3 year old not enjoying nursery

[carterrw15]

Hi guys, bit of a long one here but I feel pretty heartbroken for my son. So since beginning of the year we found out my son had a place at nursery to start in September. Ever since we have always spoke about him starting nursery and he has been so excited. Comes to his first day in September and he was fine the first week. The following few weeks he cried a bit while I was leaving but he was fine straight after. Comes to two weeks ago and he was fine me leaving him but absolutely sobbing when coming out of nursery but his teacher said he was fine all day. They had been learning about fire alarms these days and he is scared of alarms which I think upset him. The week after he had tears going in but fine coming out. Unfortunately he caught the sickness bug last week so was off 5 days and went back this morning. He started crying when he woke up and didn't stop till I picked him up. He only does mornings every day. 8.45 till 11.45. I ask him if he is enjoying nursery and he says yes but I say well why do you get upset and he says cos I miss you mummy. When he gets home from nursery he literally sits on the sofa staring into space for an hour. Like he's traumatised by what has happened. He's so quiet and calm and just looks around. He keeps getting so upset saying he doesn't want to go to nursery and it breaks my heart. He is genuinely upset and it breaks my heart. Do you have any advise? I've tried everything. Telling him how fun nursery is, not stopping around when I drop him off I help him write his name on the whiteboard and go to the window to wave bye. I don't know what to do I just want him to be happy 😥😥😥 he is a very wary little boy. He likes to know what going off and who's who and likes to know the ins and outs about everything. He has been with me full time for his whole life. He only turned 3 in July.

Thank you so much for your advise everyone. It's currently 7.40 and we've had no tears so far. He's actually excited to go and show a picture of his pumpkin he picked and carved over the weekend. I feel a lot stronger this week than upset. Maybe he picked up on me being anxious I'm not sure. He seems a lot better this morning so far

Could you ask his teacher for a 'visual timetable' for him? Sometimes children become upset/anxious if they don't know what is happening next. It's just a board (maybe A3 size) where the child puts pictures (stuck with Velcro) of what he is going to do throughout the morning e.g sand play, building, storytime.
Good luck - he's probably just taking time to adjust after being without you after 3 years by your side.
Ps I'm a Nursery teacher & have NEVER told a parent that their child has been fine when they haven't!! I can't believe that this is common practice.

I haven't either mishgs. Told a parent a child is fine when they aren't. You want them to be having a nice time.

I think that a little calendar at home showing which days he goes might be helpful.

I imagine it’s a nursery attaches to a school so 3 hours every day.

Saying bye is the trickiest bit but be (or appear to be) happy and calm and if he asks if you’ll pick him up say yes, he’ll learn.

Finally when he sits on the sofa afterwards he’s probably knackered. DS has started school nursery thus September, he’s 4 soon, do older than your DS, and he’s tired after his three hours!

I worked in a nursery and had a little boy in my group much like your son. Believe me his keyworker will be supporting him the best she can and one day it will just click. This little boy used to follow me around like a shadow and at the start got so upset when I went on break that I would let him come with me while I had my lunch in the office and he would colour in. Eventually he was fine. Some just take longer than others