Calling Scottish mums - should my 4.5 year old start P1 in August?

[septembersong]

DS1 was 4 on 11 Dec, and is due to start school in August. But I feel reluctant to send him as he will be one of the youngest. He goes to nursery 3 days a week while I'm working, and they say he is ready to go, no issues on the development front. It is just me, for some reason I would prefer to send him older than younger. But maybe holding him back wouldn't be the right thing for him? Interested in the thoughts of other mums with experience of this dilemma, especially those in Scotland, as I think the norm is to start at 4 down south, which is different to here.

My sister deferred her January born DS and hasn't regretted it (partly because she didn't want him to be the last to hit puberty at high school!.

I didn't defer DS2 who's b/day is December 20th and do regret it sometimes, as he turned out to be at the mild end of the autistic spectrum (not spotted by me or nursery!) and have some dyslexia type problems, he is only just starting to catch up now in P6.

However he has lovely peers in his class and the class below seems to have more than its fair share of junior troublemakers, so that can affect choices in a small school.

I am actually considering deferring entry to high school.

where are you? glasgow council are absolute bastards about this. you are entitled under law to defer but they will not fund a nursery place for the extra year. so you are talking three grand for anything like 9-3 care. (unless you can get the psychologist to say he has some special need, that is).

i didn't defer dd1, and i'll never know if it was the right thing to do. she looks young in her class, however she looked MASSIVELY older than the kids in the nursery class at the joint christmas play thing they did.

really difficult decision, imo.

Look at the policy on your council's website. I am with Renfrewshire council and there is no issue with Jan and Feb children (DD is a Feb child). Any older and there may be issues - reports from nursery etc. I would check with your council first.

We deferred ds2 (Jan birthday) and absolutely no regrets. It had nothing to do with his intelligence and everything to do with his social and emotional maturity; not just at that stage but for his future stages - not being 11 going into secondary, not being 17 going into university, not being the last to do everything. He's also very small (under paed endo for delayed growth) and as such we want to minimise any potential for bullying.

In terms of his educational development, we have a very switched on (local, state) primary school. He's in a P3/4 composite as a P3 but pretty much does P4 work across the board and the flexibility of the composite and the Scottish system meets his needs beautifully.

We are very, very happy with our choice and will do the same for dd when her time comes (mid Feb birhtday).

Actually, I didn't ask anyone or tell anyone official. Just didn't register him for school 'til the next year. Nursery funding continued and no one batted an eyelid ...

oh yes sorry i wasn't clear. no issues with glasgow for jan and feb, but nov and dec you are up shit creek...

I have deferred my dd and she will go to school this august she turns 5 at the end of January. Her nursery didn't recommend her going to school last year as they felt she wouldn't have coped emotionally regressed a bit when i had 3rd dd. As she was a January birthday there was no problems in deferring but no one that had nov/dec birthdays were granted this in our area stirling/falkirk. A friend of mine had a November birthday ds up in the north of Scotland and she got a deferment but he had learning issues at the time but she had a bit fight on her hands and it was all very stressful. Good luck with what ever you decide.

Agree with some other posters that you might have difficulty deferring a DC with Dec birthday while those with Jan/Feb birthdays do get the option and the extra year of nursery funding. A boy in DD's year was a Dec birthdy and his parents fought to get him the extra funding and won but not easily. It's a really difficult one. DS is a mid Jan birthday and we're already having the discussion about whether we will defer when the time comes (he'll be 2 this year). It seems to be quite common in my area but I disagree with it in principle as to be honest someone has to be the youngest. I have 2 friends who are Jan/Feb birthdays and both have said that they never felt a problem or younger than peers. I think in essence if your nursery were saying that they didn't think he was ready I'd take their advice, but otherwise in your situation with a December birthday I wouldn't be considering deferring (but that is very much my personal view and you are the one who knows your DS best).

Haven't read whole thread, but I would say the pros of deferring outweigh the cons. I deferred my January-born DS, and it wasn't a 'perfect' choice. The last year of nursery was hard (he had kind of outgrown it and some of his friends had left to go to P1) but once in school, it was all fine. We probably had fewer problems with separation anxiety etc, and coping with all the things they have to do in school, like getting changed for gym, school dinners, going to the toilet etc. I used the extra nursery year to focus on life skills like that.

Our local authority paid for the extra year no problem (I thought they had to for Jan and Feb birthdays by law, but Nov, Dec it's not guaranteed).

DS does have friends who are a year or almost a year younger, and they all seem to be doing fine, but I think it's later on in their education that the differences in age become more marked (in secondary school especially) so time will tell. My DS is quite small for his age, so I'm hoping his age advantage means he can just about keep up with his (younger) friends in the size/puberty stakes .

I would say that the trend has definitely moved in favour of deferring, and I actually feel sorry for those with December children, as you don't have the same choice as we Jan/Feb parents.

Good luck in deciding.

dd is a novemeber birthday and was ready for school - she is now P3 and has 2 or 3 kids with Jan/Feb birthdays in her class. DS is an Oct birthday and I had to enrol him for school yesterday. I was a November birthday and was one of the youngest in my year - it meant I went to Uni at 16 and graduated by the time I was 20!!

I'll be having this dilemma in a year's time, as ds is end of Dec (just turned 3) and already I'm torn.

I used to work with teenagers, and there often seemed to be a big gap between those who took S grades at 16, or nearly 16, and those who'd just turned 15. I felt really sorry for the 'young' 15 year olds who were having to make life-changing decisions about work and study at such a young age. So the issue for me & my ds will not just be whether he can cope with school at 4.5, but how he might cope when older (imposs to predict, of course).

My local council v unwilling to fund deferrals for Nov Dec birthdays, but apparently if you appeal you stand more chance.

Ds was 4 in Aug and started in reception class in Sept. He had been attending nursery 3 days a week, and they felt he could benefit from deferred school admission.

Although he was singing his alphabet and knew most of the letter sounds and recognises numbers, he is quite shy and was not particularly talkative. I felt he would benefit from the schools greater resources. Also having obtained a place at a good local state school I was not keen to let it go even temporarily.

His teacher tells me that he has settled in well but needs support with things like putting his coat on and still finds it difficult to sit still for any great length of time. She feels he could benefit from spending 2 afternoons a week at the school's nursery in order to progress. He is one of the youngest and also the smallest boy in his class.

My dd has a February birthday and I had no problem with her starting school at 4.5
She is doing really well and doesn't appear to be having any problems

Ds2 was deferred, and he is a November birthday, so would have been one of the oldest in his normal year

Nursery had concerns about his speech and packed us off to speech therapy, I had no concerns at all, he is my third child. Ds1 and dd were and are very talkative, dd was a very early talker, and ds2 was basically quite lazy....no need to do much as his siblings doted on him!

Anyhoo if I had the option a January entry would have suited him, but they don't do that up here, so he had to hang on till the August

He has flown through school, no struggles at all and everything has come easily to him, so I would definitely recommend it

I really think 4/4.5 is far too young for proper schooling.

My DTS are 24th Feb so absolute youngest in school. I weighed it up and decided to send them. They are now in P3 and the brightest in the year group so coping well. However, although they enjoy the mental stimulation, they were and are still are a little behind on other social skills, ie at first with going to the toilet etc and even now the sitting still for long periods. I would make the same decision again, as i strongly felt that another year messing about in a sand box would be a waste of time. It also helps if the school do the 'active learning' for P1 & 2 as this is better for the younger ones, less circle time and more up and about playing. Good luck with your decision.

I have 3 kids. 2 have Feb birthdays and were deferred, one is November and wasn't.

I have never for a second regretted deferring, but I do sometimes wish I had pushed for dd2 to defer. She started at 4y9m which seems so young compared to the other 2 who were 5y6m. And now that dd1 is almost 11, I'm delighted she is only just in p6 and will have another year at primary before High school.

As a former secondary teacher (suppose i might be again one day !!) I also like deferral, if there are any kids that don't cope in S1 its the younger ones. My dd1 and ds are both oldest in their class and thrive on it.

OK. Alternative opinion here! I grew up in Scotland and went through primary, high school and university there (now based down South). My birthday is 23rd Dec, so I was one of the youngest in my year. Nobody deferred in those days - unheard of. Being the youngest did me no harm whatsoever. I can remember being the best reader in my class in P1 and I didn't struggle at all. By the time I got to 17, I was ready to leave school and move on to University. If I'd had to wait another year, I would have been bereft at that point (rural Scotland did not have much to offer!!).

Personally, I don't understand why you would want to defer. In England, hardly anybody defers and DS1 is in a class with other children who have just turned 4 and who seem to be getting on just fine. I appreciate it is a different education system, but it's still the same structure to the day.

Like effjay, I was educated in Scotland. In those days it was unheard of to defer.
It is much more common now, which I think that makes it much more of a dilemma - for example a non-deferred child with a feb birthday could be more than 2 months younger than anyone else in the class.

this is the problem, eviscerate, it's the lack of a firm cut-off that is the disgrace imo. if you have three grand to spare you get to choose in glasgow. if not...

My DD has a February bd and is the youngest in her year and there is now a boy who is older than her but in the year below, although the kids find this funny TBH they are in the right places because of their individual abilities. DD is very able and to defer her would have been holding her back. Children develop at such different rates and age is only part of that development. There is always the concern she will be the youngest at high school but we as parents must support our kids wherever they're at and whatever issues they need to deal with. I think DD sometimes dislikes being the last person to turn a particular age but its not exactly a big deal and we dont make it such.
Lots of other countries start children at school later than we do in the uk. Go with your gut feel for your child.

We deferred ds (6). He has a mid February birthday so was only 12 days off the cutoff for waiting a year.

Anyone I spoke to who had deferred didn't regret it. I knew a few with grown up children who felt they struggled throughout their education to keep up. I also started at 4 and although had no problems with schoolwork struggled as I was immature/lacked confidence.

Nursery thought ds was ready to go at 4 and I dont think he would have had any problems with the work, but needed that extra year to develop his social skills and confidence (at 4 he would not talk to adults much and in nursery would never contribute much to group time etc).

We purposely didn't start any reading with him before school, knew with him being a little bit older he might pick things up a bit quicker and could be bored which would be a problem. This has worked well and he is enjoying learning with his peers and not bored (except a little bit with maths which he seems to be a little whizz at just now).

The biggest reason behind my decision to defer was his social skills and confidence which improved during the extra year of preschool and really developed in second half of P1. He was always labelled by everyone as "shy" and to my dismay even used it as an excuse himself.

This year he had a very small speaking part in the P2 Xmas show, and he was proud as punch for the 30 seconds he was on that stage. I believe we made the right decision as there is no way he would have done this if he started as a painfully shy 4 year old. This growing confidence I feel bodes well for his future social development and education in school.

My 4.5 old is well ready for school and I'm really peed off that he's still stuck in nursery - his birthday is July and he won't start school til he's 5. But then I grew up in the English system - I can't get my head around this one.

Scottish education system is still well regarded. I find the English system where kids in reception (=P1) dont all start on the same day or even the same term as there are several intakes. Never quite got how the teachers deal with this, or indeed the kids.

we chose not to defer, ds1 is feb birthday (born on 27th), youngest in his year when he started. he was so ready for school!he has managed fine, he is now in p3, and i dont regret my decision to send him when i did, (although he did struggle a bit at beginning of p2).
my cousins wee boy has the same birthday (but a few years older), and he wasnt deffered either, but when he got to p3, he was really struggling. his school allowed him to stay back a year. i think its important to know that if you feel that you have made a mistake further down the line, the you can always speak to the school to find a solution.
you know your ds better than anyone, and whatever you decide will absolutely be the best thing for him.

By whom is the Scottish education system well regarded? By Scots? Or by anybody else? From what I've seen so far, I am most definitely not impressed.