Ok local school or perfect school that's a drive away - wwyd?

[moginthedark]

I don't know what to do. DD will start school in September, and we've narrowed the choice of schools down to two and now I can't decide what's the most important.

One is just perfect for DD in every way (I won't bore you with the details, but it really is, and gets an OFSTED outsanding for pastoral care). But it's a 15+ minute drive from us (in a town) in a different village. Almost all of the children there will live in the village.

The other one is within walking distance, and does also have a lovely atmosphere and a reasonable local reputation. But it's by now means so right for her. Except that I do think it's really important to walk to school, for us to be part of the school community, for her to be able to have friends round. Whereas if we go to the village school she could easily end up a bit left out.

Has anyone else faced this choice? If so, how did it work out for you?

(And we can't afford to go and live in the village, houses there are twice as expensive as in the town...)

We went for a school 20 mins away rather than our local school. The result is that DD now has friends from that school and friends in our village - you might have to work a little harder to facilitate it but its not been a problem.

But, in our case the local school was a total no-no (we couldn't have got in without hypocrisy, one of those!) - the school our DD went to was in all sorts of ways better anyway but if it had been a realistic option it would have been a difficult choice.

Please go to the village school at drop-off and collection times to check out traffic and parking once or twice before deciding.

What seems to be a 15 minute drive (that's 1 hour driving for you each day), could in fact be a 15 minute drive plus making sure you get there 15 minutes early to get a parking place each day, which can be a huge PITA.

My DB had the same dilema. School further awasy had better Ofsted, DN went there for nursery, but local school was within walking distance.

DN is now in Y2 and, although the head of the school isn't fantastic, DB says that he is so pleased that he and SIL sent DN to the local school as the school children all walk together, see each other out of school, etc.

You could always apply to the out of area school if you weren't happy after a while. Don't dismiss school being in walking distance. It has a lot going for it.

My DC went to a primary that we had to drive to (RC). It was quite stressful making sure that we had to leave the house at a certain time, without a few minutes leeway. Don't underestimate that stress, either.

Not read your other replies but go to the school that's best for your dd

i'd go to see both schools and then decide.

A cautionary tale. A friend of mine's son didn't get into any of her choices as she was in a wierd catchment area and it is a high birth year. So he was offered a large, slightly further away (but still do-able) school. He started but she was not happy and withdrew him immediately. She then started him at a little village school, about 15 minutes drive away. Well, apparently he lasted about two weeks there and is now back at the first school. It didn't take her long to realise how awkward friendships etc were going to be when there were a) so few boys his age to make friends with and b) none of them lived close to them.

Anyway it is of course up to you but I think the best piece of advise here is think about the fact that she won't be a 4/5 year old for long....

You need to establsih whether or not you have any chance of getting a place at the village school.
Look at the information in the LA admissions book and see whether the school was full last year. If it was and the numbers in each of the other year groups look full (school can give you that information) then the likelyhood is that with a 15 minute drive you will not get a place.
If it is a school that is regularly full then you are actually doing both yourself and your child a disservice by continuing to believe that you will get a place at the school. Go for the local school.
If you can convince yourself that you have a chance of getting into the village school then put down that as first preference and then the local school as second preference. The equal preference scheme used by all LAs now should then mean that if there is a place you will get the village school but if not the probability that you will get the offer of a place at the local school.

Thank you again, everyone - even more to think about. Definitely a good thought to road test the drive and will do that next week.

I've been to see both of the schools (and four other local ones), but am still unsure. We love the village school, quite like the local one with reservations, so the drive is the decider really.

Ironically, the admission situation isn't all it seems. The village school regularly doesn't reach its admission number (and was at risk of closure a few years ago, but that's not happening now and they are about to build a brand new reception classroom so I think will be OK). The 'local' school is CofE and I think we are much less likely to get in there (148 applications for 60 places last year). Our actual catchment school we're not keen on.

And yes, completely agree that she will not be 5 for long. But these are all first schools, and so she will leave at 9. I think I would feel differently about the whole thing if it were primary (and I wish it was, we may have to move area when it comes to middle school but that's a whole other story...).

If you like, I will rant for hours about the downsides of being 15 minutes drive from school - but in brief - DON"T DO IT!!!!!!

On the flip side we drive DD 15/20 mins to school every day and don't have a problem with it at all. In the great scheme of things it is nothing for the right place and when they get older it gives them a chance to do their "forgotten" homework!

seeker what is the big reservation if it is the better school?

seeker - do rant, please, I need to hear it!

A bigger school doesn't by any means more chaotic/noisy/difficult to settle into. We have 2 schools in our village - 1 'big' school with 60/year and 1 'small' 30/year school. When choosing for DD1 we immediately thought that the smaller school would be better as it appears more intimate and manageable for a young child. However, for other reasons (SEN) we decided on the bigger school and couldn't be more pleased. There is scope to group/split children in far more dynamic ways, lots of support staff, generally more space in the school. Reception is also a separate unit, so the children integrate gradually with the main school.

2 things to check out with the smaller school

1. will you get in?

2. ok so they have a intake of 14 that to me suggests they double classes. the primary my children goes to have this so they have 4 classes in class 1 is reception and 1/2 of year 1 in class 2 is other half of year 1 and class 2.. in class 3 are year 3 and 4 and in class 4 are year 5 and 6 hence making 4 classes of 30 students. No different to what the local school will give you.

we went for the smaller school 10 mins drive away and no it doesnt bother me to do so it was the right decision to choose the smaller school. I know my kids wouldnt have thrived in the larger closer school (but here we were talking large bad report school in poor area or good report school and it is now 3 years down the lane and it is still the same though both schools have had ofstead inspections since. for us it was a good choice. I would do it again

Local school. I went to a school across the other side of town. My kids go to a local school. The pleasure of having local mates whom you can just drop in on is quite amazingly fabulous - and so much of primary school is, in fact, about making friends and dealing with other people.

And 30 in a class really isn't a huge terrifying number. Not when your own child has become a massive ooh seven year old...

Dd has sensory difficulties alongside the autism and originally attended the small school ds had attended. Dd thrived in nursery and reception but on moving into year one the teacher who covered the year one/two class was particularly poor and the eighteen children in the class caused bedlam with the teacher shouting over them.
Suddenly dd went from being happy and confident to being a self harming nervous wreck. We moved her to the school in a deprived area with a two form entry as opposed to ten children per year in the small school.
A better teacher meant that her class of 25 was significantly quieter and 100 times more ordered and calm than the smaller class was.
Dd has also benefited from better facilities, more opportunities and many after school clubs.
Sometimes it's not the numbers but the teachers ability to teach the class that determines the noise levels in my experience. Dd is now in a class of 30 (y3) and still it is a quieter class than at the small school.

Mog I am in the same situation and we're going with the smaller one which is also a 15 minute drive away. Similar reasons to you..DD is quiet and prefers a smaller group...the local school is HUGE and not great.

I am going with instinct...in my experience there are lots of parents doing this. We prefer the atmosphere of the further school.

I think you are really lucky to have found a school that you say you love and that you can picture your DD being happy at, and can actually get into, without reservations about the school itself. In terms of gut instinct, there is a big difference between "love" and "quite like with reservations". Did anyone go with you on the visits, if so did they get the same impressions about how the schools suit your DD?

In the bigger picture, it is worth finding out which junior or middle schools the children from each school move on to. Does attending one particular school make it harder to get into your preferred middle school, later?

If it helps at all my DD is 6 and in year 2...I have very few reservations about moving her...sos if in a year or two you decide to change..it's not a disaster.

As for friends in aa village which is not your own...that's not too hard. At tis early age they dont have many playdates...I don't personally allow my DD to go and play outside in the street...so she's not really missing out on anything. At around 9 or 10 they will choose their own friends no matter what...and it's then and during high school you may have to do lot's of driving around!

Local school every time

I don't really have anything to add to the dilema of both the schools because I personally would hate the drive every morning especially when we are coming out the end of really bad weather I have friends that didn't pick the local school and had to try and drag the car out every morning where I walked round the corner to the very fab more local school.

What I do want to say is about the type of child you say your dd is.
My ds1 is/was exactly like that, hated toddler groups, hated noisy busy environments, still hates friends birthday parties and things but absolutely loves the hustle and bustle of his pre-school nursery which is quite a big class he really enjoys it when they go into the school with the bigger children.
This is the child that on play session visits to the nursery hid under the table when a teacher spoke to him.
I think one of the reasons he likes is that he has discovered that a crownd can hide him a bit when he is feeling a bit shy and also that he is just having loads of fun.
There is always lots of fun things going on and he is starting to realise that he is more than caable of making as much noise as the rest of them.

Looking back I am so glad I opted for this pre-school (I nearly went for a smaller playgroup) he is young enough to get used to it quickly and has made loads of friends and is finding a confidence he never knew he had.

Local school.

I have posted this often before. But it just is a total no-brainer.

An hour's+ drive (there and back twice) for school run each day will be really annoying.

Then there are after-school clubs but yr younger child is picked up at 3.30pm, so do you wait, go home and come back blah blah.

As seeker says, the drive to bring the euphonium (!) they have forgotten is a right pain.

You can't knock on neighbour's door when the baby is throwing up and you need a hand to get DD to school.

With local school you will see pals in the park, pop round for play dates, when they get to yr 5/6 they will walk to school themselves (that is very important imo, certainly has become so in this house).

I really think yr village school 10 miles away sounds a bad idea. TBH I totally wouldn't consider a school that far away. Well, actually, I didn't.

Will you even get in anyway? Especially if almost all the children there live in the village???

Reception of 14 is not great - that's 7 other girls for her. Hmm, small friednship group. And still I imagine a class of 30, ie FS2 + Yr 1.

Should make it clear that seeker doesn't say that about the euphonium (it's never a blardy flute, is it??) on this thread, but has, memorably, on others

But you're given a 1st, 2nd and 3rd choice of school on the admissions form because you don't have to go for the most local school every time .

I just don't get it.

Surely the no brainer is the better school??

Driving an hour a day is hardly the end of the world is it, for our child/ren's best interest?

Sometimes we have to put our children before ourselves.