Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Bedtime for 11-13 year olds?

37 replies

cupofteaplease55 · 28/02/2016 15:18

Sorry if this has been done to death before

DD1 is 12 and goes upstairs to shower at 8, in bed by 8.30 and allowed to read until about 9.

She's fine with this but was saying a lot of girls in her year (7) are up until 10/10.30, and one even 11.30!

Just interested to know what time your 11-13 year olds go to bed at thanks

OP posts:

lottiebear69 · 06/04/2016 23:17

Ds 12 years aim for bedroom at 9pm lights out shortly after but often 10pm tbh. Weekend all go at similar time about 10.30 unless we're out. Seems between 9-10 is the norm at his school. No way would I be able to get him upstairs by 8 - got one he would only just have eaten and he wouldn't see his dad much of that was the case.

CountryLovingGirl · 10/04/2016 07:12

12 year old DS goes at 10pm (he refuses point blank to go any earlier as 'all of his friends' go even later! Can be 10.30 at weekends and school holidays. DD (aged 7.5) goes at 8.15pm every night, regardless of weekends and holidays.

SavoyCabbage · 10/04/2016 07:22

My 12 year old goes upstairs at 8pm. She needs a lot of sleep and I've told her her she doesn't have to tell her friends what's time she goes to bed. She can say 'I go at 10pm' if she wants to and nobody will know. She knows she is miserable if she's tired.

In our day you wouldn't get away with it because we all watched TV live but that's not the case now.

gingerdad · 10/04/2016 07:28

Both my 13. & 15 y/o in bed for 9 on a school night unless scouts/guide nights. More like 11 on the weekend. Up for 7.30'on a school day.

bella1968 · 12/04/2016 15:52

Bedtime for my dd and ds (who are 12, 13 in July so at the end of year 8) is upstairs at 8pm and lights out at 8.30, no tech only reading or getting ready for bed for that half hour. My ds doesn't need so much sleep so I'm not so bothered if I catch him reading till 10pm whereas my dd needs the sleep and is grouchy if she doesn't get it, she is now figuring all this out for herself and as long as she doesn't take any tech upstairs she goes to sleep. We all have to get up at 6.45 in the morning though.

However, all the way through primary they were in bed at 7 whereas others were in bed at 8pm, they needed their sleep and we didn't have any problems.

It absolutely doesn't matter what time 'other friends' go to bed, your child doesn't have to tell them the truth and even if they do there's no shame in needing more sleep! this kind of 'fitting in with others' isn't good for them. The child and parent must do what is right for that particular child and themselves, we all need time in the evening when our children go to bed to collect our thoughts and prepare for the next day and deserve to have a little 'me' time.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 12/04/2016 16:48

My 12 year old goes up between 9.30-10pm
He's up at 6.20am

He has training 3 nights a week so we aren't home til around 8.45 so it would be almost impossible to get to bed any earlier.

My eldest 2 had a similar bedtime at that age. 8.30pm seems early to me but all children are different and need different amounts of sleep

Yankeetarts · 12/04/2016 16:58

My school 14 and 13 10.30 on weekdays and weekends/holidays most 12

Peanutbutterrules · 24/02/2017 07:58

My 12 DD goes to bed between 9-9:15. That's light out. Judging by her phone pinging away her friends do stay up a lot later! I know from talking to other Mums that some of her primary friends go to bed 10:30/11 which I think is madness.

DD gets up at 6:30 during the week, and does seem to sleep in til 8:30/9 on weekends.

Foureyesarebetterthantwo · 24/02/2017 08:43

Screens/TV/mobiles off at 9pm, they just get ready after that, so get into bed and fall asleep between 9.30-10. My eldest is a late bird and always has been, so she can be as late as 11 which isn't ideal but I can't actually make her sleep, so if she's in bed with gadgets off, it's up to her when to sleep.

On weekends, later, 10-11.

Dancergirl · 24/02/2017 11:50

It is probably a bit early for a 12 year old OP but as others have said, it depends on how much sleep they need! Does she fall asleep quite quickly?

My dd is a bit older (just turned 14) and her bedtime has gradually got later and later. She's a night owl though and can't fall asleep too early. A year ago it was probably around 9.45/10pm, now it's closer to 10.30pm. It's later than I would like for her but she seems ok with the amount of sleep she gets.

PatriciaHolm · 24/02/2017 11:58

12.5 year old DD needs lights out about 9, sleep definitely by 10 or she is VILE at 7am when she needs to get up! DS (almost 11) is about the same, a bit better in the mornings to be fair, but we'll have to see what secondary school does to him- he gets up at 8am now and that will have to be 7am the same in September...

namechangingagainagain · 24/02/2017 12:07

DS13 goes up at 9pm on a school night. The wifi doesnt stretch to his room but he sometimes read and we dont need to enforce a lights out. He sets his own alarm and gets up at 6:45 every school morning himself as his bus is quite early ( DH and my alarm goes off anywhere from 5:30- 7:30 depending on who is working and what hours they are doing).

DS10 is MEANT to go up at 8:30.... read and then asleep by 9. This is a constant struggle! He is not a morning person ( has be be dragged out of bed) and gets up at 7:30.

weekends whatever time they fancy but unusual to be later than 11.

Flip

1 2