Daughter was shamed by other mums - need advice

[VegemiteToast]

Hi! Long time lurker, but figured out that I'd reach out and see if I could get some perspective on an incident with DD 11 and a few of the mums at school, a while back.

DD is very pale skinned with dark hair. She has been teased in the past by other kids, but we make sure to allow her to shave, wax and do whatever else that will help her self esteem (I suffered from the same problem as a child.) DD was checked by an endocrinologist and had her blood tested to see if there were any imbalances, but unfortunately, her body hair is due to genetics.

DD attended a sport carnival at school, before the end of term. After running in a race, she recovered near a group of mums. One of the mums told her that she ran like a man. Another chimed in and told her that she had the facial hair for it, too. They all laughed at her and she felt embarrassed and ashamed - so much so that she only told me about this now after school has ended

I'm angry for her and devastated that this has happened. Her feelings are hurt and I can see that it has affected her self esteem. I don't know what to do though, as this happened a while ago. I know the mums and am just furious that they have shamed her body. I don't even know where to begin.

If my DD was your DD, what would you do? Thanks!

Isn't there something inherent in Steiner religion about how people who get shit in life (are said to) deserve that crap due to own sins in their last life? I can't remember, have been long threads about that what's wrong with Steiner on MN. BBC article.

Unfortunately those schools do have poor reputations for dealing with bullying :(

You are doing absolutely everything you should for your daughter and she will feel safe and so loved. Don't let the school brush this off, it's unacceptable. Do contact the board if it's not resolved to your satisfaction.

It does me in SO badly, lljkk. I can't wait for DD to finish up and for us to move her into mainstream education. She knows her school is different and while she enjoys it, she also can't wait to go to secondary school as well. I find myself feeling rather sceptical of the whole thing and honestly dislike being a Steiner family, but we are so far in that we may as well see it through. We are in the process of considering an international move for the end of her next school year, so I think change will help us all.

I'll really have to fight for it, Gplan but I also feel ready to. In some respects, I've had enough of the school and this is the final straw for me. I want nothing more than to sort this out and see DD through happy and well. There is definitely a strong two tiered culture and it's tiring to be on the bottom.

Didn't realise that sending your kids to a Steiner school gave you licence to be a cow.

Not you, op, obviously.

I'm absolutely all for writing to the Head. It's the sensible way to deal with it. But I can tell you I know I'd have to be restrained if I saw the women In question. Sometimes, this being an example, people need to be held up and to account.

Neither, Rosie. DH and I both went to mainstream schools. While we haven't been overly impressed with Steiner, we find that DD is happy, thriving and well adjusted. The expectations and two tiered nature of the school is exhausting though. I've been finding myself seriously regretting it, over the last few weeks.