Bedtime for 11-13 year olds?

[cupofteaplease55]

Sorry if this has been done to death before

DD1 is 12 and goes upstairs to shower at 8, in bed by 8.30 and allowed to read until about 9.

She's fine with this but was saying a lot of girls in her year (7) are up until 10/10.30, and one even 11.30!

Just interested to know what time your 11-13 year olds go to bed at thanks

My dd is nearly 13, she has to go to her room but she is allowed to read until as late as she likes (we have no tech in bedrooms so it's reading only). She is a bookworm with library access so sometimes stays awake longer than she should but she's learning through experience why this isn't a great idea.

Ds is nearly 12. Like your dd he is in bed and reading for 8:30, lights out 9pm. He is up for 6 though. He put himself to bed at 9:20 last night. 10:30 ? No way in term time, in the summer maybe....

DS is 12. He is in bed by 8.30, can read until 9. He is up at 6.40 most mornings to fit in with DH and my commute.

My dd, 11, is in bed at 9 and turns her own light out. She's gone through a phase of getting to bed late - 10ish - but thankfully seems to be turning her light out about 9.15 now.

Dd is nearly 13 and has to go up to her room at 8.45 which seems ridiculously early but we let her watch DVDs on her portable DVD player or read or draw or whatever else. We do have a no gadgets in bedrooms rule - so no iPad etc. She doesn't seem to mind and enjoys reading etc. I need some space to myself in the evenings as we have severely disabled ds aged 3.8 as well who gets up every day at 4.45am. At the weekends we are more relaxed about bedtimes, sometimes it's 9.30 /10 if we all watch a film together.

Lots of my dds friends don't even have a bedtime! Their parents let them stay downstairs till whatever time they like! That would drive me crazy, I need some peace and quiet.

I think it sounds a bit early tbh. 9pm is bedtime for my 5 and 6 year olds school nights, and at weekends they say when they are tired and go to bed ( can be 7pm-11pm). By 12 years I don't think they should have a set bedtime but should know they need to be asleep by a suitable time for school but they can adjust accordingly.
A few nights of her going way to late will let her work out she's tired and go to bed earlier

My 11 year old is supposed to be in bed by 9pm and 13 year old by 10pm, but it doesn't always work that way! They need to be up by 6.45 in the week. On the weekend they go to bed later, but depends what they're doing.

My 13 yr old Dd has Air Cadets twice a week (mon & Thurs) so isn't in bed until 10:15 on those nights, asleep by 10:30. This is far too late for her so On Tues and weds she is in bed for 8:30, lights out for 9. Weekends are later depending on where we are and what we're doing. Normally about 10:30 though.
She just gets so awfully grumpy if she doesn't have enough sleep.
It is quite shocking though how late some of her friends are awake, Dd has to leave her phone downstairs on charge overnight and it's still going off at midnights, 1 am!!!

DS is 12 and has roughly the same rules as you for weekdays- in bedroom/reading by 8.30; in bed at 9pm, lights out. He does increasingly slid the 9pm to 9.15/9.30 now. Weekends, more like 9.30/9.45 for lights out, and he does have one late club a week where he usually sit' in bed until 10pm.

DD is 12
i send her up by 8.30
not sure what time she goes to sleep, i go up about 9.30 and she is usually asleep or nearly
she gets up at 6.30 though

Dd(11) goes up at 9, after-school activities allowing, lights off by 9.30. Ds(13) goes up at 9.45 or 10. Some year 6s are still going to bed at 7.30, some at 10.30 quite often still with their phones. Year 8 seem to range from 9-11ish.

12 year old is up to bed at 9.30/10, turns her own light out soonish after. She doesn't need to get up until 7.30, but needs to be woken most mornings.

And Dd has always been one that gets to sleep late. Her younger siblings go up at 7.30/8 and have always fallen asleep quickly, while she doesn't.

Bedtime for dd (14) is 9.15am when she's at home & I think it's 9.30pm when she is in boarding.

get up time is pretty significant though isn't it?

ds has to get up at 6:45.
His school expects them to read for 20 minutes every day.

so year 7 (he is one of oldest in year) age 12, he was in bed at 8:40, lights out 9pm. He was exhausted and needed it.

now year 8, he is in bedroom at 9:00pm and reads/ chills out till lights out 9:30. He doesn't seem to need as much sleep this year.

no phones in bedroom, if we didn't turn the light out, he would read till past midnight (and does in the holidays). Constant battle to keep to bedtime.

dd1 is 11 (year 6) and still sleeps 10-11 full hours a night, don't know what we will do with her in sept when she has to get up at 6:45

Dd gets up at about 7.15 during the week, so 9.45 is probably when she should be asleep by on a school night as I think she probably matches this nhs chart more or less, so needs about 9 hours 30 at age 11. She doesn't always get that by any means, but I've found it a useful guide over the years when we are getting a bit slack. There's probably a lot of variation in what children need, but I think it probably matches my children fairly well.

DD1 (11yrs) has the same bedtime. She will sometimes delay her shower and end up half hour later to bed. (9:30) When she does this a few times she's ended up with dark circles and a less sunny temper.

Others at school claim bedtimes that would make me feel exhausted. It's hard to know how much is bravado, or poor supervision. I do think some children can self monitor tiredness and bedtimes, but not all and not all the time.

My 4 yo (nearly 5) is able to say when she wants to go to bed (6:15pm this evening). She is typically asleep by 8/8:30pm. She needs 11 hours.

My 9yo needs 10.5 hours. My 11 yo needs 10 hours. I think this is fairly typical (and also reflects what I've read).

dd 12, year 7, in bed and lights out by 9. Up at 6.30. She can sleep later if she wants at weekend, but her body clock hasn't let her do so yet...

13 & 14 year olds go to bed at 9.30/10 on week nights more like 10 at the weekend. We're all up at 7.

Depends a lot on getting up time and your child.

My 11yo y6 has lights out 9ish and I wake her up 7:30ish.

My 16yo y12 still puts her own light out 9:30ish and wakes up 7:10. She has always needed more sleep than average.

However I think 10/10.30 regularly is likely to be way too late for a pre-teen and would be surprised if they were properly awake at school.

hi all.
first time on here.
just reading through everyones comments & wandering if im being to strict with my 12yr old boy bed time. i say screens off at 8 & light off at 8.30 (although sometimes we run late) , & he never wants to get up in morning.
suppose it depends on how they cope the next day :)

I have similar Ellie
My just turned 13yr old generally starts getting ready for bed around 8.15/8.30. Lights off around 8.45. His alarm goes off at 6.40 and he gets up quite happily (!) at 7.00.
Having said that, he has clubs on 1-2 nights per week which mean bedtime is more like 9.30.

my Y7 dd normally heads up at about 8, and lights off at about 8.30 unless she hasn't finished her homework. She is up at 6.40. She needs her sleep and usually asks to go to bed at about that time at weekends too (Fridays are later - 9.30is) as she has Guides.
DS (Y9) takes an age with homework, and whilst I like him to have lights out by 9.30, he is often still working at gone 10. Again I have to wake him at 6.40.

Dd is 12 and goes up at 9 on a school night, getting up at 7:10 for school.
This bedtime is conditional on her not needing to be dragged out of bed and she knows that not getting up independently will mean an earlier bedtime.

Weekends are usually 10ish and she'll appear around 10 am.

I have told dd that her friends will probably be on a similar routine no matter what they say and that it doesn't bother me at all if she wants to join in the pretend bedtime game.

We still send them up to read at 8pm and lights off at 8.30
Ds is 12 and gets up at 6.30 but at the weekends he never lies in so needs the sleep I feel