Fund-raisers that won't offend Muslim families

[MrsLadywoman]

My kids go to a secular state primary school in a multi-cultural area where just over 50 per cent of the children are from Muslim backgrounds. We are about to have a PSA meeting about fund-raising events and there have already been a few raised voices over certain suggestions, for example a roller disco (no music should be played), a barbecue (no pork, no wine) and a bingo night (no gambling). Could anyone offer any suggestions that won't offend?

Feenie I have nothing to apologise for. It is called freedom of speech. I didn't know you were a member of the thought police. This is a debating board.

You have your opinion and I have mine. You don't know me personally and in the same way I don't know you but you are blowing things out of proportion.

Alemci, you have had at least one deeply offensive post deleted. It isn't called freedom of speech, it's called racism. And MNHQ don't tolerate it.

I was going to suggest two BBQs we do this for vegetarians who don't want their food to come into contact with animal products. It's about considering other people's feeling and respect and a good lesson to show children.
Both sides have to accept that others may not share their ideas and respect the choices others make.
OP it is very difficult to please everyone and sometimes you have to settle for pleasing most people.

You mean you don't Feenie I don't think I have had any posts deleted but if i have I stand corrected.

I think we will have to agree to differ. Also I think if you spoke to many people who live in the area I do they would have a similar perspective on things.

To me the 'R' word is used if someone says something another person doesn't like. It is used to shut people up. We live in a democracy and have freedom of speech.

alemci Sat 22-Oct-11 14:54:42

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

yes you have

You mean you don't Feenie

No, I meant MNHQ don't tolerate racism - but of course I don't either

Also I think if you spoke to many people who live in the area I do they would have a similar perspective on things.

I am very glad I don't live where you do then!

To me the 'R' word is used if someone says something another person doesn't like. It is used to shut people up. We live in a democracy and have freedom of speech.

And again, you are mixing up freedom of speech with racism. It isn't freedom of speech to suggest asking people how long they have lived in this country before they are allowed an opinion. It's just offensive and prejudiced.

I wasn't suggesting you asked people how long they had lived here. that was tongue in cheek but I do think that you will find that some of the people who are making the requests not to have music etc have only been here relatively recently in the last 20 years'. I think there is no harm in listening to them but why shouldn't the other children be able to have their roller disco or bingo night.

If I went to live in another country I would have to abide by the way they did things and respected their culture. I don't think this is always happening in Britain today. I think relative newcomers have always been listened to and had their beliefs respected

Also my grandparents were immigrants but they went along with society and kept their heads down.

have only been here relatively recently in the last 20 years

The thing is with only having Halal meat is that a lot of people I know (myself included) would not attend a Barbecue if ONLY Halal meat was offered - there would be no point in me going as I would not eat the meat, as I feel that Halal meat is cruel. I have no problems with MUSLIMS eating Halal meat - but I do not want to eat Halal meat myself. So ONLY providing Halal meat is ALSO divisive! I know LOTS of people that refuse to eat Halal meat - at least a third of the parents at my school would refuse on ethical grounds.

So what is wrong with providing both Halal meat AND non-Halal meat? When that caters for EVERYONE - all it takes is two barbeques - which would be needed for any average-sized primary school anyway. Then the event is TRULY inclusive. To only cater for ONE section of the school is DIVISIVE.

IMO, and call me racist if you wish (I'm not - one of my dc has a pakistani muslim parent) but it seems to me that the ultra-conservative muslim parents on this PTA don't want to be inclusive - they will only be happy if everything is run the way THEY want. Which is not 'trying to foster a community around the school'.

This is why there are some primary schools now that do not have any pupils other than muslim pupils with ultra-conservative parents - because the british parents, or parents from other cultures, were NOT being made to feel included. Which is WRONG IMO.

Why can't there be a Diwali fair, an Eid fair, AND a Christmas fair, for example? And celebrations of major festivals for ALL cultures and religions present at the school? Our school has a high percentage of chinese pupils, and there is a huge celebration at the school for Chinese new year - they have chinese food that week for school dinners, they make red money pockets, they decorate a chinese lion, and make chinese lanterns. What is wrong with being PROPERLY inclusive, and thinking about celebrations from ALL the cultures at the school?

It's not a common problem at my DD's or DS's schools AFAIK. I'm rather surprised at the constraints here. Most of the Muslim parents I know would be equally perplexed I think, even those who are quite observant.

OP - where are you? How did your meeting go? I hope more constructively and respectfully than some of the posts on here!

"To me the 'R' word is used if someone says something another person doesn't like. It is used to shut people up. We live in a democracy and have freedom of speech"

Actually, in my experience, the "R" word is used if somebody says something racist.............