Delaying starting school until term after 5th birthday - anyone else?

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Just wondered. Have been told by our LA that ds is the only one in the whole county and that he'll be so very behind when he starts.

I don't think being reasonably bright has anything to do with it, but I do think it requires skills that not all parents have.

Many parents really can't teach phonics, even though they think they can. Hell, many teachers can't!

Absolutely!

To put it into perspective - if we lived in England my son would be going into Y2 in 2 weeks.

But we live overseas and he starts school in the middle of Sept, one month before his 7th birthday.

He can read a bit but not fluently & can do basic sums. But he'll learn quickly at school and at 12 will be the same academic level as a child who went to school in England at 4.

OP - leave your child at home for a term. If you dont believe he's ready then he probably isnt.

Both mine who started school late were fluent readers long before they were of an age to start nursery so certainly didn't need reception to teach them phonics They don't naturally use phonics even now although dd sits through all the sessions and knows all the rules but she still uses her phenomenal memory because hat is easier for her. They still weren't ready to start school before the latest point I could start them.It was right for them and I think they benefited enormously by the delayed start.

Probably true, Starlight and mrz. It seems obvious to me to 'teach' phonics to small children, so I was generalising about 'reasonably bright'. Maybe 'with a bit of common sense' is more like it?

My DH has a Phd and I'm always shouting at him at his attempts to read sounds with ds - lol

One of my class's very well educated mum said she was having problems because her daughter kept trying to sound out /sh/ /o/ /p/ not /s/ /h/ /o/ /p/ and she was determined she was correct

Oh no. What did you say?

I can see why teachers say (as they did to us at a reception meeting) 'please don't teach your children phonics, - that is our job'. I can see why, but surely it would be better in terms of partnership working and general literacy standards of the country if they either explained why, or pointed to some quality resources that the determined parent could access.

Hell, why not even run fee-paying evening classes on how to teach your child phonics as part of the schools for the community stuff, you could even get the parent reps to run it or the TA's for extra money.....

I always run an introduction to phonics session for parents and this mum declined, while some less well educated parents attended. The result was she really confused her daughter over all the digraphs and was really embarrassed when she finally admitted she was wrong.

I really appreciate any support parents give their child it usually makes my job much easier if we work together

I think I was making a daft link between intelligence and common sense. I have a PhD, so assumed that being reasonably bright might make a difference. But DH also has a PhD, and couldn't have taught the DCs phonics in a zillion years, so I don't know what made me think that.

I can sort of see why teachers say that, but it's also assuming that all parents are incapable of doing it, which just isn't true. As it happens, it suited us as DS - who was desperate to learn - had 'done' phonics and was reading well by the time he had just turned three. When he finally went to school, the teacher just gave him a lot of other things to do so he didn't get fed up with learning letter sounds again. DD wasn't so fluent (less interested than DS), but she was well ahead of the class in phonics by the time she started. Again, the teacher was more than happy to accommodate this.

Cross-posts, mrz. You sound very sensible indeed.

The nursery school ran a phonics session. It was okay. It was all about don't teach your children the sounds of the letters because we are doing listening skills in the environment instead so that when they do sounds they will fly.

Then she told me that ds was in the top set. Which I was pleased about because I knew that listening to sounds was one of his strengths and she had recognised that, despite the EP insisting that he'd only ever be able to learn to read by whole word sight.

He LOVES phonics so we just went ahead. I began it because I was so scared that the EP's advice would be taken seriously by the school and I KNEW he would love phonics work. He loved it so much that he writes lots of lovely sentences, - his favourite currently being 'cut my orinj willy' but that's 4 yr old boys.

I read to the DTs from a wide range of books including the oxford reading tree 'read at home' set. They recognise their own names and signs on shops. What else can I do to help them with reading? I have some simple alphabet and phonics apps on the Ipad which they look at but they are not recognising letters and their sounds yet.

Magda, I know quite a bit about phonics because my Dad taught in a teacher training college, but what I have found better for the discipline, patience and because ds just loves it is Headsprout. The first 3 sessions are free.

I don't let ds move on to the next session until he has mastered the first to at least 90%, and I often cut sessions short. We practise a lot outside of the sessions too, but this is usually led and initiated by him.

Briefly, I did the following: made letters (always lower case) in mud/sand/gravel/whatever was to hand while we were walking around and said their sounds. Made letters out of twigs and said the sounds. Traced them with fingers (mine and the children's) on road signs and said the sounds. Cut potatoes out in the shape of letters and let the DCs splodge them in paint and onto paper (while I said w - w - w - w walking across the page; j - j - j - j - jumping across the page etc etc etc). Got foam letters to drown in the bath, saying their sounds as they fell in. Wrote letters on the bath with bath crayons. Drew them and stuck them on the kitchen cupboards, a few at a time. DS cottoned on very quickly at two; DD took longer (she was more like four). Then move on to combinations (eg 'o' and 'w' say "ow!" Ham it up, and get them laughing). And so on. Probably not one for FT working parents, though, as it's quite time consuming. The first combinations DS read were street signs and labels in supermarkets, as we tended to walk to the supermarket a lot when he was small.

@GloriaVanderbilt: you asked, "Do we need to ask officially? Or can we just do it?" and "Can I just ask if there is any sort of formal thing we have to do to defer? School thinks he's starting in Sept."

You don't have to ask permission for your child to have a deferred start. You can just do it. But you do have to inform them when he will be starting, if you want to ensure he won't lose his place at that school to another child. If the child simply doesn't appear fairly soon after the time when he's expected, his name can be removed from the register. This makes sense: nobody would want places kept waiting indefinitely for children who'd moved away or gone to private school and whose parents just hadn't bothered to tell the LA! If your son's year group at this school is full, there are likely to be families on the waiting list who will be keen to take up any places which may materialise in September.

It's the admission authority (which is usually the LA) which is legally bound to keep the place waiting for your child and not offer it to anyone else. If I were you, I'd send them a letter by recorded delivery telling them that you have accepted the place offered at such-and-such school and will be deferring your child's start until xx date in accordance with Section 2.69 of the School Admission Code. On the assumption that the LA may not be very efficient about informing the school, it would be polite of you to copy the letter to the school so they can plan properly.

By the way, a look at the School Admission Code will also reassure you about whether preschool attendance or other funding issues affect the LA's obligation to allow you to defer. They do not. There is nothing in the Code saying "...unless the child is attending preschool" or similar. It simply says the admission authority must allow you to defer, and must not give the place to anyone else. You can download it here

Oops it was the OP, not Gloria, who was worried that preschool attendance might prevent deferring. Never mind!

There is a lot of choice here (NSW) about school start age as compulsory school age is 6. I have never met anyone who regretted holding a child back, I have met plenty who wished they had. Of course it works fine for plenty of kids starting young, but I just don't understand the rush to get them into school asap, they'll be there long enough!

Many thanks, Saracen. I might give the LA a call today and talk to them about it but yes a proper letter might be a good idea. Especially as HT hates me and will do all she can to make my life difficult.

Oh god I need to sort this out too
why does your head teacher hate you Gloria? Any chance of switching schools?
People keep telling me reception is the same as playgroup/ nursery but one teacher to 30 kids + ta some of the time isn't the same at all

Hmm. Just rang admissions and she said you need to discuss it with the school, she said it doesn't matter if you do this when you go back. I said no one is there at the moment so will I be in trouble and she said no.
She was very keen to get off the phone.

Hope she is right, I might email them though anyway before we go back, just so it's documented.

Hi CJ, yes reception isn't the same is it...no matter how hard they try.

I look at ds and I know he is nowhere near how I was when I started (at age 5) and how overwhelming I found it.

Starlight I'm impressed (and Trompette and others) at your children being able to lift a pen let alone write sentences. Mine has barely held a pen in his life. When he does he just makes holes in the paper with it

I would be very tempted to change schools BUT ds1 is going into yr4 and he is very, very attached to his friends. He's already moved once (from reception somewhere else, HE for a while then into yr1) and found that hard.

I can't do it to him despite having had an offer from somewhere else. It wouldn't be fair. I guess I could send ds2 somewhere else but that would be very difficult.
I like many of the teachers and parents where we are. I just have a real problem with the HT, as do many of the other parents...I'm hoping to be able to avoid talking to her as much as possible and just deal with the teachers themselves. There have been various issues but I don't want to out myself completely

Mainly she just seems to have very little respect for the parents and has made some very unpopular decisions. It's sad as it is a great school and she's wrecking it systematically (imho)

Maybe that is a bit harsh. She is wrecking the mutual trust built up between school and parents iyswim.

God that sounds so hard

What a pita to have to wait til school actually starts before getting it sorted

Do yours do half days first? Ours does so I might see how the first week or so goes , I'm a chicken!