Delaying starting school until term after 5th birthday - anyone else?

[StarlightMcKenzie]

Just wondered. Have been told by our LA that ds is the only one in the whole county and that he'll be so very behind when he starts.

Sorry, ignore my C&P, I have now caught up with some excellent debate and discussion and that point seems irrelevant

Starlight, I totally get what you mean. Socially, I think children of that age play alongside each other and are beginning to interact but it's that transition, it's not like yr1 where they all interact with one another.

I see the point about the child going into a class where everyone has already learned a lot of things, however they will all still be at different levels and I think it would be wrong to send mine in now as he is just too autonomous.

He won't brook any argument about what he wears, eats or does...he still sleeps almost every afternoon, has only shown interest in school within the last 24 hours...he's not raring to go like so many of his friends are.

I want him to be emotionally and physically capable of coping for 6 hours without my help. That's the entire basis for keeping him out till January. He was born in June though so far littler than a lot of the others. I may even wait till April to start him.

Ah phew! Thanks for the latest posts.

Mrz I know it is unacceptable but this school kicked up a big fuss and tried to appeal against ds attending (as we were appealing FOR him to attend). To be fair, she agreed to do a home visit in week 2 (as for all children) but she doesn't want to talk about his social skills until after half term when she has had a chance to assess him apparently.

Thankyou for all your posts on this Mrz. Can I just ask if there is any sort of formal thing we have to do to defer?

School thinks he's starting in Sept. I've emailed the office about summat else and got no reply. So presumably no one there.

Do I need to tell the lEA/HT/school? Also can I start him part time when he does finally start? Or will it be bang into full days?

Really appreciate any replies to these, hope you don't mind me hijacking, Starlight

Star I taught dd how to interact with her peers when she was out of school far more easily and effectively than school could have done and that was with a SEN TA in place specifically for her. You'll be able to do the same using the principles that work with the very specific knowledge you have of your child. Dd was pretty much oblivious to her peers on entry to nursery yet she had friends and wanted to play and interact when she left yr R. It wasn't being immersed in children that taught her this it was teaching skills at home and practising religiously and getting her TA on board to practise these skills with her when she was in school. If being around her peers would have worked she would have picked it up long before school as she had been immersed in children since birth.

Oh no. Hijack away.

We told the school but had to do it late. They were refusing to engage with us at all as they don't wan't ds, so the appeal stuff ended 2 days before schools broke up and we needed 10 days to make our decision. Perhaps they don't know yet, but it isn't our fault.

Oh God they are going to be overjoyed with you

I feel a similar wave of contention approaching, as the HT completely hates me due to a problem last term for which she had her wrists slapped by the governors. ahem

not looking forward to this term tbh

Just to give another perspective - I posted this on another thread some time ago but can't find it

In September we have a child starting full time at mum's insistence
The child has multiple difficulties including

inability to communicate needs (no language at this time)
has just begun to walk
incontinent
inability to swallow (real danger of choking on food or drinks but will stay for lunch)
limited vision (can only see in one dimension so unable to identify obstacles from shadow)
hearing difficulties
easily exhausted (needs a nap for half day sessions)

Starlight - I do not intend sending my DTDs until after their 5th birthday- so that makes 3 children in the country

My reasons are not particularly laudable;

inconvenient start/finish times - neither of us can finish work at 2.30pm to get to school to collect them; cost of afterschool club of two and a half hours is £16 each = £160 per week before paying for lunches

I started the September after my 5th birthday (March) and, as the saying goes, "it never did me any harm"

they are in a great nursery and thriving

we can go away on holiday when I want without asking permission

and finally and most importantly delaying the tyranny of homework & reading records and all the other shite that seeps from school into home.

I have tried to get a straight answer from the LA who just keep sending me the same standard email about process for starting in September.

...and breathe.

We sort of did it.

rationale was that ds3 was both a late July baby and had then undiagnsoed delays (now dx'd with asd and in an SNU placement).

He went PT until Easter. Was right decision all round IMO.

oh and my decision has been met with by my family and friends.

Wow. That sounds tough to deal with in a mainstream classroom (is it?)

One of the reasons the school appealed against ds is because they have 2 children in the class already with 'known difficulties' and one of them has profound difficulties. They feel they already have their share of difficulties for which the LA do not provide additional funding. Given that many difficulties are not identified until school they are feeling hard done by and there might be more.

But I could not ask for a more varied and potentially accepting class. For ds this is all excellent news. For the teacher, less so I should imagine.

Last post was to MRZ

Yes it is mainstream and yes there will be other children with various needs although not in every area like this child who is going to physically struggle with a full school day because of the effort it takes just to sit or move

Thank you Magda and Peachy and Insanity!

But Mrz, why has this mum sent her in full-time?

It HAS to be something to do with needing more respite than she is getting surely?

Or perhaps the start of an evidence-collecting mission to get a residential or special school?

I wouldn't think she will get much respite as she is starting childminding

Oh. So she has sent her in full-time so she can work?

maybe the mother of MRZ's pupil reckons that the child won't be that much improved next yr, but still would benefit from the time spent with others?

No she was working before this is just change of career but not one that will offer much respite

The child is already attending the unit nursery part time ragged and struggles to cope with 3 hour sessions

My honest opinion is she just wants her child to be the same as everyone else's child (and start full time)

oh . Of course she does.

"I think a child would be left behind if they don't start reception with the other children. Most children do start to read in reception, a child who doesn't know phonics or blending sounds will find it tough in year 1 where the work starts to gather pace. Its tough enough for the younger children in the year group I can't imagine why you would want to disadvantage your child even more...."

Mine are summer babies and both could read far better than their classmates by the time they started in Y1!! DS is still top of his class by miles despite his late start. I think it's far more important to look at the individual child and his/her needs than it is to worry about being the same as everyone else. And any child at home with a reasonably bright parent is going to learn letter sounds, handwriting and so on far better than they might in Reception, just because they have so much time with an adult. I work in a nursery, and the general knowledge of the children who are only there part time is on the whole miles better than that of those who are there full time.

I would say it has more to do with the interaction between parents and child than "reasonably bright". I know some very intelligent adults who haven't got a clue with their children and a lovely mum with SEN who is fantastic with her son.