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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Just told 9 year old Santa isn't real...

102 replies

Elfie23 · 23/09/2023 21:32

And feel awful!!

She was 9 in June so will be 9 and a half by Christmas.
She seemed to be growing out of it last year, didn't want to see the Santa float because it was 'babyish and knew that the Santa on that was just a man dressed up.

We do a secret Santa with family and SIL asked on text if we were doing again this year - all agreed and I said to DD can she help me pull the names out the hat as she usually does.

She then said some people at school said Santa isn't real (she's in yr 5 so the older kids are now turning 10) and she said he was but felt silly as they laughed...she asked me if he was real and I said what do you think, she shrugged and was asking me questions like how he can get into homes with no chimney (we are in a flat) etc - so I told her.

She was a bit upset but I told her Santa isn't a person but an idea and that she's now in the 'grown up' gang and her job is to help us make it exciting for the younger children etc

I feel bad but I guess it's part of growing up - does anyone have any believes older than 9?
This time next year we'll be looking around secondary schools so feel like it is time to grow up a little 😢

OP posts:
Bluegreen143 · 01/12/2023 10:00

Personally if my children ask me a question point blank I always answer honestly (maybe not in detail depending the question or I may honestly tell them I can’t discuss with them but I don’t lie).

This applies to death, sex, money, religion etc and it applies to Santa too. My nearly 8yo hasn’t asked but if he does then I will treat him with the respect to give him a truthful answer. I won’t volunteer the info til he does ask.

So I think you did the right thing.

Btw my mum sat each of us down at age 7 to tell us the truth about Santa (same age as we got told the mechanics of sex actually 🤣). I now think that’s a bit brutal (I don’t plan to tell the kids til they ask) but tbh it didn’t traumatise me at all and I’ve always loved Christmas so it didn’t spoil it for me at all.

MumTeacherofMany · 08/01/2024 17:17

Why on earth did you tell her?!!? She's so young!!

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