Rude humour or evidence my son's been 'accessing hardcore gay porn'? You decide.

[Spidermama]

I've just come back from lunch with my friend. Our DSs are 11 and a half and just getting ready for secondary school. They've been best mates for years.

Po-faced she handed me a bit of paper she'd fished out of the bin with writing on it from both her ds and mine. You know the game where you write the line of a story then fold it over and someone else writes the next line and you build up a story together? Well this was one of those.

They'd drawn willy pictures on one side and on the other side written the rudest stuff they could possibly think of because that's what makes 11 year olds laugh.

Let's call my ds 'A' and hers 'B'

B: They played spin the bottle at the prostitutes house.
A: It got boring so they decided to suck cocks and enjoy it.
B: After a while they eat each other.
A: Then one of them went up to the bum hole land.
B: It got boring so they diced (sic) to have a threesome.
A: After a while they eat cock.

You get the idea. Anyway my friend tells me she's very concerned that my DS has been 'exposed' to hardcore gay porn and she doesn't want her DS to be affected by this.

I was a little shocked to see it at first because obviously my 11 year old doesn't use this sort of language in front of me. However, the more I looked at it, the more it seemed like perfectly ordinary exploration of sexuality mixed with a bit of 11 year old let's-see-how-shocking-we-can-be type of antics.

I'm very hurt at my friend's implication that it's all being led by my DS when they've clearly both enjoyed the game. I told her she's deluding herself in this respect. She's confronted her DS about and said he was mortified. I told her I felt she'd invaded their privacy somewhat and was over reacting.

I'm also told her I'm concerned about her concentration on the 'gay' aspects of it. Personally I don't see the relevance.

[everythinghippie29]

spidermamma I think you handled the situation well and didn't demonize sex or sexuality by flying into a mad panic. You advised your son to perhaps be more discreet in future ( which was needed given the trouble this could have caused if found in school fo example!), and it sounds like you have an honest and open dialogue with all of your children, which is lovely. I hope when a similar situation comes for me my parenting skills will reflect yours!

[piffpoff]

I have to say the note made me chuckle although if it was my DS I know I may not find it quite so funny. I have a 12 yr old DS and I know that he knows all about this stuff and that it comes from school. I dread to think of some of the conversations they have given what I have over heard whilst eavesdropping passing by his room.
It is a worry about what they might have access to, mine tells me he's not seen any porn and I do believe him but sadly know its only a matter of time despite our best efforts to monitor his computer use.
I also remember at this age ( vaguely- over 30 yrs ago being taken, along with my friends to see some porno mags that some boys in my class had found in some bushes. It's a natural thing at this age to be curious but I think it's still all a bit gross as well.
OP I think you handled it really well and sorry about your friend, it's disappointing that she's shown herself to be so prejudiced.

[Spidermama]

Thanks for your kind words piffpoff and everythinghippie.

DS was mortified at first that it had been found but he seems to have put it behind him. He still hangs out with his friend at school but hasn't gone back to his house or had his friend round here like they used to. He says he's too embarrassed now which I understand but think is sad.

Pickledinapeartree I agree that bumhole land is pretty funny.