it every single time

You're right coast, a supportive visit might be ok. But a supportive squeeze on the shoulder to the teacher and an 'are you ok' might be appreciated more? Or maybe I'm just a big softie. Both my nephews have Japanese names. No one ever spells them right and they all laugh about it. Not trying to make light, just saying

The problem with a squeeze on the shoulder may be that if she has suffered a MC or bereavement then she simply may not be able to cope with someone she barely knows being so tactile with her.

Of course, it may not be a MC or bereavement. It may be that she is going through a divorce or splitting up from a long-term partner or simply that she is suffereing from severe stress or depression which means she isn't coping at work. Whatever the reason, she clearly needs some space and support and her unprofessional outburst proves that she really shouldn't be in the classroom just yet.

What is ckance??

Let's not assume it's a miscarriage. Could be lots of other things troubling the teacher - money, relationship problems, illness, etc. Sounds like she might need a bit more time off. I don't think a chat with the head or deputy head would be a bad thing - we can be humane adults here, pointing out when another person is troubled and needing more support.

I guess my own needs/wants aren't necessarily those of others. The trouble is, the pressure to be in work, because supply cover is so expensive, is HUGE at school. My head picked me up from home when I was recovering from salmonella and sectioned off a childrens toilet for me to use, because supply budget was exhausted. I kid you not! I had three days off for stress after the break up and was called every day to see if I was coming in the next day. It's hard. In 11 years they were the only days I missed. Maybe not all schools are the same but after a spell off, the pressure to return would have been immense. I really don't express any form of disagreeing on mn usually but this just struck a chord. I really doubt the head would encourage more sick leave. I feel sad writing that and hope I'm wrong.

Chance?

it IS important. Ive spend my childhood with peopke " correcting" my name

Loni Lony Lonni Lonny Lennie Lenny apparently Lonnie is wrong.. we its whats on my birth certificate In the Uk I also have to have a regular conversation about if it is a boy or a girl name (err ever heard of unisex????)

My mother doesnt spell my oldest name right (forgets the silent o) and calls dd3 for fifi (Aoife) both girls (13 and almost 8) get upset about this. Frankly it irritates me SHE gave her child a name that was hard to spell why cant she make an effort for names she finds hard?

We have had this conversation on spelling with 2 teachers both times it was a embarassed OMG im SO SORRY and it never happened again. that is what I would expect.

As for the poster whose dh doesnt mind his gran not spelling it wrong. well good for him but we are talking about a five year old girl here.. HUGE difference.

I like Aoife - it has a lovely sound. No excuse for misspelling it in this country as it originated in the same geographical region ......not like it's African or Japanese..... there are mnemonics to remind yourself which letters go where .....eg "An Orange In Fair Eden"?

not to my knowledge the only thing i have heard is "Aoife missing "u" always" (as all the other vovels are there) and neither does it tell us the order laughs

My name is always spelt wrong - my boss always does even when replying to emails when I have signed off with my name.
It doesn't bother me at all anymore. That is not relevant I realise.
I think whoever suggested somekind of blind spot has it right. I can imagine myself doing something like this completely unintentionally and I would be mortified to have caused any upset.

what are the other issues you are dealing with?#

agree teacher should spell name correctly - can't see why she is finding it so difficult. yes it's sad she is having a hard time but name spelling is such a basic thing to get right.