Stress of getting 11 yr old daughter to shower

[lottie63]

I m fed up to the back teeth of having to hassle my 11 yr old DD to keep herself clean. It s a fight to make her shower, she knows she needs to moisturize her skin as she has bad eczema and scratches herself silly. Her bottom, thighs and backs if knees are begining to scar. She refuses to let me moisturize her. Her hair is greasy and she just needs to keep herself clean more. I m at a loss to know what to do. It always ends up in argument and I worry her skin is going to be permanently scarred if she doesnt start taking care of it better.

Any advice gratefully received.

Have been through this with my 2 eldest DDs. One with skin that reacts to everything and one with better but still not great skin. Not easy.
I went for stick and carrot approach too.
Warm fluffy towels warm bathrooms and E45 bath oil bubbles while I chatted or with music. Equally the sorry, you must now shower, could fry an egg on type hair.
DD2 almost there. And DD1 - still only 13...... I can't get her out of the shower!!
This too will pass.
Good luck!

There is a good book called 'The Care and Keeping of You' by American Girl press. It explains puberty, periods, etc., and also goes into the 'care and keeping' bit, explaining the importance of being clean, developing healthy habits. I recommend it, (along with screeching ). It is a very positive book, helps girls embrace the changes they are going through and get on top of things.

My daughter is 11 and for her I think it's more a case of wanting to do something more interesting! At the moment I've settled for a bath/shower every other day and she gets told when she comes in she has to have a bath/shower that night. Now it's getting colder, I've noticed she will now do it straight away and then get cosy in her dressing gown. Inbetween I insist on a wash of hands, face, feet, underarms and between legs with a clean flannel and soap which seems to be working as the pressure if off every night of having to take too much time out. We're lucky in that she doesn't tend to perspire and doesn't smell (yet!).

We are just through this, mostly with 13yr old DD2. We resorted to " you smell go shower" I'm afraid!

And no TV/No WII or what ever till you're done (or even dinner will be on the table in 15 mins, that's just enough time for a shower so you smell sweet and lovely at the table!)

Showering does not improve eczema, it makes it worse. Tell her to do a sponge bathe of pits and bits

wash her hair over the sink if she is super greasy, or maybe a dry shampoo?

Ha just noticed how old this thread was, I clicked on the preeteen section and it was in the box that normally discussions of the day!

I am so glad I'm not the only one with a dd that has an aversion to soap and water. I struggle to get dd1 in the bath, her hair is terrible and I've found she smells a bit especially when she's been dancing or has done pe.

I had her hair cut to shoulder length last month which has made things a bit better, she wasn't able to wash it properly as it was bum length and very thick, it's much better and had made bath time less of an ordeal as she doesn't have me in there washing her hair for her.

I still have to nag though. My ds who is 13 spends an hour in the bath everyday so I suppose they do grow out of it.

How odd, I have just been having this exact conversation with DD (10)! She's basically lazy and wants an extra 10 mins in bed in the morning but as she's growing up it does notice when she hasn't showered so there's no way round it. She's got lots of nice toiletries that she was given for Xmas, there's a warm towel waiting when she gets out and I've stressed how unpleasant grubby people can be to be around - not sure what else I can do apart from nag so I sympathise with everyone else who's in the same boat!