Delaying starting school until term after 5th birthday - anyone else?

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Just wondered. Have been told by our LA that ds is the only one in the whole county and that he'll be so very behind when he starts.

He was in preschool for two terms. He got no social skills.

He was in nursery for a year. His social skills were the same when he started as when he left. Child initiated learning seems to mean that you don't make the child play any interaction games if they don't want to, or do anything they don't want to do for that matter.

Many (maybe even most) children learn social skills from being plonked in a group of peers. My ds doesn't and as far as I can tell there is no curriculum to teach them if they don't.

NO, he did a full year at nursery. Loved it. Learnt nothing.

His birthday is in November so he'd only be missing the first term. He wouldn't make any friends regardless of whether he started in September or January. He doesn't know how. He doesn't want to know how.

I think that school is slightly more organised than nursery i.e they go to assembly every morning (self control and sitting sit) They get to choose activities (within reason i.e.this or this) then they get moved on to something different.

Did you get a chance to go into the school at the end of last term and see how they work?

How does your ds feel about school, I have been talking to dd about starting big school since waaaay before the end of last term what whe will be doing what will be expected of her, how she can solve any problems she might have and who she would go to.

If you've been doing this and then move the goalposts, what will that signal to your ds about school? (I'm not really sure about this he's your ds and you know how he's viewing school).

IME our childrenhas older children designated at playtimes as buddies to make sure that the younger ones are playing and have someone with them

I was tempted to hold my son back as he was so young & little, (premie) But finding out he would go into the same class group just in year one, made me feel he would then be disadvantages as being the new kid is never easy, so I didnt do it & he has done fine.

Well, good luck Starlight.
You're not a 4-5yo child and i doubt you can interact like a pack of them, so not sure how well it's going to go trying to teach your DC to interact better with other children and with them around interfering with everything else & coming out with random friendly, irrational or snippy comments, other than having a large pool of 4-5yo children on tap... but good luck. I'd like you to prove us wrong.

He doesn't really understand what is going to happen. He's not got a lot of understanding about timeframes either and he doesn't know it is the holidays. He doesn't know why he isn't in nursery atm and he hasn't asked. He lives in the present and is happy enough there.

There would have been no point talking to him about school any time before the day (or the day before) he starts so we haven't done. If I mentioned it in July he would expect it to happen then iyswim.

All I can tell you is I wish I had done it star

Hmm i'd be for it if you think it would benefit your DC, I'm in scotland, so again slightly different system.
My DS bday in on Hogmanay (31st Dec) so when he starts he'll be 4.8, and i'm not entirely sure he'd be ready for it, as some kids i know here start at 5 and half say and are much more advanced than those at 4.8?!

ragged, I can't write here how I can adress your very sensible concerns but I can assure you that I believe strongly that I can.

The school system have had 5 terms to teach him social skills and have been unable to. I am taking him out of the system for one term to try and do better. I would never forgive myself if I didn't take this chance and I am riddled with guilt that I bought into the idea that school would help him and kept him in it when there was no legal requirement.

Thank you Becarooo. Sorry for your sad face.

Was your DS's pre-school in the school or separate?
What did the pre-school have to say about your DS, and why he was struggling?

Thank you star Your last post resonates with me so much its made me cry

Ds1 is 8 and I am still battling to undo the damage I caused by listening to "experts" and family members and not going with my gut instinct with regard to my his welfare.

Good on you.

I am sure you are doing the right thing for your boy and that, in the final analysis, is all that matters.

x

StarlightMcKenzie I'm not suggesting for one minute that social skills can only be learnt in school just that the children he is going to be interacting with will be there not at home. It really is a hard decision and I'm sure you have done lots of soul searching.

RHP, the preschool and nursery were both in a school. His nursery teacher was head of early years in an outstanding school with a high incidence of SNs.

DS has social communication difficulties.

From what you've said OP it sounds like you know this will be best for your DS. As long as you are happy that starting late won't make it harder for him to socialise, then I would go for it.

FWIW, my DD started reception a few weeks after her 4th bday, and was in the same class (split nursery/reception) from just after her 3rd birthday. We are very lucky that she is outgoing and took to it like a duck to water. However, I have seen a good few others in her class really struggle. It does seem strange to have such a prescriptive system based on age and not on readiness.

but mrz, he's not going to be interacting with them. He'll be there and they'll be there and that will be all there is to it.

At least if first term of reception is going to be anything like preschool and nursery, which I imagine it is. This is a different school and the teacher has refused to even meet with me until after half term.

LOL Red, thanks, but I don't KNOW anything. I started this thread more because I feel like freak keeping my ds back when no-one else is and wondered if anyone else was too.

LA are saying it is detrimental but I've given up believing most of what they say so it is hard to know the truth.

My boy is four (until Sunday, birthday 28th August). He has finished reception and is about to go into year 1.

If I could, I would have deferred him for a year, but really didn't think that starting at year 1 having missed reception would help him be any less behind, if you see what I mean.

As it happens, he's in a small village school with split classes, and next year will be in R/Yr1 rather than Yr1/2.

The system is very inflexible, I would have like the option for him to start reception this year.

He has had fun in reception. He can now get changed for PE in less than half an hour, can take himself to the toilet on his own, eat a packed lunch in time to get out to the playground, and knows about Ben 10 and how to play "tig".

This is a different school and the teacher has refused to even meet with me until after half term.

What! that is totally unacceptable

'I'm afraid that unlike MN parents in RL want their child to start earlier rather than deferring entry.'

Really? Gosh.

Starlight, I'm supposed to be sending mine part time, starting in Sept, but I'm convinced he isn't ready so will probably defer till at least January.
Apols, haven't read the whole thread yet but just about to

I'm amazed that the LA said that. I haven't even asked my LA. HT was hard enough to pin down about it. Do we need to ask officially? Or can we just do it?

Dd3 could start next month but we have deferred till January when she will be 4.75. The school (lovely sensible headteacher) did offer even April as a start but January feels ok for me. Dd1 is also an April baby and she started then and dd2 started then too - January baby. However this decision has been greeted with surprise by some friends. I don't think they know what they're on about

Really Gloria