aibu to have told my dd about periods?

[xmasadsboohiss]

so my little one is almost ten an has suddenly started developing breast buds and is complaining about feeling unwell with stomach ache etc. so rather than have her frightened if it happens, i told her tonight what a period was - in that it's blood every month but no more detail than that. now i feel awful because she got a bit upset. is it better for them to know? hate the idea of her being frightened by blood without knowing what it is.

She's ten, I'd say you were pretty late telling her tbh.

Goodness even my ds knew by the age of 7 or 8 so 10 is plenty old enough to know. Dd started her periods at age 11

So many period threads on MN atm.

I told my 9 yr old dd about periods she was 5

Has your dd never been in the toilet with you? Seen pads or tampons?

And you could have introduced the idea gradually over the last few years rather than making it a big thing

that's interesting. feeling now like i won't mention anything for a while. she was also upset by the breast buds when i explained what they were last week. she'd had a bad day at school so maybe i chose the wrong moment. feels like a minefield.

It's only a minefield because you have left it so ridiculously late.

to be fair i didn't make it a big thing. just told her when we were having a cuddle. and she did bounce back pretty quick.

Wow, that's really late! Better to educate her asap.

My 5 year olds have known about periods since they were 2. Mainly because they would follow me to the toilet and saw the blood, the truth was easier for them, than worrying about me bleeding.

ten is late? really? so what's the advice now then? have little chats here and there about sex? i'm not prudish and have no problem doing it but just don't want to upset her again.

Surely they have covered it in some way at school by now? I remember being given a talk and some pads at school in about yr5/6

My DD is 10, she as known about periods since she was 8.

I’ve put a little makeup type bag in her school bag with pads, wipes and spare knickers in case she starts at school.

They’ve already been told about growing up by the teachers, but I’ve also told her about sex etc

I’d suggest being up front and honest with her about it all. My parents didn’t and periods etc were never to be spoken about!

yeah they do a bit at school i think but i don't want to go depending on what she learns there to be honest.

Very late yes! Girls can start aged 8 you know - did you want her to think she'd cut herself or something?

I guess you haven't had the sex talk yet either

yeah my mum was really open about everything but i don't remember it being discussed too much before the age of ten or eleven to be honest. i certainly knew when i was having those little mini periods that that's what they were. i've kind of been guided by her - she hasn't asked too many direct questions up to now but I guess now I have to get more proactive.

I started my period at 9, it pretty common to start earlier now. I think 10 is late.

I think you're showing your hang ups, and I really hope they aren't transmitted to your DD. You have left it very late - indeed she may already have been taught about this at school (it's usually first covered in year 5 or 6).

Bright breezy and no nonsense is probably the best approach.

And yes, keep talking. Lots of little chats show normality, rather than the weirdity of set pieces about which you are clearly making a big deal.

My DS is 5 and knows that women bleed every month when their monthly egg doesn't turn in to a baby.

I have consciously engineered moments when him and DD (7) have seen sanitary towels and blood in the toilet. I'd rather this stuff was all very matter of fact from as early as possible.

Having said that my mum told me when I was 11. I was "oh right". And that was that.

I'd say 10 is late. I have a 10 yr old and introduced the idea at 8/9. She is skin and bones so I doubt she will start before 12 but I wanted her to know before kids started talking about it in the playground.

After our chat, (which was walking along the street, not a formal sit down at the table talk!). I got her a couple of books.

They do a talk at school in yr 5 so didn't want that to be a surprise. They cover periods and puberty in yr 5 and then sex in yr 6.

I know there are at least a couple of girls in yr 6 that have started already, so again, best to know.

Really?? 10 is considered old to have this conversation?

I don't think I ever told my children. They simply grew up seeing and having questions answered as and when. They knew about periods from toddlerhood and about procreation around the same age. One used to prefer 'Portland babies' to teletubbies. She could explain exactly where babies came from before she'd started school.
Ten is rather late.

Both my girls have known, at some level of detail, since before they started school. Rather than sitting them down for one big talk, I have dropped it into conversation now and then, explaining more as they get older. They have seen me change tampons. They know why periods happen (important, I think). And because it's never been new information, it's never been shocking information.

I don't want to make you feel bad, OP, but for others reading this: yes, I think 10 is very late to tell them. It's just too great a risk that they will start before then, and they almost certainly have heard references to it in the school playground. We should always aim to talk to them before their friends do.

My dd is a young 9 although actually nearly 10 and she knows about how her body will change. I started periods and wearing a bra at 9 although dd isn't showing any budding she has some longer hair below. It's always been spoken about very openly since she was 3 and saw blood in my knickers (sanitary towel in a small public toilet).

We've not talked about sex yet. I don't think she's ready but I am sure it's coming. I follow her lead a great deal. I imagine dd is upset as it's a shock being told when it's too late to get her head round it.