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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

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Original poster

DD first period at 11

28 replies

Mummabear01 · 05/06/2019 13:25

Hi all, my 11 Yr old DD has just started her first period. 2 days in and it's crampy and medium flow. Am I write in keeping her off school for her first period to get to grips with it all?

OP posts:

TheBrockmans · 05/06/2019 13:31

Yr6 or yr7? In general I wouldn't, especially by day 2 as she needs to manage it in school. Having said that yr6 she is probably just missing relaxing, fun stuff anyway. If in yr7 I would have sent her in.

TheBrockmans · 05/06/2019 13:32

Would definitely send her in tomorrow though, she's not ill, it is just part of life.

trinitybleu · 05/06/2019 13:36

Really? My 11 year old / Y7 was doing double PE on day 2 of her first period! Never dreamed of time off....

gaelicgirl · 05/06/2019 13:38

Not sure if I'd keep her off school or not. My DD got her 1st period at 11, and once we'd got over the mess she woke up to (she said it was like a murder scene ) she was fine.

BUT I had prepared her for it, books, talk etc and she'd been carrying round her emergency period pack for about a year. As she's involved in a couple of sports to a high-ish level, all the girls did (make up bag with spare pants, pads & wipes) so she knew it was coming at some point.

Original poster

Mummabear01 · 05/06/2019 13:38

She's Yr 6.sats all done so not missing major work. Its all new to me too so bit unsure as to what to do. Was hoping it would be in the holidays! She's voicing concerns alot, especially over p.e and her friend has voiced that the teachers are a bit lack when it comes to letting them use the toilets as and when needed. They don't even have sanitary bins in the girls loos!

OP posts:

gaelicgirl · 05/06/2019 13:42

Email the school the sanitary bins - they should definitely be I the yr 6 loos.
Also ask if your DD can leave a bag with pads in either in there or somewhere else outside the classroom so she doesn't need to leave the class with stuff.
They would have dealt with this before, so I'm puzzled re the bins

TheWaiting · 05/06/2019 13:42

Well it’s not about getting to grips with her period really. If she’s unwell, then keep her home. Some girls are in a lot of pain first few times. They can also be quite sick and faint, sometimes horrid diarrhoea. If she is one of these girls, then yes, keeping her home with a hot water bottle and some chocolate would be justified. But keeping her home just because it’s her first period is unnecessary. And in fact, some girls have a relatively easy first period followed by a hideous second or third one so you need to judge things on her health rather than the concept of it being a milestone.

stucknoue · 05/06/2019 13:43

As harsh as it seems, send her to school. I would buy her period pants though, use in addition to pads for security, really handy too if their cycle is irregular. I was 11 and I didn't have a day off. (My DD's were older thankfully but dd1 was at school when she started and despite have asd and anxiety coped great£

TheWaiting · 05/06/2019 13:45

I’m shocked to hear that there’s still schools with no bins in the KS2/Y6 toilets. Poor girls. A large % of girls are now starting their periods at 9/10yrs so this makes no sense.

Original poster

Mummabear01 · 05/06/2019 13:46

She was very faint yesterday, I suppose my nerves are the fact that I work 24/48hr shifts and unable to leave if she had issues and the sitter wouldnt be available till the eve.

OP posts:

Justmuddlingalong · 05/06/2019 13:46

I don't see the point of her getting to grips with it at home. She should be getting to grips with it at school or you'll be having the same problems in future.

Original poster

Mummabear01 · 05/06/2019 13:47

They don't have designated loos for Yr 6. And no changing rooms either. They use classrooms to change for p.e. Girls in one, boys in another

OP posts:

Seahorseshoe · 05/06/2019 13:51

I'd try not to catastrophise it, it is a normal part of life and she will get used to it. I was 11, on a field trip with a male teacher.

I can understand you keeping her off school for a day or two, I think the sooner she knows how to juggle sorting herself out at break time, the less of a worry it will be.

Twiggywinkle13 · 05/06/2019 13:56

I started having periods at 9, there is no way I would have been allowed a day off school! My mum went to the school and explained the situation as there was no provision - sanitary bins etc, in the toilets. It’s normal life, people need to learn to get on with it. I have always suffered from awful period pain but I was never allowed off school with it, just given painkillers and sent in.

Careradvice2019 · 05/06/2019 14:02

My daughter is year 6 and no I never felt her have a day off school when she first started her period
There is ONE sanitary bin in the girls cubicles of which there are 8 stalls..she prays that its free when she has an ' accident '

TheWaiting · 05/06/2019 14:07

Well in Y6 don’t have their own lips then there needs to be buns in whatever looks the Y5/Y6 girls use.

TheWaiting · 05/06/2019 15:10

That should obviously be bins

TheWaiting · 05/06/2019 15:11

Bloody auto correct: don’t have their own loos

Flicketyflack · 05/06/2019 15:19

I would do what feels right for you and your dd.

After you have sorted yourselves out I would speak with the school about no sanitary bins in toilet, changing facilities etc so another girl does not have the same issues.

I agree she is not 'ill' in a medical sense but nevertheless she may need emotional support due to her age etc.

PerspicaciaTick · 05/06/2019 15:42

Phone the school to ask what arrangements they have in place.
Make up a small bag with clean pants, trousers/skirt and plenty of pads to put in the bottom of her school bag.
Give her a dose of paracetamol in the morning if she is achy.
Then, at the weekend, give her a reward (gets favourite tea or to choose TV program or something similarly simple) for coping so well.

blackcat2345 · 19/06/2019 10:00

Bit late to the party in this thread but can anyone recommend period pants for an 11 year old?
DD is struggling to get to grips with her flow (only started 3 months ago) and has been leaking quite a lot.

Don't want anything too bulky as she's still small but needs to contain a medium flow

Branleuse · 19/06/2019 12:41

I think these ones look good value and worth a try. A lot cheaper than the others ive seen
www.cheekywipes.com/period-pants-uk/period-pants-teens-tweens-sporty-uk.html

reluctantbrit · 19/06/2019 12:45

We have Modibois for DD, medium to heavy flow works for a full day at school, she then changes at home.

They are a bit snug, she is wearing 15-16 M&S knickers and is in 14-16 in the Modibodi teen range or an S in adult.

BonAccordSpur · 20/06/2019 13:21

Honestly cant believe some of the truly bizarre comments on this thread..is this some sort of contest as to whose kids can endure the most discomfort lol!! yes i too had a horribly harsh mum who was of the' get into school and deal with it 'mentality back in the 80s, i swore id be a bit more compassionate and have no problem keeping DC off,well supplied with a tv remote, ibruprofen and chocolate..In the same way i happily sack off any commitments if i feel like shit, period or otherwise : )

blackcat2345 · 21/06/2019 08:16

Have ordered a pair of Modibodi for DD to see how she gets on. Not overly impressed by the £5 delivery charge especially when it's not even next day

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