Fund-raisers that won't offend Muslim families

[MrsLadywoman]

My kids go to a secular state primary school in a multi-cultural area where just over 50 per cent of the children are from Muslim backgrounds. We are about to have a PSA meeting about fund-raising events and there have already been a few raised voices over certain suggestions, for example a roller disco (no music should be played), a barbecue (no pork, no wine) and a bingo night (no gambling). Could anyone offer any suggestions that won't offend?

lol "host country to people of other nations" thats just it, these people are most likely not of other nations but nationally British.

Wow, I'm an immigrant (tho you wouldn't guess it just by looking, and I do NOT consider England my "host country". That implies that you're merely tolerating me (or other immigrants) until we go back to wherever we were before. (Which may not be where we were born anyways, or where our heritage is from.)

Except this is where my family is. Am I so unwelcome?

Back to the OP, I have made a few good Muslim friends over the years and they are frequently amazed by the things others think will offend them.
Pork and alcohol are worth asking them about. Aside from that and obvious as it sounds, the best way to organise inclusive events is to include others in the decisions.

Half the later posts seem to be missing the facts that (1) OP says that the school is half Muslim; it isn't a case of 'pandering to a minority' and (2) it is Muslim parents on the PTA who have apparently objected (even if they are not wholly representative) not the stereotypical do gooders trying to avoid giving offence that wouldn't actually be taken.

Am slightly mystified by why there was an issue with music unless it was in Ramadan.

good luck OP some of the earlier suggestions sound brilliant

" It is difficult on a forum to post without being misconstrued"

No it isn't.

Yes it is, i was astounded on the dale farm by the amont of racism directed at the travellers. Had they removed the word gypsy, who are also an ethnic minority and inserted any other ethnic minority the whole thread would have erupted. I really was shocked. I used an example of what happened with my friends being emergency rehoused and what could happen with the travellers being rehoused then was immediately called a racist. Posts pointing out racism towards the travellers were deleted and comments like they are dirty, workshy, illiterate thieves and why dont they go back to where they belong were blatantly posted but seemed to cause no offence. MNHQ deleted them after being reported.

dale farm thread

I am equally astounded at the lack of posters answering the offensive posts on this thread, and amazed that someone actually tried instead to take me instead to task for standing up to it, because I was diverting the thread!

I actually began to think might be me until Seeker returned and a few other posters made some very patient and pertinent points. Maybe it's because Primary Ed doesn't get so much traffic, but jeez.

I think, to be fair, that the muslim people on THIS PTA (not all muslims, just these particular ones) are very extreme in their observance of islam, and their interpretation of Islam, which is making this rather difficult. While it may be quite divisive, would it be possible to run two events, one that would appeal to the muslim families, and one that would appeal to the other families?

I am far far from racist, but I do feel that everybody has to live together on this little island - and that requires a little give and take from ALL sides. I personally would NOT eat Halal meat (I feel that meat that fulfils Halal requirements does NOT fulfil animal welfare requirements), while some muslims would not want to be at any event where there is, say, pork present.

These opposing viewpoints are quite difficult to reconcile. In this case, I would abandon any ideas of fundraising that involves food. Music - School Disco's are optional - they have the choice of sending their dc or not. There are plenty of Muslim parents at my DS's school whose dc attend the Halloween and Easter discos. They also attend The Christmas fair. And the summer fair where there is a barbeque and an alcohol tent. Equally all the other parents attend the Eid celebration.

I cannot understand why the Muslim parents on your school's PTA seem to be insisting that everything is done the way THEY want, with no compromise offered. (A roller disco where two hours of it had no music?! That's not 'inclusive', that's insane). Why can they not be culturally sensitive to OUR culture just as much as they are expecting this PTA to be to their culture? Surely it should be 50% give on one side, 50% on the other?

I would agree with you regarding the OP, Hunty - but my comments have been directed towards subsequent posters who have hijacked the thread with their own questionable agenda.

Not buying your innocent act at all, alemci - not once have you sought to apologise for any offence caused, and if your comments had arisen sincerely from ignorance then you would have done so when it was pointed out to you.

I've looked at other posts you have made, and quite a few seem to jump in and incite racial tension. YorkshireRobbo does the same in his/her few postings.

I agree with Hunty that the Muslims on this PTA committee seem to be extremely conservative.

I don't think that people and institutions should necessarily give religious concerns automatic priority. But if running an event in a certain way would mean that 50% of children and families wouldn't feel comfortable attending, then it is the wrong event to run.

So the big question is whether these religious conservatives really speak for the other Muslim parents, or whether they are trying to strong arm the PTA with their own particularly extreme views. The way to find out is to consult widely - not to come back with "respect our culture" bullshit.

I don't think the idea of having a disco (or indeed a quiz night) or whatever is OFFENSIVE to Muslims. What is offensive, and racist is the suggestion is if someone has bothered to volunteer and to go to PTA meetings, that their suggestions should be overridden 'because they are not English'

Equally it is lazy and racist to assume that these few people speak for all Muslims at the school.

It would be perfectly reasonable to do a survey, and if it turns out there are plenty of Muslims who would send their children, then go ahead andhold it, even if the religious conservatives wouldn't be able to attend. On the other hand if the feedback is that 50% wouldn't go then the PTA should probably try another idea.

When I was at school we never had events after school on Friday. It wasn't because Judaism was being given automatic priority, it was because a third of the kids were Jewish and it would have been rude and inconsiderate (and dumb) to hold events that would exclude 1/3 of the pupils.

Who is Fernie?

'scrap if intellegance'

I am not the only poster to point out your ignorance, YorkshireRobbo. But by all means launch a personal attack if you wish.

I find these things that you said intolerant, offensive and unpleasant at best, and bordering on racism at worst, and I find alemci's posts just racist:

IF you have a muslim parent who objects to music being played at a kids party in England then let them complain and ignore every last word of their complaint...Did anyone put a gun to this persons head and make them read the koran and believe that 'god is good' and that eating pork is bad and music is bad and drink is bad and fun is bad - NO, they CHOSE themsevles to believe that. Why the hell should everyone else suffer just because of their warped beliefs?

Why on earth should we continually bend over backwards to support the BELIEFS of others.

We have to stand up to the 'over the top religious mob' and say that enough is enough, last time I checked we live in Britian not an arab state.

We must never be afraid to object to some of the stronger traits of the muslim faith when they try and impinge on how we live OUR lives.

If you really need to ask why some people may be offended by your remarks then I'm afraid nothing anyone says is going to help.

I find your personal abuse of feenie uncalled for and offensive.

Yorkshire - personal attacks aren't tolerated here.

Your posts come across as ill-informed, ignorant and frankly offensive. Resorting to personal attacks is only making you look unhinged.

I've just pointed out to you which parts of your posts are prejudiced, offensive, and border on racism, YorkshireRobbo. Nowhere have I said that you are racist. Your posts do have deeply unpleasant undertones, however.

Not at all unpleasant or unhinged. Silly me.

Ahhhh, there are your true racist colours. Forget the bordering/undertones. What a pleasant person you are, YorkshireRobbo.

Are there any Muslim parents on your PSA board that can advise?

We have over 20% Muslim families at the school I work in, and we never seem to offend them with our fund-raising. They are happy to attend and join in.

You can buy halal meat for the barbecue, and can easily manage without pork (or have two barbecues, but I would imagine you would rather be unified and not emphasise differences). No one needs to drink alcohol, but they shouldn't be offended if others do. I know lots of Muslims who donate alcohol to the bottle tombola (which they may have previously won in raffles and are recycling).

I was on holiday in a Muslim country this summer and there was plenty of local music and dancing (where does belly dancing come from?). There was also loads of alcohol served to us.