Growing number of children 'don't know their own name' when starting school

[mrz]

www.telegraph.co.uk/education/educationnews/8668117/Growing-number-of-children-dont-know-their-own-name-when-starting-school.html

There are lots of reasons why communication within families has broken down.

1. Many families have two working parents and children in childcare so never sit together as a family having dinner. The conversation with nursery or school clubs etc is not as meaningful or in depth as 1-1 with a parent.
2. Many parents do not know any nursery rhymes and don't realise that singing is important in developing rhythem in speech....many children can do nursery rhyme words before other words if taught from a young age.
3. Many parents do not find time to read to or with their children i.e. at least 10 mins per night.
4. Many parents unfortunately do not build their childrens self-esteem by giving praise when they do well and unfortunately without it lots of children lack confidence in attempting new things such as reading out loud.
5. I have come across lots of children who are either dumped straight in front of the TV/Wii/ DVD/Computer or kicked out of the house completely to give parents an easy life i.e. no boundaries.
6. Unfortunately postnatal depression also has a negative impact if the mother withdraws and becomes less interactive with the baby.

All of this is very sad but I have come across it lots in my work and seen it in my own local area.

6) Unfortunately postnatal depression also has a negative impact if the mother withdraws and becomes less interactive with the baby.

I had a colleague who had suffered from severe postnatal depression and she said she had kept her son under the stairs in his pram only bringing him out to feed and clean and when the health visitor called. She believed this was the reason he had speech and language problems which in turn fuelled her depression.

Some of this is really heartbreaking.

It makes you wonder what chance in life some of these poor little mites have.

I suffered post natal (and antenatal!) depression with both my children and now am worrying that I may have harmed their development in some way

However they seem happy enough and (I think) they know that I love them both very much which is the main thing.

Why do people have kids if they can't be bothered to spend a bit of time with them and teach them the basic life skills they need both for starting school and beyond?

Lots of parents dont read/sing to their dcs because they themselves cant read. In some areas there is an adult illiteracy rate of 25%.

Why do people have kids if they can't be bothered to spend a bit of time with them - ummmmm, because you have kids from having unprotected sex?

Because people don't have a clue what it's like to being a parent and don't realise how hard it is?

Because circumstances change?

Because you can't change your mind later?

Because society puts so much pressure on you to breed?

Because your family puts so much pressure on you to breed?

Because you're biologically programmed to put yourself under pressure to breed?

MRZ's colleague's story is very sad - and not that uncommon.

Parents who struggle need support not criticism.

"Why do people have kids if they can't be bothered to spend a bit of time with them - ummmmm, because you have kids from having unprotected sex?"

Do you mean unplanned children because of unprotected sex? Many couples do it if not most. That does not mean that once you have "unplanned kids" you are not going to love them. Many parents plan and still fail to raise their children well. Some countries have high rate of unprotected sex yet the parents do everything for their kids and the pupils do very well at school.

I agree with Indigo many parents have children not realising it's hard work

My DM used to work at a playgroup for expats, some 30 years ago. One British mother brought her 3 year old in explaining that he didn't speak - the doctors didn't know what was wrong with him, and he wasn't deaf.

One day a carer listened to the boy babbling to himself while playing and worked out that he was speaking a rudimentary self-taught version of the local language. When questioned it became clear that the mother never talked to him because "he doesn't understand so there isn't any point" but she kept the local language TV on for most of the day for company and he'd learned to talk from that.

We live in quite a nanny state at the moment. Your baby gets weighed to see that it's putting on enough weight, it has developmental checks, immunisations that our great-grandparents would have given their right arms for are free and you are chased up and nagged to get them done. The child is given free nursery places, and guaranteed an education.

I remembered being quite perplexed when I realised that I was going to have to teach my DCs to ride a bike and to swim myself, or in the latter case organise lessons. Never having done anything of the kind before, I didn't know where to start. It was the first time I really had to put myself out to make sure they learned something. Obviously I talked to them and read to them and listened to them read and helped with homework - but none of that felt like a chore like ferrying them to swimming lessons (and bloody well paying for them) does. Considering this, I was shocked to realise just how much of what I would have thought would be our responsibility as parents, has been taken off our hands by the state.

I wonder if some parents think that the school will teach their children everything and all they have to do is feed them and buy them toys.

BalloonSlayer - took dd 'swimming' aged 6mths on, continued weekly-ish til she could swim aged 3ish. Bought cheap 2nd hand bike (£10) aged 5, rode with stabilisers, learnt properly aged 6. Now has Bikeability level 2. I've had MS throughout, disabled from when dd ws aged 4. Got dp, friends and my pa's to take her. I did this because my parent's didn't, so I learnt to swim aged 35, never learnt to ride a bike properly. I am very aged, so should have been learning in 60's. From my own experience, I support kids being taught these basic skills at school because, sadly, we can't rely on parents to even see the value of it, never mind do it. But their kids shouldn't miss out due to the parents.

I can understand kids not learning to swim these days with the restrictive adult child ratios at most pools.

Tbh i think schools should teach swimming and cycling, it's more important than a lot of the things they spend their time doing.

like reading and writing and speaking?

Most primary schools do teach swimming and many do cycle training but the curriculum is already so overcrowded.

Yep let's just shove even more responsibility onto the schools:

speaking
knowing name
writing
reading
maths
science
bike riding
dressing
swimming
citizenbloodyship
sex ed
everything that David Gove ever learned at school including every white middle class male's book he's ever read
arse wiping

Great idea. Soon parents will be able to sling a child into school aged 3 and never have to speak to it again until it's at least 21.

My friend is a swimming teacher and reckons the 12 (?) lessons aren't enough unless the kids are already really familiar with pools and getting their head in the water. Never heard of anything other than Bikeability courses which are for kids who can already ride, just not safely on roads. It isn't ideal to get schools etc to do it, butit's better than it not getting done at all.

Where does 12 lessons come from? Our children have a lesson each week throughout primary about 250 lessons

Actually, I think his name is Michael Gove

my DD was called baby till she was 3 by most ppl but still knew her name when called, she is the only child bar 1 i know who hasnt needed a speech therapist as we all ramble on at her and always have done :( i feel so sad for the kids who dont know they have a name thats awful..

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie it is but don't worry because he answers to anything never having learnt it

:)

If a child begins school in that state then SS should be down on the family like a ton of bricks.

I hope no one misunderstood me and thought I was complaining about having to teach my DCs bike riding and swimming!

I was trying to say that having to do those things made me realise how much I don't have to do . . . the state does it instead.

Over the years the state has taken over more and more things that parents used to have responsibility for, because some parents couldn't provide those things, and some wouldn't.

Now it seems that "teaching DCs their names" may be added to the list.

Unfortunately MumblingRagDoll SS have worse things to deal with than parents who don't talk to their child.