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Original poster

Fund-raisers that won't offend Muslim families

167 replies

MrsLadywoman · 19/10/2011 16:48

My kids go to a secular state primary school in a multi-cultural area where just over 50 per cent of the children are from Muslim backgrounds. We are about to have a PSA meeting about fund-raising events and there have already been a few raised voices over certain suggestions, for example a roller disco (no music should be played), a barbecue (no pork, no wine) and a bingo night (no gambling). Could anyone offer any suggestions that won't offend?

OP posts:
whatdoesthisbuttondo · 22/10/2011 12:55

"From Scotland to Cornwall, Britain is full of customs and traditions. A lot of them have very long histories. Some are funny and some are strange. But they're all interesting and are all part of the British way of life. Throughout this section of our website you will have the chance to discover many of our customs and traditions" A section from a school website. The website is www.woodlandsjunior.kent.sch.uk/customs/questions - can't find anything about Face palm though!

I think we're missing the point here though - someone has asked for help by coming on this website and asking for suggestions on how people from different faiths and cultures can enjoy and take part in a fund raising activity for the school. I'm not saying we need to apologise for British beliefs or customs which we do have, indeed it's a very sad day if traditions can't be passed down to children at school at the risk of upsetting others but I also feel it's the British way to respect and encourage other faiths and cultures to bring what they enjoy to the "table" so to speak. Perhaps naive but I salute the OP for asking for suggestions.

Feenie · 22/10/2011 13:02

So do I, since she recognises that 'our cultures and traditions' are many and varied, and include Islam and many other faiths.

The same website describes 'our' multi-faith society, whatdoesthisbuttondo, and does not describe our cultures and traditions as separate from Islam.

whatdoesthisbuttondo · 22/10/2011 13:12

Face Palm

SuePurblybiltFromBitsofCorpses · 22/10/2011 13:14

What? Hmm

ben5 · 22/10/2011 13:16

quiz night?

Feenie · 22/10/2011 13:20

Hinting a reason for your face palm might make you look less like someone who cannot handle reasoned debate, whatdoesthisbuttondo.

Only might, though. Wink

whatdoesthisbuttondo · 22/10/2011 13:29

Feenie It's respect - respect for the OP who doesn't want her thread hijacked into a what is British Cultre debate. I think we agree that no one faith or culture should be prevented in participating in any thing to do with school. More than happy to debate until the cows come home but don't think this is the place. If you want to start a thread elsewhere on what are "our" traditions and cultures I'll be more than pleased to read what you have to say. See you there? :-)

Feenie · 22/10/2011 13:36

I didn't hijack it - I stood up to people who tried to turn it into one, along with other posters. Go back and read the thread.

whatdoesthisbuttondo · 22/10/2011 13:54

Didn't say you did! Was responding to the "Hinting a reason for your face palm might make you look less like someone who cannot handle reasoned debate" comment. Reasoned debate on this thread would involve much toing and froing of opinion and I didn't think this the place to discuss British Culture and Traditions. I think you just like an argument Feenie - which I respect. There seems to be a fine line between debate on Mumsnet and all out attack. Debate does not require surrender on one side - a difference of opinion is healthy. There appears to be a "you don't like what your hearing so you've run away" mind set on this site - are "talkers to fight to the death or can they respectfully acknowledge they come from different sides of a coin? There you go - done exactly what I didn't want to do and taken focus away for OPs request - apologies

Feenie · 22/10/2011 14:04

I'm not going to ignore posts which I, and other posters, perceive to be prejuduced or which border on racism, just so that I don't deter from the OP. Shame on you if you think that not deviating from the main discussion is more important than challenging posts which are offensive.

MN is self-moderating - they rely on other posters to challenge views which offend people. This wouldn't happen if we all tiptoed around, trying our hardest to keep to the main discussion and ignoring any unpleasant and outrageous posts instead of standing up to them.

cazboldy · 22/10/2011 14:11

it's all about compromise.....on both sides (should there even be sides?)

I can understand pork on the bbq offending them, but then if all the meat was halal that would offend me!

whatdoesthisbuttondo · 22/10/2011 14:17

Feenie - I've hit a nerve here haven't I. I'm at a loss as to know how we can move on from this. I don't even know what you're arguing about now, is it the fact that I believe we should have inclusive activities at school? Is it that I think we should support British cultures and Traditions or is it that I didn't enter into an argument as I didn't want to take up the next couple of pages having a debate/argument or what ever you want to call it? I could explain myself to the end of the day but I feel you will still find a way of taking offence. I wish you well Feenie

Feenie · 22/10/2011 14:30

Whatdoesthisbuttondo - I took exception to alemci and YorkshireRobbo's posts, which had deeply unpleasant undertones. I was not the only person to do this. Alemci, in particular, was the recipient of my first MN facepalm, in response to referring to 'our' cultures and traditions. I made it clear why I objected.

You responded, quite reasonably, by highlighting a school website, and I answered you politely and reasonably.

And then you lost the plot.

But you could have read all that yourself, had you gone back and looked. You have made yourself look very strange to say the least by launching in at just one poster out of a few who objected to the undercurrents of racism from a couple of poster - using the odd argument that posters should not stand up to prejudice in case they upset the OP by deviating from the main discussion.

All Very Odd. Hmm

SuePurblybiltFromBitsofCorpses · 22/10/2011 14:32

"You have made yourself look very strange to say the least by launching in at just one poster out of a few who objected to the undercurrents of racism from a couple of poster - using the odd argument that posters should not stand up to prejudice in case they upset the OP by deviating from the main discussion."

This. Agree.Strongly.

alemci · 22/10/2011 14:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

Feenie · 22/10/2011 15:01

Yes - a racist one. Hmm

alemci · 22/10/2011 15:38

Feenie no not at all. just an opinion that I am sure alot of other people share. I don't like being called racist just because I have a different take on the situation but if you want to think that then fine.

Anyway Islam isn't a race its a religion and I am just challenging the train of thought that if people from this particular faith objects to something then we must appease it and change things to accommodate this.

as i stated previously no one has worried about offending other faiths over the years e.g. the Jews. Why are we so afraid of Islam.

Feenie · 22/10/2011 16:33

So you want the OP to go and ask the people concerned exactly how long they've been in the country, and were they born here.

And you're not racist - or prejudiced - at all, whatsoever.

Ooooo-kaaaaay then. Hmm

What the hell is the matter with MN today? Confused

nailak · 22/10/2011 16:48

alemci Sat 22-Oct-11 14:54:42
TBH how long have the parents who aren't so keen on the PTA fundraising actually been living here. were they born here or have they arrived in the last 10 years'.

The traditions i have mentioned have been going for donkey's years. We are tolerant and inclusive but I don't see why relatively new incomers should dictate. especially things like the disco which just irritate me. I am glad my own DC are not at primary school anymore.

OOH I do think the OP is being considerate and generous in a difficult situation.

I don't really understand the hand palm but I am just trying to put forward a different train of thought.

the majority of muslim parents at my dcs schools, me included were born here, and our parents/grandparents been here since the 60s btw

i think you will find that is the same nationwide, the newer immigrants would be somalians who arrived in the 90s, but that is still 20 years, and many of the somalian mothers with young children have been born here, or been here since infancy,

also bosnians / eastern europeans have arrived more recently.

alemci · 22/10/2011 17:44

yes Feenie i will get my clipboard out and go and ask them. I just think they shouldn't call the shots and should try and fit in a bit more with the host country they are living in.

Nothing wrong with mumsnet. Just a friendly debate.

nailak · 22/10/2011 17:50

"host country"?

this is not my "host country" this is the only country i know as home?

Himalaya · 22/10/2011 17:56

Good grief Alemci. I thought the PTA was for all families at a school - events open to all, all welcome to volunteer, give opinions, share in decision making etc... whether you can trace your family back to 1066, or just arrived yesterday.

Feenie · 22/10/2011 18:00

There's nothing friendly about your posts, alemci. 'Host country'??? Shock Shock

seeker · 22/10/2011 18:44

"don't like being called racist just because I have a different take on the situation but if you want to think that then fine."

If you don't want to be called racist, don't say racist things. Simple.

alemci · 22/10/2011 19:12

I just don't perceive what I am saying as racist. GB is a host country to people of other nations. I am not unfriendly and if you came face to face with me I am sure you would draw that conclusion. It is difficult on a forum to post without being misconstrued.

things aren't always simple. there are many shades of grey.

I am honestly not trying to upset anyone.